another night weaning question!

[hopefromgrace]

ok,
so first of all, it is sooooooo nice to know that there are other mamas out there who are dealing with similar nighttime issues....it really is so hard and its a blessing to know that we're not alone :grouphug !

this is my question....i'm wondering how important it is to fully wean at night(like don't nurse to sleep b/c when she wakes up she'll expect to nurse again so she can fall asleep?) or if that maybe isn't such a big deal? i just don't want to confuse her,, and want this to be as easy and less traumatic as possible :sad2

i really rather nurse her to sleep(mainly b/c its like the magic sleep potion and it really is a special cuddle time :-))
but it's very important that she starts learnig how to fall asleep without the breast when she wakes up at night.

night weaning is something that my dh and i have been "planning" on doing for the past year, but try it and then allways give in because it's so intense to hear our little one screaming/crying and just not understanding why she can't have her "milkies" :cry :bheart she is very attatched to nursing BUT i just can't nurse her at night anymore........because it has gotten to the point where my health is seriously being affected and there are times when i really resent her nursing so much :(
my lack of sleep for the past two years has really caught up with me, and i need to do this for my own health(and sanity :shifty)

will post more,,,little one needs me :heart

[Joanne]

I'll address the questions separately.


(like don't nurse to sleep b/c when she wakes up she'll expect to nurse again so she can fall asleep?) or if that maybe isn't such a big deal? i just don't want to confuse her,, and want this to be as easy and less traumatic as possible

I've found that this idea/theory is mostly a silly myth. Especially so in the early months. It's simply bad information. It's so clearly God's design that babies fall asleep at the breast.

As they get older, I can tell you that my kids totally understood they nursed to sleep the first time and were still able to be successfully night weaned (if needed. Some of mine naturally "weaned" at night).



planning" on doing for the past year, but try it and then allways give in because it's so intense to hear our little one screaming/crying and just not understanding why she can't have her "milkies"

If you've decided to night wean, you are going to have to be consistent and expect the screaming/crying until she knows the limit is firm. There are lots of advocates for and suggestions for a slow, gentle nightweaning. IME, many kids do best with a more cold turkey approach.

[joystrength]

I nightweaned my DS at 13 mo. I was pregnant, and SOSOSOSO tired during the day. He wasn't much of a napper, either. I was dog-tired, seriously. Between his hourly nursing and my getting up to use the bathroom, I was getting little sleep. And HE woke up when I got up, and then wanted to nurse back to sleep. I was SO sore (early pregnancy hormones!) and tired and something needed to change.
For us, it meant offering milk in a sippy, getting up out of bed, sleep sitting up on the couch, daddy walking the floor, offering cheerios (legitimate hunger!) and out-and-out "not letting him nurse."
It was a rough week, but it HAD to be done or I was not going to be able to take care of him, literally.

Yes, it was tough and SAD to hear him cry. But I WAS thinking of him with this "boundary," that's what I reminded myself of. I wouldn't nightwean this early again, if it could be helped, and didn't nightwean my 2 yo DD at ALL (she just weaned last week, sniff!).
I found it helps to offer a snack and cuddles and then nurse them off to sleep. At least you know they're not hungry ....

I hope this answers some questions! It's TOUGH, I know.

:grouphug

[nutmeggmama]

i will second the cold turkey thing. it is a boundary, and it needs to be firm, for it to be effective. but i also think its good to talk to the child about it ahead of time, and to not be wishy washy about it, or try to even be "nice" about it. simply state "the milkies are going to bed at night. no more milkie when the sun is down." or something like that can be a visual reminder of when nursing is going to happen. you dont need to explain (though you can) or try to make excuses. just tell her the way it is going to be. there is some crying, but my children were not alone, and i have seen the fruit of the consistancy. when mama is getting the sleep she NEEDS, and the kids feel safe, life can get a whole lot happier. and its best to warn dh ahead of time that it may be loud. my dh, in an effort to be caring and thoughtful, tells me to wean cold turkey when im upset during the day, but when the child is crying at night, is fine with me nursing, so we can all get some sleep. but that confuses the child. it is much better to hold firm to a boundary, if you have decided on it, then to change your mind in the heat of the moment, because your child is so upset. it sounds hard, but when things got to the point where i was feeling the "im losing my mind" effects from lack of sleep, night weaning, at an appropriate age, was best for us all. ((grace))

ps- dont forget a towel or blanket to sleep on. i was quite engorged in the morning. :giggle

[arwen]

i'm one for the gentle approach...i did it with my ds and he screamed for nursies too but with the gentle approach it really worked great!
now he nurses one time during the nite and that's it :tu

we did a modified Dr. Gordon approach and it was really great.

it's a hard decision to make and i went back on it a few times before i was finally ready to do it.

[hopefromgrace]

thanks so much for all the info.
we all have a cold now, but will be ready to give this night weaning thing a go when we all feel better......(interesting, as it seems whenevere i decide "it's really time" something comes up :shrug)

i will keep posted as to how its going once we start though.
plllllllllease keep us in your prayers :pray