2 year old popping out of bed!

[Kcross]

Ok , here is some background, my DS was adopted by us when he was 2 months old so he was already sleeping great in his crib, I kept him there unless he cried at night and then I would go get him and bring him to our bed, but for the most part he has been an awesome sleeper and likes his own bed/room.

Next we transitioned him to a twin bed (about 6 mo ago) and he did fine there too, we had our bedtime routine, bath, books, prayers, cuddles and then he would stay and go to sleep.

Recently he WILL NOT stay in his bed when it is time to go to bed (after he turned 2) we still do everything the same but now he POPS up out of bed as soon as I start to leave the room, he will run all over the house and thinks its a fun game. I have tried lying with him, but after 30-45 min. he is still not asleep and my DD needs me to put her to bed and do her bedtime routine by that time. Dh is there helping out too. I have tried picking him up and returning him to bed over and over again.... but this could to on for an hour or 2!! :eek

My last resort was to close his door (my dh's idea, not sure I like it :( ) he cries for about a minute then falls asleep, but its on the FLOOR! :shrug

I picked him up and put him back in bed, he was fine, but I dont know what to do....I cant be in 2 places at once, and my DD really wants me there for her bedtime, I would just lie with him or have dh lie with him until he falls asleep but he seems to not be able to fall asleep if we are there with him...what to do???

[milkmommy]

I used a gate :eek this way she stayed "safe" but wasn't totally locked out from us and I could see and respond if needed. I stayed with her if she needed me too and we took down the gate once she was asleep for safety reasons. My DD also went through a period where she fell asleep everywhere but her bed honestly I think it was more because she could.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v101/Ceciliasmom/CLcloth/P1010214.jpg
Deanna

[Kcross]

I like the gate idea rather than the door closed...cute pic!! :)

[Mama Calidad]

I have tried lying with him, but after 30-45 min. he is still not asleep and my DD needs me to put her to bed and do her bedtime routine by that time.
Am I understanding right that he'll lay there fairly quietly for 30-45 minutes and not be able to go to sleep? Could he be needing a little later bedtime?

I don't like the idea of a child being shut up in their room and unable to get out for any child, but especially not for an adopted child. I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old and I know that by at least 3 I was having some really big feelings about that. I know 3, because there are stories told by my mom about it...before that I can't vouch for...no solid memories. ;) I struggled so much with feeling abandoned and unwanted growing up...and I know that those feelings had begun by the time I was 3. I would hate to see bedtime add to those types of feelings, kwim?

Would it be possible for your two children to share a room for a while and you could do their bedtime routine together?

Does he need a time sleeping with you and your DH right now? My DS (turned 2 this month) seems extra clingy at night here lately. :shrug

Will he rock to sleep?

Would a nice warm bath with Epsom salts before bed help him relax and make sleep easier?

Does it help to tell him stories while he's going to sleep? When DD is having trouble getting to sleep, DH tells her stories.

Would adjusting naps make bedtime easier?

[Kcross]

[quote]I struggled so much with feeling abandoned and unwanted growing up...and I know that those feelings had begun by the time I was 3.

Could you elaborate on this some more? I want to understand his feelings or potential feelings about being adopted as much as possible. In my head he doesnt know he is adopted yet...he has known us as mommy and daddy and it seems like he really sees us like that, just like my DD. Also I am his great-aunt, my niece was a teenager, and just couldnt do it so we took him, so he is with his family still. ( he has no contact with birth -mother per her wishes at this time) but my parents are here (his great-grandparents) and he has a wonderful bond with them too.
I guess I am just wondering if you grew up knowing your adopted parents as mommy and daddy? Did they treat you any different to make you feel that way? I think our home is filled with love so I would absoluty be crushed if I thought he had any feelings of "unwanted" at all!!! :(

by the time bedtime gets here 8pm he is clearly very tired, but for some reason if dh or I are lying with him he cant seem to fall asleep :shrug

When I have closed the door, he falls asleep in less than 5 min usually, but I do feel bad about doing that, perhaps the gate idea is better?

I could try the epsom salts, would they dry out his skin? He already has kinda dry, bumpy skin on legs and arms. Maybe soft music in his room might work. ( I just thought of that) :)

I would not mind the 2 sharing a room but DD seems to want her "own" room...she tells him it's time for him to go nite nite...

I really appreciate the feedback, especially from the adopted point of view...I want to make him feel the best he can! OK apparently I cant figure out the quote thing!! sorry, how do you get it to quote properly? :doh
Thanks!!

[Amber]

My ds is 15mo, so I don't really have any btdt advice for you. I just wanted to say that ds sleeps in his crib and when it is time to go to bed if he doesn't nurse to sleep I put him in his crib and leave the room. We shut his door so that it is dark in his room and the dog and cat can't distract him. I really don't have a problem with it. On a rare occasion he will fuss for a minute but then lays down and falls asleep easily.

My feeling is that if he is falling asleep easily and without a fuss with what you are doing then it is fine. Falling asleep outside of his crib is probably just a phase...or you have really comfy carpet ;)

Just my two cents.

[MarynMunchkins]

I usually lie down with Colin, but I bet you could just stand by the door and tell him to lie down. Colin won't get up as long as he sees me standing there. :)

How old is your dd?

[Kcross]

I have tried standing at the door and telling him to lie down, he gets this big smile like we are playing a game and gets out of bed and runs to me :rolleyes

My DD is 2 3/4, the 2 are exactly 6 months apart....she requests her door to be closed...she says "door closed mama" but she knows if she calls for me I am right there, we have monitor in her room. Sometimes I lie with her until she falls asleep, but she can fall asleep like that for soem reason DS just cant :shrug Maybe he thinks if mommy or daddy are here I shouldnt be sleeping?

[Mama Calidad]

Could you elaborate on this some more?
I PMed you. :-)