Changing Diaper in the nursery...

[Close2MyHeart]

Not sure if where to put this....

If your child is in the church nursery do you think it's ok for the nursery worker to change him/her??

I specifically requested that Karah not be changed & that I be notified if she needed a change and if NJ needed to go potty when I left the kids in the church nursery this past Sunday. When we got home I changed Karah's diaper only to find she was wearing a Pampers diaper. We don't use those... only Luvs or Huggies. I was a bit annoyed. Do I have a right to be annoyed?? Should I say anything or just leave it alone? (This is a fairly new church... only been there 3 times so far.) :shrug

[BeckaBlue]

well if youd told them not to, then id be upset too

I dont mind them changing though

[Aerynne]

I'd be upset if I requested that. Possible, though, that they forgot. Next time, write on the diaper with a permanent marker "Don't change me, please. Tell my Mama if I need a change."

[kris10s]

Our nursery has an "only change if dirty" policy, which I like. They change poopies and soggy, soogy wet dipes. They usually don't bother with Kate at all, since she's in a fitted diaper and a wool and it's harder to check! On Sunday's she's usually only in there for 45 minutes during SS, then out for 30, then in again for 25 or so for the sermon, so I prefer it that way. Tuesday Women's Bible Study lasts TWO hours so I do like them to check. They know I have sposies in the bottom of the bag for them to use, but they usually wait for me if its close (which, again, I prefer.)

[Sara]

Oh, I like Erin's idea! :tu

I would be upset if I had asked them not to change her. It could be that they forgot. But it is probably worth mentioning.

I am one of those people who isn't comfortable having strangers change my little ones.

[milkmommy]

Well personally I won't leave my child in a place I'm not comfortable with her being changed and get upset if I find out they don't. But if they agreed to get you and that makes you more comfortable then yes you have a right to be upset.. Though and just courios since nurseries are forigen to me but how do they get you?

Deanna

[snlmama]

I'm like Deanna. I wouldn't leave my baby with someone if I wasn't comfortable w/ that person changing him. :/ Although I do see the point w/ cloth diapers. :think

Deanna, how they get you depends on the church. Our church has a pager system and they give every parent a vibrating pager so they can just page you if you are needed. They also have you sign in w/ where you are going just in case the pager doesn't work (or a parent ignores it). Before we had pagers, a worker would go get the parent. My sil's church they give every child a number and if you are needed they flash your child's number up on a screen in the service. Not sure what they do during Sunday School, I guess go get you.

[Mama Calidad]

Well personally I won't leave my child in a place I'm not comfortable with her being changed and get upset if I find out they don't. But if they agreed to get you and that makes you more comfortable then yes you have a right to be upset.
I agree.

[milkmommy]

I'm like Deanna. I wouldn't leave my baby with someone if I wasn't comfortable w/ that person changing him. :/ Although I do see the point w/ cloth diapers. :think

Deanna, how they get you depends on the church. Our church has a pager system and they give every parent a vibrating pager so they can just page you if you are needed. They also have you sign in w/ where you are going just in case the pager doesn't work (or a parent ignores it). Before we had pagers, a worker would go get the parent. My sil's church they give every child a number and if you are needed they flash your child's number up on a screen in the service. Not sure what they do during Sunday School, I guess go get you.


Ahh thanks for the information I've always been courious.. was there possibly a chance they had trouble reaching you? Reminding them about your prefrence is a good idea, and if they agreed they should follow through..

Deanna

[Cherish]

my church nursery wont change cloth diapers, so I dont have to worry about anyone changing mine! They have to come get me.

[cheri]

Well, I'm with everyone else in that I wouldn't leave a baby with someone I didn't trust to change her. If you aren't comfortable with them changing her, then I don't think you should leave her in the nursery.

Maybe they forgot. Did she have a poopy diaper? I'll be honest and say that if I was in the nursery and had a 2 year old there with a stinky diaper, I'd be pretty frustrated that I'd have to spend the entire hour smelling it because the parent said she didn't want us to change the diaper. Even urine diapers can stink or leak.

I think they should honor your request, but I also think it's unfair to have them leave her in a dirty diaper, especially if they have to smell it.

[milkmommy]

my church nursery wont change cloth diapers, so I dont have to worry about anyone changing mine! They have to come get me.


I worried about this with my DD preschool I know shes only there two hours but I really didn't want to send her in sposies nor do I want her sitting in a messy diaper (I won't be around to change her eaither).. However since its a special education program they actually deal with kids who may never PT (not in her class but with in the program) or at least wont for many years still so lots of parents use cloth I was quite pleased when the only request was for no pins :tu

Deanna

[milkmommy]

but I also think it's unfair to have them leave her in a dirty diaper, especially if they have to smell it.
I can understand ans think more along these lines but.. if they argreed not to change as "strange" as I find it its something they agreed to and its unfair for them to then change there minds. I'd just make sure of there intention maybe they forgot I know when I did daycare work we just started changing babies :giggle really little notice on who we had, or maybe she was messy and couldn't get a hold of the parents.

Deanna

[MagnoliaMommy]

Hmm...was there more than one nursery worker? In our nursery, we usually have 3 or 4 on a Sunday morning. Maybe it wasn't communicated to everyone. :shrug

[GodChick]

wow, that's a new one to me. i've never heard of requesting not to change a diaper--i didn't even know it was an option. my dds (and dd1 when she was in dipes, for that matter) doesn't like strangers changing her dipe, and that's a big part of the reason i don't leave her in the nursery.

[Close2MyHeart]

I think they should honor your request, but I also think it's unfair to have them leave her in a dirty diaper, especially if they have to smell it.


Umm, I dont' see why they would have to leave her in a dirty diaper. All they would have to do is punch in a number on their little computer thingy & it would show up in the sancutary... Id' see it and go down to her. As for the nursery workers not knowing I didn't want her changed, that's possible... but it's written right on the sign in sheet that they are supposed to check before doing anything to or giving anything to a child. :shrug

I'm over-emotional lately but now I feel like a horrible parent for leaving my child in the nursery since I didn't want them changing her. :/ Just add that to the list... :rolleyes

[Close2MyHeart]

wow, that's a new one to me. i've never heard of requesting not to change a diaper--i didn't even know it was an option. my dds (and dd1 when she was in dipes, for that matter) doesn't like strangers changing her dipe, and that's a big part of the reason i don't leave her in the nursery.


Actually they have a question on their sign-in sheet as to whether or not the workers are allowed to change your child or bring them to the potty. I said 'no ~ notify me asap'.

[milkmommy]

Your not a horrible parent you made an aggrement with the workers and they aggreed to it,no reason to feel guilty over that. I'd just talk to them again and let them know again how you feel. :hugheart

Deanna

[ChristmasGirl]

(((hugs)))

I personally think it is *not* unreasonable to ask them to page you for those things. They are there to minister to both you and your child, and most nurseries would be willing to accomodate the parents wishes. It seems like they gave you a choice, but then either forgot or didn't abide by it. It may have been, like someone else mentioned, that somehow a worker was not aware of this. Either way, I think you have every right to bring this to their attention and make sure they address this issue. Perhaps they need a better system of checks and balances. Our toddler room is quite busy, so we make both diaper changing lists and potty training lists. The supervisor who checks in the children makes sure to put the children on the appropriate lists, with any comments necessary. (We record the time and nature of a diaper change, record when the child potties and if they just tried, went or refused) We also write PT on their nametags if they are potty training, and also place a round potty training sticker on their back. This way, if a child says they have to go potty, but have neither a sticker or any PT on their name tag, i make sure to check with other supervisors as to what the parent said regarding their child. Mistakes happen, but less often when there is good communication and some sort of check/balances.

Proactive things on your part would be to write on her diaper like already suggested "do not change me, page my mom" or something like that. Also, ask if they have stickers to place on her back as a reminder to not change. We have allergy stickers and the potty stickers i mentioned. OR perhaps if they use any sort of name tags, request that they make a note on the name tag.

I hope this helps. I personally let nursery workers change my son's diapers, but I work 20hours/week with these women in this nursery so i know them all, and i am most of the time right there. I totally respect those moms that don't feel comfortable...everyone has different levels of comfort with these issues. :hug2

[GodChick]

Actually they have a question on their sign-in sheet as to whether or not the workers are allowed to change your child or bring them to the potty. I said 'no ~ notify me asap'.

that is awsome! i think maybe i should suggest something like that at our church. i'm sure i'm not the only one there whose kids don't like being changed by strangers. i might be more likely to use the nursery if i could be notified if she needs changing. they don't have the little pagers, but if they have enough workers maybe someone could come get me. :tu

[Irene]

(((((((becca))))))))) I was feeling the same way reading this thread. But I would let someone watch my child play for 30 minutes, but not change his diaper. :shifty I dont think Im a bad parent cuz of that, or you either :hug

Our church has a policy of no changing, you have to call the parents.. so I dont think what you said was over the top :shrug we have a sign in sheet and we write allergy instructions on it and stuff :) we arent as fancy as the computers ;) they usually have teen helpers and the helper will come up and get the parent :)

I have been a nursery helper and while I smelled icky diapers it wasnt that big of deal to get the parent. Most of them showed up with clean diapers anyway and so smelling it wasnt even a problem :)

[Sara]

But I would let someone watch my child play for 30 minutes, but not change his diaper.

Yeah, I agree that there is a BIG difference between the two. I can definitely see how someone can be comfortable with one, but not with the other.

[jmh1013]

Our church is relatively small (100 people). I keep nursery every sunday school. We check with the parents. We have several that we change or take to the potty. We also have several parents who take their children to the potty/or change them and then tell us they will be back after they sunday school hour to take them again/or change them. It just depends on what the parents want.
We don't have any systems-we just go get the parent if needed. The bepper system sounds really cool!! We would loooooooove that :)

[SPKarenO]

wow, that's a new one to me. i've never heard of requesting not to change a diaper--i didn't even know it was an option. my dds (and dd1 when she was in dipes, for that matter) doesn't like strangers changing her dipe, and that's a big part of the reason i don't leave her in the nursery.


Actually they have a question on their sign-in sheet as to whether or not the workers are allowed to change your child or bring them to the potty. I said 'no ~ notify me asap'.


Based on this...absolutely they shouldn't have changed her. I would check next week and see what happened. Try and remember it was most likely still harmless, everyone forgets things now and then (especially if there were lots of children or they were short on workers, etc. etc.). Personally I would just make sure, to mention what happened next week, and that you prefer to be notified. I doubt it will happen again.

[efuego]

I am the nursery coordinator at a church. I get the parents permission to change diapers/potty. If I don't have it, we don't do it. We either go into the sanctuary to get the parents, or wait if it is close to the time the parents arrive.
We do protecting God's children training, which is required for anybody that works with children or youth. Getting permission for diaper changes is part of that. I would make sure you tell the person who is in charge of the nursery, so that they can let the other workers know. I completely respect and honor the request, I am sorry you had that experience.

[Close2MyHeart]

(((((((becca))))))))) I was feeling the same way reading this thread. But I would let someone watch my child play for 30 minutes, but not change his diaper. :shifty I dont think Im a bad parent cuz of that, or you either :hug



Thank you Irene. :hug

I will definitely mention it next week. I'm not concerned that she was hurt in any way... I'm sure that it was harmless and perhaps they were changing all the kids at that time and just did her too. :shrug But I'd prefer that she not be changed by anyone... especially since she was changed JUST before we left home, so she was probably barely wet and I doubt she was smelly because she pooed twice that afternoon. :rolleyes

[Kaz]

luvbeinamom, I think its totally understandable you feel upset. I would be.

Personally I think its way out of line for them to ignore your request. Whether it was an innocent mistake or not is bedside the point and I think the nursery should take more care to follow protocol concerning such a sensitive thing as cleaning children's privates - like efuego said.

Nobody except me and dh change dd, and I always change her very discreetly if there's anyon elese around. I'm not trying to give her a complex, I just think its about treating her with respect. Come to think of it, I still remember the indignity of being at nursery and having the carers roughly changing us all.

I doubt a one-off incident will bother your dd, but I think its worth speaking up about. :hug

[Irene]

I just think its about treating her with respect I agree. I think also in our church the teen girls were changing all the babies diapers whether or not they needed to be changed :/ that rubbed me the wrong way, and I think they changed the rules because of that.

[cannuke]

Our nursery has an "only change if dirty" policy, which I like. They change poopies and soggy, soogy wet dipes. They usually don't bother with Kate at all, since she's in a fitted diaper and a wool and it's harder to check! On Sunday's she's usually only in there for 45 minutes during SS, then out for 30, then in again for 25 or so for the sermon, so I prefer it that way. Tuesday Women's Bible Study lasts TWO hours so I do like them to check. They know I have sposies in the bottom of the bag for them to use, but they usually wait for me if its close (which, again, I prefer.)

I agree totally Kristen. This is my preference and my exact situation too. :tu

I would say something about it, maybe to the nursery coordinator?