how do I deal with lying

[dylansmom]

There is a precious third grade girl who always seems to be in trouble. There is a lot going on - she and her brothers live here in the Dominican Republic with their grandparents while her mom (don't know about dad) lives in New York. She has had some problems with lying. But, today, she used my name in a lie to her teacher. She said "Miss ____ said we could go to the bathroom." How would you handle the situation if it was one of your kids?

Thanks.

[mom2threePKs]

Did you actually hear her say that or did another teacher report it to you. If I knew this child had difficulty with truth and I heard her say something that was untrue, I would step in very quickly and say, "No, I didn't. I said __________." Or "No I didn't say you could go to the bathroom. You need to ___________" I think i would avoid assigning negative intent and just correct her very quickly hoping to make her see that she will get caught if she tells a lie. Then I might talk to her about truth and untruth at a later time andhow very important honesty and trust are. I would avoid anything shming or blaming in the initial exchange though.

Magan