What book has moved your husband? **added more background info**

[bluedotsmom]

My husband needs help & he is open to books. Long story, I am back at work FT as of 6/27 so he is home with 7, 6 and 2 yo (supposed to be homeschooling, but egad!!!!! that would mean he has to DO something.) I know it is incredibly hard for him, but it is worse for my kids.

He needs some practical info about gentle discipline. I was thinking about Heartfelt Discipline.

Any other suggestions?

[Mia]

Gosh, I'd just be satisfied if Dh READ parenting books :giggle What usually happens is - if I think it's a good book - he wants me to read it and give him a "synopsis" of their points... but then, (I guess because of my inability to articulately reconstruct points made) he starts arguing with me (them) and I'm just like :shrug. :banghead

:popcorn

[Bonnie]

Gosh, I'd just be satisfied if Dh READ parenting books :giggle What usually happens is - if I think it's a good book - he wants me to read it and give him a "synopsis" of their points... but then, (I guess because of my inability to articulately reconstruct points made) he starts arguing with me (them) and I'm just like :shrug. :banghead

:popcorn


Will he do books on tape?

[Mia]

Gosh, I'd just be satisfied if Dh READ parenting books :giggle What usually happens is - if I think it's a good book - he wants me to read it and give him a "synopsis" of their points... but then, (I guess because of my inability to articulately reconstruct points made) he starts arguing with me (them) and I'm just like :shrug. :banghead

:popcorn


Will he do books on tape?


Yes! (And, I, personally, couldn't live without them... they make my housework "tolerable"!) But we really can't justify purchasing them, so unless the library has a copy (or will get one for us) we're outta luck!

[jujubnme]

Hmmm... My dh doesn't really read parenting books either, but he's naturally pretty gentle and great with kids. I'm thinking, though, that Playful Parenting, by Lawrence Cohen might be a good one for dads. A lot of dads naturally want to bond with their kids through play, but don't quite know how to bridge between play and discipline or just don't know how to get started. This book would help with that.

[bluedotsmom]

Thanks for the input so far...I should probably give a litte more background. DH and I have been married almost 10 yrs and always knew that if we had children, daycare was not for us. dh is a professional musician and I was working for an insurance company. Fast forward and I'm preggo with dd1. For me to stay home, dh would have had to go on the road and would probably be gone 360 days a year, we'd have the money but dd would have no daddy. So, I go back to work and dh stays home.

dd1 was a very easy-going baby (she nursed like a champ, did great with pumped milk when I went back to work, slept super with us, …) and they had a great routine. When dd1 was 6 months old, I got pregnant with dd2. dd2 was born…can you say…SPIRITED!? She refused any bottles and basically just waited until I got home to nurse. My favorite line: Pedi asks how often she’s nursing (at 4 month visit) dh pipes up, “She only nurses once…from the time Anne gets home from work until she goes to work the next morning!” Tougher on my husband, but they get through it. Both dd’s are very easy from a discipline stand-point, we really all just worked things out together.

Fast forward to 2002, dd’s are 4 & 3. DS is born at home, all 10 spirited pounds of him. We had always talked about me staying home if we had a 3rd & my dh had started building up his teaching business, but I had even bought a new breast pump. Then we decided, I can’t go back to work. So, I try to learn how to be a sahm while dd2 is potty-training, I have jumbo baby latched on all the time and dh thinks he needs to spend hours on the computer. It wasn’t a pretty sight and it really took me almost two years to make the adjustment. I was semi-unschooling my girls, ds was always with me. They helped doing things around the house, we read, we talked…I wasn’t June Cleaver, but it was our life.

Another change, dh says I need to go back to work. I was blessed to be able to return to a position that supports the job I had before. So it’s the same company, good benefits, etc…but, I’m gone from home 11 hours a day and dh literally walks out the door to teach as I walk in. Forgive me, but it sucks! Dh doesn’t want to be involved, he wants it like it was almost 3 years ago when it was him and two little girls. He doesn’t spank, but he is too physical with ds and it’s not working with the girls either.

So, long story made endless…that’s why I was wondering about Heartfelt Discipline. I thought it might talk to him about why he’s a father, what it means and that his children aren’t just irritating distractions, but blessings. I think he needs spiritual information and practical advice.

So, any more input? And thank you so much for prayers and talking time to read this!

[Mia]

:pray :hug2