Ack! Pushing...what do I do?

[Cutie Patootie]

Okay, I know this is just a phase for ds(2.5), but I am just at a loss about how to react when it happens. A few times a week ds will run over to "just learned how to sit" dd and push her over. :( Yesterday we were visiting my midwife and her dh. Dd who wasn't feeling so great anyway, was finally happily sitting on the floor playing with blocks when ds races up and shoves her on her back hard. She fell forward and hit her face on a lego, broke open the skin and now has a black eye. She was heartbroken...so was I. :cry2 Ds ran away and hid his face. I didn't say anything to him about it at all when it happened. On the way home he kept asking, "Baby happy mama?". I know he felt badly because he hurt her. I talked to him about it later that evening. I just don't know what to do or say when it happens. I don't want to tell him, "he made the baby sad" because I don't want him to have the weight of being responsible for others feelings, but how do I tell him without doing that? Plus, it makes me soooooooooooo super angry. My mama bear protector comes out and wants to scream at the top of her lungs, "DON'T HURT MY SWEET BABY!!!". I think that is why I didn't say anything to him when it happened. Ugh, help. :crazy2

[milkmommy]

I don't want to tell him, "he made the baby sad" because I don't want him to have the weight of being responsible for others feelings, but how do I tell him without doing that?
Personally I would point out very clearly that his pushing HURTS the baby, I'd have him make ammends appropiate to his age, like make an ice pack for the baby and help him choose an appropiate game to play with her. Maybe make a "get better" card for her.

Deanna

[Cindy]

When my kids have done something (either intentionally, or accidentally) that have hurt another I have been known to tell them to look at the other child and gently point out how their actions have affected him/her. "Look at her face, she doesn't look happy, does she? She doesn't like what you did. Maybe you should tell her you are sorry... give her a hug... (make amends in an appropriate way...)" I don't think little kids realise how their actions affect others. When I have done this (with Sarah at least) It does stop her and make her think about what she has done. Kids do need to learn to be sensitive to others and I think this is one way of teaching them.

[ArmsOfLove]

he's playing with *his* sister the way he'd play with other children his age. I would take time with them both to teach him how to play with someone her age and help him understand that she has to be played with differently. He sounds like he's trying to have fun with her and doesn't know how. Oh--and supervise when they're down together :tu