Coping with Persistance

[ServantofGod]

I'm trying to keep a positive spin on this. :shifty Mason....ah, at 14 months, his ability to stick to an idea knows no bounds. :banghead My SIL says, "See, he's so advanced, he's 'terrible twos' at barely one!" :laughtears

But on a more serious note, he really wears me OUT. I mean totally, completely exhausts me. :poke He's ten children in one.

He hates to have his diaper changed. He's pretty much hated it his entire life. He protests diaper changes about 7 out of 10 changes. He almost always cries, at least. Sometimes he kicks and writhes. I hold his legs and tell him No. Distraction does not work. I have at least 24 toys and gizmos nearby, but he either throws them or drops them into the business end or just won't take them in the first place.

He hates to be confined. There are some times he really just has to be confined in a play yard - the big grey kind that makes a large octagon. He cries and fumes. Sometimes, he simply has to cry and fume. :duck I hate to send punitive in that way, but I do need to get a shower.

He's aggravating over food. He want the specific food he wants right this second. If it's the wrong food, he wails, writhes in the chair and "sweeps" any offered food off the tray. If I get him down anyway, he's miserable because (I think) he's hungry. I'm loathe to become a mother who tries 40 foods to find the "magic" food that will make him happy, but - what can I do? There is offer one food and get him down when he refuses, knowing he will be miserable until he eventually does eat or offer several foods to get the one that makes him happy. What's more, he doesn't tolerate dairy or soy, so some of the foods he's pitching a fit over I can't give him regardless.

I really do believe that there is an "upside" to his decisive, persistant, ambitious ways :/, but it would also be nice if I didn't feel like it's a constant fiasco to accomplish the most simple tasks. How do you cope with a child who never seems to "get it" that some things have to be this way? :shrug I mean, I've been changing his diaper every day since birth, but he has yet to accept that his diaper will be changed.

[Beauty4Ashes]

I wish that I had some good advice for you. Our ds would go through phases where he wouldn't eat in the high chair. Dh discovered that if he put him on a kitchen countertop, he would be distracted by the cooking spoons and would eat almost anything. Now, that's probably not what you want to hear. I am struggling to get him to sit in the high chair for all meals because at dinner time, dh will let him sit on his lap or do whatever, just to have a peaceful dinner. It completely undermines my efforts to get him to sit still and eat at dinner. Something that I am going to try is feed my son every 99 minutes a small snack or a meal. That way he won't be so famished and just might eat peacefully. Like I said, try distraction with spoons or measuring cups. He might become so absorbed in playing with those things that you can pop bits of food into his mouth. The other thing I would do is give him pieces of fruit or cheese or bread when I would take him out in the stroller to shop or to walk. He'd end up having something nutritious and a decent amount of food too, without realising it.
Tammy

[MarynMunchkins]

:giggle Sounds normal to me. ;)

As far as food, I let them pick what he wants. There's a variety of acceptable snacks, and even at 14 months, kids can point to one. :)

I shower at night so I don't have to listen to the screaming. ;) But just because he's screaming doesn't mean it's bad. He can complain for the 10 minutes it takes to shower.

Acting like a complete idiot during diaper changes helps. :P Singing ridculous songs, putting a toy on my head, sticking my arm through his pants while they're off...that kind of thing. ;)

[mommy2abigail]

:hugheart I know how you feel! DD is only 11 months and she's headed that way. She hates diaper changes too. She screams like a banshee when she doesn't get her way. She bites me (yikes!) when I hold her and she wants something else. I just try to remember it wont last forever, and that this behavior is not an indication of how she will act later, yk? I also try to see life from her point of view, like thinking how hard it must be to constantly be learning things that are totally new (crawling, walking, running, ect.) and not being able to communicate very well, constantly being redirected away from things I want, not understanding why I can't do certain things (like eat toilet paper!). It's a frustrating time for them too. When I am frustrated, I try to step back from the situation, so that I can think clearly (it's hard to remember how frustrated they are when they are driving you crazy!) I really have to constantly remind myself that she is not doing these things on purpose.

[Mama Rophe]

I'm not sure who on here suggested this to someone else having probs with diaper changes. Thanks to whoever it was. She suggested letting the dc decide where they want a diaper change. The diaper change will happen they just decide where not when. My ds hates change time. Sometimes this works and others it doesn't. Sometimes acting like a complete idiot works sometimes it doesn't. Just hang in there mama.

[catholicapmom]

Oh, Bethany (17 mos) is the same way. The only thing that gives me hope is to know that she's acting like this because she doesn't know any other way of communicating and that this will pass soon enough. :hug2

[ArmsOfLove]

Ahhhh isn't this stage fun ;) A few tips as I've btdt with the persistent ones a few times ;)

pick your battles
let the little things go
make your goal learning to listen to her and meet her needs rather than getting her to stop being persistent--being persistent is a good quality it just needs to be tempered (and there's time for that :) )
child proof--if something is really non-negotiable prove it by making it a non-issue

and make sure she's getting plenty of sleep! :tu