spinoff my own "chicken" thread

[Heather Micaela]

I want to make it clear that my mom does NOT spank my kids and has only done it once 3 years ago. We have a close relationship and talk about most everything. However, I am aware that there are certain subjects that will cause her to needlessly get offended.

It was suggested that I tell her we no longer spank and make sure it is clear that she is not to spank them either. Since the spanking is ongoing (and she may not even remember that she did it) - is it REALLY necessary to bring up? And if I do, how do I do it in a way that doesn't sound like I'm condeming her or that I just joined the looney bin.

I imagine her reacting the same as if I came up to her out of the blue and said "Now mom, I just want to make it clear that my kids may not watch R rated movies." Since she doesn't let them she'd be like :scratch :shrug. And probably be offended that I suggest she does.

My mom is a very patient person and just becuase she spanked me as a toddler doesn't mean that she will spank my kids. I am almost thinking of waiting till baby #3 enters the age she deems spanking appropriate and then braoch the issue.

Any suggestions?

[ArmsOfLove]

I think that you are right about not bringing it up like that--no reason to offend or put her off. You may want to consider sharing what you're learning and the boundaries you have set from your perspective, "We're finding ourselves totally committed to not spanking and really getting excited about how we're learning to discipline without it. Let me know if you run into anything that you want ideas for." Or something like that--just to keep an open dialogue. :shrug

[Heather Micaela]

Thanks :) now I have to figure out how to bring it up in conversation.

[Tulip_Plus_3]

Somehow bring any given conversation around to the subject of fellowship with other Christian women. Once you're there you can bring up this AWESOME on-line group of women who are Christians you are involved with, and that the common thread we all share is our parenting style. Once the whole style thing is broached you can touch on the highlights of it, including non-spanking.

But really the whole conversation is about fellowship with other Christian women, okay? ;)

[Amber]

Like Tulip Plus 3 suggested I used GCM as a segway for telling my mom that I was going to be using gentle discipline with my dc. I was nervous about it at first, but it turned out to be really easy in my case...and after checking out GCM and some of the resources on Crystal's website my mom became a "convert" to gentle discipline too.