Jealous of regular co-sleepers

[TraceMama]

Ds was really sick last week with the croup. The only way to get him to sleep through the night was to pull him beside me on the bed. One night we also slept side by side on his floor. Ds has used his crib since he was a baby --- didn't understand the benefits of co-sleeping then, was just learning about AP, only have a double-bed, etc. Since doing this, though, I so totally understand why so many of you co-sleep. What a precious few nights I had with him by my side! If he weren't two already, I might start co-sleeping with him now. Has anyone done this, by the way?!

[milkmommy]

We did some form of cosleeping untill my DD self weaned at around 22 months but illiness or the occasional off night will bring us back to cosleeping and I cosleep with her on her twin bed during these times nice and snuggly :lol Sometimes its mommy who decides. Like I saw life times human trafficking and it sent total chills through me and umm yea I crawled in with my DD that night :eek

Deanna

[herbalwriter]

Like I saw life times human trafficking and it sent total chills through me and umm yea I crawled in with my DD that night :eek

This is so sweet - I know what you mean; sometimes I initiate nursing with ds when I need teh comfort! :)

What's life times human trafficking?

[milkmommy]

What's life times human trafficking?


http://www.lifetimetv.com/movies/originals/humantrafficking.html

Deanna

[herbalwriter]

...couldn't download it ... but that's okay. :) I dont' have cable so this stuff is lost on me.

[milkmommy]

...couldn't download it ... but that's okay. :) I dont' have cable so this stuff is lost on me.

Its basically a movie profiling modern day Slavery including that of children being taken and sold. :cry Living in a border city this is actually a real issue to be concerned about :jawdrop

deanna

[herbalwriter]

Oh, how horrible! no wonder you freaked out. :eek

[BornFreeBaby]

My dd was considered a "good" sleeper since birth, and at the time I was following a CIO book, so dd was used to being in her crib and sleeping there.
If she woke up, it would only take a few minutes of crying and she would fall asleep. But then when she turned 1 year, she was just starting to get her teeth, and she was no longer a good sleeper. She woke up 3-4 times and I would drag myself out of bed each time. The books said to let her cry. She would scream for an hour if I let her. CIO wasn't working and I felt horrible about it, so I began to look for other info. I came across Dr. sears, and other AP websites, and I finally stopped questioning myself. I started listening to my gut instincts. I stopped letting her cry, and I began to comfort her and take her to our bed without feeling guilty about it. She began to sleep thru the night because when she would wake, she would see I was right there, feel comfortable, and fall back asleep.

My advice is, it doesn't matter what age you start being AP or start co-sleeping. what matters is that you are following your instincts and giving your dc what they need. That could also mean sleeping separately if that's what's working for your family.

[MamaKanga]

At 3yrs, my DS sleeps with us more now than he did as a baby.

I never slept well with him. I couldn't get into a deep sleep and I desperately needed rest, so he went in his crib. Then when I got pg and was bedridden from illness, he started coming into our room crying in the night, needing me. I prayed that God would change him or change me. I knew DS needed me, but I needed sleep. Guess what? God changed me! It was remarkable. I now sleep with him with no problems. I sleep deeply and enjoy the extra cuddling.

My advice is to go for it, if your DS wants it. Be open to letting him decide. :)

[MagnoliaMommy]

How sweet! :) You can totally cosleep with your 2 yo! We coslept from the beginning, but it was actually between the ages of 2 and 3 that ds really needed that closeness even more. Now that he is almost 4 he prefers to sleep in his own bed. And I really miss him sometimes. ;)
I think it is great that you are open to having your ds in your bed...just follow his cues and let him decide where he wants to sleep. :)

[herbalwriter]

THese are some beautiful stories - every now and then, in a CIO society, it's good to hear these things. :heart

[ArmsOfLove]

my parents started a Family Bed when I was older than 2 :tu

[herbalwriter]

This is off subject, but I love your picture ArmsofLove!

[ArmsOfLove]

thanks :)

[Lantern Light Mama]

My parents co-slept with me too as a kid. I remember holding my moms arm until I fell asleep. :heart

My DS though is a wild nutzo sleeper. Everytime I have ever coslept with him he ends up with his feet on my head! But whenever hes sick hell snuggle up with us and sometimes I wish hed do it more. He just likes his own bed. :shrug

Two isnt too late to start!

[Mother Duck]

We (or should I say dh started us) co-sleeping when DD#1 was 3.5y DD#2 2y and DD#3 a new born :hearts I so wish we had followed our gut from the start but :shrug thems the breaks!

[Wholly Mama]

In The Continuum Concept, Jean Liedloff actually recommends spending time co-sleeping with older children if they did not get that need filled as babies. Let them snuggle next to you until they feel ready to move on. :cosleep

[TraceMama]

Thanks for the replies to my question. Since I'm a WOHM for this year, DS has had trouble sleeping and has needed me 3-4 times a night. He asks to come into our bed when he wakes in the morning and if I have time, I'll snuggle with him. As soon as I'm up getting ready, though, he needs to be right beside me. I've basically decided that if he needs to sleep with me to get that extra snuggle time, then so be it. My dh, though, is concerned that if we start it now we'll never be able to move him out of our bed. Any suggestions for dealing with dh?

Thanks

[BornFreeBaby]

That's hard when your dh isn't on board. Try to explain to him that since you are away from your ds working all day, he needs the time to reconnect with you at night. If you deny him from that, then he may struggle with insecurity in other areas later on. When he's ready to move out of your bed, he will. (I always joke to dh- when he's in high school, he won't want to come into our bed anymore!)

Your dh's comment of "never getting them out of your bed" is the typical mainstream response to co-sleeping. It takes a bit of a paradigm shift away from that to realize that many many parents around the world have a family bed and go on to raise strong and indepedent children. Its true of many cultures like the native americans, asian, and especially african cultures who wear their babies and co-sleep for years. Its only in our culture that so-called 'experts' try to shake their fingers at you and make you think your doing something wrong. I would give him some info from the books recommended here if it becomes a problem.

With my dh, he just didn't like our dd *right* inbetween us- he wanted his wife next to him. So I put dd on the other side of us with a toddler bed pushed up next to our bed, so I can transition her into it after she falls asleep. If in the middle of the night, she wants to climb up beside me, then that's fine with me. I think it helps dh to have the toddler bed next to ours, so in his mind, he can say- see that's HER bed, and this is ours- even if we end up sleeping in the same bed all night. :)

[AttachedMamma]

I can understand your DH's fear about starting now. He's probably thinking, "We've already got him out of our bed, why would we want to introduce this habit?" Getting him on board is important.

My guess would be that if your DS has this need to be closer to you, you'll have to fill it in some way. Maybe spending more time with him might be an alternative. Maybe just cuddling with him in the morning for a while might give him what he needs. Every child is different and you know your child best. I know this for a fact, though: "A need fulfilled goes away; a need not fulfilled never goes away." It'll manifest itself as something else.

cindi

[herbalwriter]

"A need fulfilled goes away; a need not fulfilled never goes away." It'll manifest itself as something else.

:amen
If only more people understood this!!

[Bonnie]

"A need fulfilled goes away; a need not fulfilled never goes away." It'll manifest itself as something else.


When I read that in a Dr. Sears book, I knew I had found my philosophy.

[Sara]

We did not start co-sleeping full-time with our first until she was about 14 months old. Up until that point, we were kind of doing AP, but I still had a lot of Ezzo, What to Expect, and Ferber baggage that I just couldn't seem to shake. Once I moved past that, we never looked back and there are still many nights when all 4 of us are piled in bed together, although my 7yo does sleep on her own more often that not.

I have such precious memories of this time and it went by so incredibly fast - I can't even tell you how fast - that I have absolutely no regrets at all!

[herbalwriter]

Sara, that is so wonderful. :heart

Bonnie, same here - only I saw that bit about needs being met in Sheila Kippley's book on ecological bf. :-)

[Bonnie]

What's that book? :grin