Cosleeping Bedtime Routine

[raisa]

We have had a very loose bedtime "routine" for awhile now. A bath after dinner, DS climbs on us while we watch tv, then when he starts to show tired signs I nurse and one of us rocks him to sleep. When he's fast asleep we lay him in bed. This has really worked for us with DH usually doing the rocking. But lately DS is "pushing" his bedtime later and I really want to keep it set earlier.

I don't want to "force" him to sleep but I want to create useful conditions to help him sleep -- dark, quiet (no TV), boring, lots of routines. DH got burnt out last night with the rocking and suddenly asked when we don't CIO and when DS will be out of our bed. I said we'll discuss these things when we're not tired, and I'll do the rocking from now on so he can get a break. I think it's definitely time for more structure and parenting the baby to sleep but I keep getting this confused in my head with all this "training" brainwashing that's floating around in there. Any ideas on this would be appreciated.

[DogwoodMama]

Well, maybe you don't want to hear from me since I'm having major sleep issues with my dd now. ;) However, things went well for us for quite a while. I think that until around a year we had a routine similar to yours, actually. Then it got to the point that no matter how "dim" it was downstairs, whether we had the tv on mute or not, she just wanted to get down and play and would fight sleep. So I slowly transitioned to taking her upstairs, getting her in her "nighttime" diaper and PJ's, reading a story or two, and then would nurse her to sleep in the bed... Sometimes i would have a dim light on and read, occassionally I would watch TV, but usually I just laid down and nursed her. I always sang "Twinkle Twinkle" to her, and that really helped. Sometimes she was out in 15-20 minutes, sometimes it was longer than that.

I'm interested to hear about other co-sleeper's routines. I know that some people have a special CD they play, etc. Our current routine (when it works, we're going through weird stuff right now!) involves nursing and cuddling while she watches the Fisher Price Ocean Acquarium. Either way, I view it as a transition period to sleep... in her book for toddler Pantley says you should allow an hour for a bedtime routine, during which you should focus on familiar cues and creating a quite, sleep inducing-environment. :)

Also, has his nap schedule been changing at all? Do you think he is getting too much daytime sleep? Just thought I'd throw that out there too...

[mwwr]

:popcorn I could use some ideas, too. We've had trouble with this ever since 5 yo dd was little, and 2 new dds (though MUCH lower- maintenance personalities than sis) have made it quite challenging. But I know from experience that CIO, even if it solves the problem temporarily (and often it won't even do that) may backfire dowm the road. You can't make anyone sleep, but you can make them dread or fear it.

[Blue Aurora]

Well ds was sleeping in his crib for part of the night but we are back to full time cosleeping and I'm very happy with our routine. I have been very structured about sleep for him htough since he was born... I guess it's just my temperment. Anyways, 5:30 is dinner, then we take a walkk around the block, bath time by 6:30 with his nighttime cd on, rock in the rocking chair while he drinks his milk and read two books, then we move to the bed and I lay with him till he's asleep. He's usually out by 7:30. That routine isn't very strict and I omit things depending on the night. For example tonight we were running very late b/c we had his pictures taken so dinner was around 6:30 and we went straight to bed with milk. We don't always walk but it's a nice calm way to end the evening/ The main part of our routine is bath time, rocking while reading and then laying down in bed. OK, I hope that wasn't too confusing...LOL

[raisa]

Thanks everyone! It's good to hear all the ideas and know I'm not alone. His afternoon nap has been moving LATER, and sometimes we try to mush it in to an early bedtime but sometimes he just wakes up really wanting to play. He's definitely in a transition time in lots of ways, used to take two regular naps, now it's like fusing into one mid-day nap. I think the tv really distracts him even if it's on mute, so it doesn't work for DH to rock him while watching the ballgame anymore. Last night after bath we had the tv off, books on Daddy's lap, and then I started with the nursing/rocking/singing. When that didn't work, instead of setting him down to play I took him outside to see that it was nighttime and show him that the cars and trees and houses were all asleep. He really loved feeling the bricks on the side of the house :shrug .

It took 55 minutes not counting bath, so I guess that's not bad. Once we get some regularity to it, I'll try moving it a little earlier. Right now he stays up late (8:30/9) but he sleeps late too which I like. I lent my Pantley book to a friend who was going to CIO, so I guess I should go get the toddler version for more ideas.