my3babes
03-05-2006, 01:05 PM
my ds has been really pushing limits lately. It has gotten us to the point that we forget the 5 steps and yell. then he cries and nobody is happy. My real question is how many times do you think you should use the 5 steps on the same situation. We have been trying them with certain situations but we repeat it about 10 times a day, every day. I would think some things would sink into his head, but they dont seem to be.
some examples we have worked on
1.slamming his bedroom door shut on his sister. He constantly does this because he doesnt want her in his room. I cant count how many times we have gone over this with him or how many times my dd (3) has gotten fingers smashed very badly. Finally we took the door off the hinges.
2. Throwing, kicking pillows around the house. He has some throw pillows in his room that are in different shapes to match his room decor. He has decided that they also make good balls for inside the house. He will kick, throw, etc the balls. When we talk about where they should go he says he understands. 5 minutes later he is kicking one and knocking a shelf down.
Ive gotten to the point that I want to take them out of his room too, but I think there can be more of a solution than taking everything away. You cant take everything away in real life and I would rather him learn how to make good decisions, but he isnt. He is continually making the same bad decisions.
3.Hockey in the house-we live where hockey is very popular. kids are on skates at 3 and playing hockey at 5-6. he has a pair of roller blades that he uses in the off season to practice outside. Well he has decided that it should also be an in the house sport. We do the 5 steps and he takes them back to his room. I'll come back 10 minutes later and they are back out. Last night was the worst because he also had his stick out and accidently knocked his 3 yr old sister in the head. My dh lost it and picked him up, put him in time out and yelled at him. More tears but yet we still have nothing resolved.
How many times daily can we excpect to have these same problems go on if we keep using the 5 steps. they arent working, yelling isnt working, nothing seems to get the rules of what is appropriate through this childs head. I think at six he should be able to understand that some things cant be played with in the house. At school he does wonderfully dealing with their rules, but loses all common sense when he walks through our door. Can anyone give me any insight on this?
some examples we have worked on
1.slamming his bedroom door shut on his sister. He constantly does this because he doesnt want her in his room. I cant count how many times we have gone over this with him or how many times my dd (3) has gotten fingers smashed very badly. Finally we took the door off the hinges.
2. Throwing, kicking pillows around the house. He has some throw pillows in his room that are in different shapes to match his room decor. He has decided that they also make good balls for inside the house. He will kick, throw, etc the balls. When we talk about where they should go he says he understands. 5 minutes later he is kicking one and knocking a shelf down.
Ive gotten to the point that I want to take them out of his room too, but I think there can be more of a solution than taking everything away. You cant take everything away in real life and I would rather him learn how to make good decisions, but he isnt. He is continually making the same bad decisions.
3.Hockey in the house-we live where hockey is very popular. kids are on skates at 3 and playing hockey at 5-6. he has a pair of roller blades that he uses in the off season to practice outside. Well he has decided that it should also be an in the house sport. We do the 5 steps and he takes them back to his room. I'll come back 10 minutes later and they are back out. Last night was the worst because he also had his stick out and accidently knocked his 3 yr old sister in the head. My dh lost it and picked him up, put him in time out and yelled at him. More tears but yet we still have nothing resolved.
How many times daily can we excpect to have these same problems go on if we keep using the 5 steps. they arent working, yelling isnt working, nothing seems to get the rules of what is appropriate through this childs head. I think at six he should be able to understand that some things cant be played with in the house. At school he does wonderfully dealing with their rules, but loses all common sense when he walks through our door. Can anyone give me any insight on this?