kids and tv

[positivemom]

My kids watch way too much tv....I am going to admit it..they watch hours of tv everyday....they don't watch bad stuff and we aren't neglectful, but I am ashamed to admit that i would not know how to operate if we threw out the tv....I wouldn't know what to do with myself, how to ever get a shower, how to get a meal on the table...what to kids DO all day if they don't watch tv at least some portion of the day....my kids do not play well together at all....I turn on the tv to get some peace.....I need some counsel..anyone relate to this?

[Aerynne]

Here's a link to another thread on the same topic:

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=26793.0

:hug2

It's hard at first to break the habit, but there are tons of other things to do. Recently we've discovered the fun of playing with a big pan of dry rice (or use beans) with cups and rocks. We put it on a big blanket to control spills. Though some ends up off the blanket, I'll be happy to vacuum for 2 minutes for 45 minutes of peace. :) We've also had a lot of fun with playdough lately. I let Emily stick buttons in it and we've made playdough snowmen.

It's an adjustment for both mom and kids.

[Singingmom]

How old are your dc?

[milkmommy]

I posted on this recently.. For us the problem wasn't the TV the problem was me. I had to just say I need to stop making excuses. OSme kids cannot handle TV at all and totally turning it off is best we actually found we can ultilize a little bit of TV for everyone and its benificial to our lifestyle. (no not a necessity but not a crime eaither KWIM?) We get extended cable free through our apartment and we sprung the exta $12.00 to add on a DVR which allows me to select a few pre approved shows for DD and allows DH and I to record the few shows we want to watch but now we can do so when its convient and not try to say "Go to bed because daddy wants to watch CSI" :blush
We found keeping TV time to the same time keeps it as something to help transation something to be special but something that she knows will end. Before I'd often just keep putting on more and more and whats bad the more I had it on the more melt downs we had. She soon got so used to it being on shes whin from diffrent rooms if she couldn't "hear" her shows :rolleyes.
Now she gets to see basically three things a day. I'm a total night owl so I'm blessed with a DH who gets Cecilia up changes her and gives her breakfast he allows her to see something while she eats her breakfast. (ussually diego) and because hes doing me a huge service I wont argue it. After that it goes off Cecilia helps me do some stuff around the house we read we play outside ect and she goes to school from 10:45am-1pm when she gets home shes given a snack and I let her watch one show (it ussually puts her to sleep) She naps gets up about 3:30-4pm we play games play outside do art shes plays in her room or with the toys in the living room daddy comes home and entertains her while I do dinner, after dinner she gets her PJS bath and teeth and we allow one more show (unless shes had a loong day we go ahead and put her to bed) then its books and bed. We have a special movie night snuggles every other Thurdsay evening (payday). Once we wet from dozens of shows for her to really seeing what she likes it turned out she only likes three shows Dora , Diego, and Lazy Town :shrug So thats what we record for her and we delete it once shes done so were not tempted to use it as a sitter. DH and I also realized we do a lot of watching because its "on" so we too made a pact to only see the shows we really wanted to see, We've also cut wayyyy back once we did this, after all its not fair to tell her she can ONLY watch this amount if were watching tons more. Yes were adults some rules are diffrent but we were being totally unfair.
Things have been 100x's better since we started our new system it actualy wan't nearly as hard as I thought it qould be eaither

Deanna

[positivemom]

singingmom, I have four active boys...age almost 8, almost 6, 4.5 , and 2.5...I feel quite swamped most days with just finding something for them to do and keeping them from fighting and becoming negative. I feel like my ideal would be very limited tv but it just isn't happening. It seems that if I want to just accomplish basic things throughout a day, like a small bit of hygiene for me and cooking dinner then I have to flip on the tube. I sometimes feel revved up to kind of shepherd my darlings all day and move from one thing to the next with them and keep them with me and active on something productive but usually this turns into negative dynamics between the boys or the two year old pulling on me for my undivided attention and being excessively clingy and loud and then I just throw my hands up and turn on the tv. this is why I put my two older boys in school for the first time this fall. I used to homeschool and it just wasn't working at all. Nothing got done because it was just too hard. Not sure what is wrong here but something is. And, I am sick of using the tv as a babysitter but I just don't know what else to do. BTW this is all coming up due to Thanksgiving vacation. it has been hard to have the boys at home. That sounds horrid but it is true. And I so love my boys and want to feel different. Sometimes i think it is because I house is soooooo tiny...we live in less than 1000 square feet of living space. I think the boys need more space to actually play and get along. I dunno, maybe that wouldn't help anything....

[Mamatoto]

There are consequences to watching TV that we may not even see immediately in children's brains. They are often in a worst mood (adults, too) after watching TV for awhile because their brains and bodies are in an unnatural state that whole time. It gets people used to having a connection with a machine rather than another person.

If you can post specific times, maybe we could offer suggestions.

I put our daily calendar up on Word, printed it out, took it to Staples, blew it up, laminated it and hung it up. The daily rhythm of our home is now plain and clear on the wall and the TV is only on for 1/2 an hour of Reading Rainbow at snacktime. There is no power struggle over it because it is not on the schedule and dd always has something to do...and part of that something to do might be being bored and having to think of something to do in her imagination. :think :scratch

[Singingmom]

I think a schedule/routine would be a good idea. If you make new rules about which shows or times they can watch, you can expect whining and arguing and probably even crying for a few days/weeks before they realize they aren't changing your mind and this is how it is. A routine will help cut down on some of that because they'll know what's coming. They can look at the chart and see that the tv doesn't come on til after xxx, except for the 2 yo who may need active redirection when he's wanting it on.

As far as what to do, you may need to give the older ones a shove to get them outside to play. I can't figure out why, but most days I have to make mine get out and play. Are their toys organized in an appealing way so they can find things? Do they have building toys and art supplies? Do you have a recipe for play doh?

I find that after a morning of helping me clean the house, my boys are more than happy to be set free to play with toys, and they get along better, too. Make sure they have real work to do. If you haven't already, explain that they are all part of the family and that's why they all get to help. It may take you longer to clean with their help, but at least they're busy and learning how to help. They may need more responsibility with things like laundry to keep busy, bringing you hampers, folding and putting their clothes away, even emptying the washer into the dryer.

I have a tiny house, too. We all get on each other's nerves more because we're always together in this small space. As part of your routine, give them time to themselves in different rooms to look at books or other quiet things each day.

Just some ideas. I've got to go...

[positivemom]

all good ideas...although I will admit, nothing that I haven't tried, guess I am just in a slump right now and need a boost....I will read the ideas again, and start with one thing to implement today...maybe I will go from there with some success..