"you hit, you sit"

[BeckaBlue]

I've got problems doing this. I can't figure it out non-punitevly. ds hits. I tell im 'hitting hurts, we need to touch gentle, you can hit the flooor, couch, (whatever's reasonable at the time) or you can give mommy 5's on the hand" I tried the hit you sit, but as i mentioned, i can't figure it out. I sit him down, he screams and gets up. should i just walk away everytime? but then he gets up and runs after me. i would hold him in the chair, that went nowhere FAST because he'd just turn to rage and really couldnt control himself then. If i'm holding him ill turn him around so hes facing out, sometimes hold his hands down with a bear hug, but that's not always helpful for him either :shrug I don't have any other ideas. *usually* what i say to him helps, hell either go hitting somewhere else or he'll give me 5's, but it's not always successful :scratch

[Joanne]

Drop the "sit" part. Drop the idea. If it's not working for you, do something else.

Try, instead, to think of it this way. If you hit, you have chosen not to play at the moment. If you hit, you have made the choice to be removed from play while mom helps teach you how to conduct yourself without hitting. If you hit me, I must remove myself for safety.

[BeckaBlue]

I have basically dropped it, it hasnt worked after a couple tries, we gave it up.
mostly I guess im trying to find other ways to deal with it when what usually does work, doesnt.
if i go away, he will come after me, more upset than before. If i'm somewhere he can't find me, he'll go after the girls instead.
short of locking him into a seat i'm lost to keeping me *and* my other kids out of 'the line of fire' while keeping him safe from himself too :/

[wombmate3]

Oh my, this was my ds at 2-3. When he would hit I would take him to his room and the tantrum would begin. The ONLY thing that worked for me was the bear hug. I would sit on the bed with him facing out, on my lap. I would then wrap my arms and legs around him and hold him tight while either not talking or humming quietly. When he would break with screaming, I would very quietly remind him to take deep breaths and calm down. I would sometimes blow on the back of his neck or rock him, depending on how bad of a situation we were in. It was a horrible time to go through. Once he was calm enough to talk, we would talk about not hitting. Honestly, for us, it was a phase and he eventually just grew to a place where he was able to control himself. I taught him how to deal with his big feelings and when he was big enough, he did. He still occationally freaks out and hits me, but it doesn't take me much "Gabe, take some deep breaths and when you are calmer I will talk to you about this" to get him to stop.
:hugheart
It's so hard! :pray for you!