Just wanted to say

[genifer]

I just wanted to say that I am so glad I found this site. New here and have wrestled with the issue of discipline with my family for a long time now. I have read all kinds of material that encourages spanking and that kind of discipline. I have ALWAYS felt that after I applied some of those techniques that I was never happy with it. I have honestly never come across this sort of information in Christian form. Secular, a bit but not christian. I tried ap when my twins were born but had no support (long story, seperated from dh at time) but I breastfed them both exclusively, then bf my son 18 months later. My dh is an old fashioned sort of disciplinarian so there is no end of contention where this area is concerned (may need some advice and support in this area ;) quietly asking for it without making dh look like a bad guy). (there are alot of other issues there as well, all of which God is faithfully working us thru, PTL!). I suppose Im sort of introducing myself here in this way because I am so keen on making the transition from punative discipline to the more natural and gentle approach. There are areas where I personally struggle, just like anyone else, I suppose. And I have never read a book about Gentle disciplining. Please forgive me for not taking the time to search thru the forums but I dont have the time!!!! There is so much fab stuff to sift thru!!! Can anyone give me a really good place to start? Some good resources. I have to say that even tho I have 'struggled' with some areas I was pleasantly surprised after reading thru some of the material here. I was like 'Hey, I do that!' lol!

[slingmamaof4]

A really great book is Easy to Love Difficult to Disclipline by Becky A. Bailey. My local library has at least two copies and I live in a very small area, so your library shuld certainly have a copy. I love it so much that I asked for it as a gift for my b-day (thanks Rebecca--jadensmom). I think that is a great starting point.

I am pretty new to this forum too (not quite 5 months yet). This forum has been a great help for me. I have never really been a corporal punishment type of person, but I would do time outs and other things that I never realized were punishments the way I was doing them. And that there are alternatives that still let my kids now I mean business, but that I don't have to "punish" them.

As for your dh. He may slowly start coming around. My dh has only spanked my dd a few times and has never spanked my ds. And the last time he spanked was before ds was even born. But he was still maintaining that he thought it was a fine option until about 6 mos ago. And now he never mentions it at all. He doesn't threaten to spank or say that he thinks it is fine. I don't think he is really anti-spanking yet, but he sees that there are other ways to handle things and he was never big spanker to start with so it wasn't a hard transition for him at all. But sometimes he is still like :rolleyes2 when it comes to AP/GBD, but he is slowly but surely seeing how I handle things and he uses most of the techniques as well. So although he might :rolleyes2 sometimes, he is still certainly utilizing the tools I have learned and he has seen me use. So :clap

A big thing for my dh was seeing that just because I don't use punitive measures doesn't mean I am not assertive. When he sees that kids can listen well and that a parent can let children know that one's means what one says it is much easier to accept a new approach. If I was letting the kids walk all over me and being passive dh would :no2 instead of :rolleyes2. So don't forget that you can still be assertive and should be assertive without being punitive. I think that a lot of times during the transition a lot go from punitive to passive. Instead of from punitive to non-punitive assertive.

[ArmsOfLove]

welcome :)

you can spend some time reading my site at http://www.aolff.org

and there is a sticky at the top of this forum that has a list of great books.

many dh's come around when they see that you aren't just *not spanking* and you aren't being permissive but you're doing something *different* and effective :tu

[Radosny Matka]

:bear :welcome :hug