Letting baby cry while dealing with other dc?!

[purplerose]

I'm trying to find a balance on this!!!! My baby, who is 3 wks old, cries quite a bit. I know it's because he wants to be held. I try to hold him as much as possible and I even wear him in the sling. But what about when I have to do other things that I can't sling him. Like cooking, I haven't mastered this yet. Or when my other kids want mommy all to themself. It makes me sad when my dd says "Mommy, can you put the baby down so you can hold me". We do do times where I'm nursing and one of my toddlers sits with me and we read a book or just sit together and watch their fave show. But there are times when I just have to put baby down to do something else. I try to make sure that he is fed and clean. But is this considered CIO? Or is this a non-attachment issue? I mean, I'm trying to juggle 3 kids under the age of 4, two of which are in diapers, keep a house clean with a DH who is gone A LOT preparing for deployment?! Any suggestions? Thots? Well, baby is crying so I better go! Thanks!! :yawn

[mamatogands]

I struggle with this too. :hug

[MarynMunchkins]

Crying happens. :shrug Try to minimize it, but I don't consider it CIO to deal with needs of one child vs. the desires of another. That includes a baby who is crying because it wants to be held. Dinner and some level of cleanliness is important for the family. :)

It's always hard to juggle adding a new person to the family. :hug Crying doesn't mean that you're failing.

[kmcmomof3]

You have to remember that it's not going to be like this forever. I have 3 under four years (all girls), too. The first few months are really hard. And especially since you are doing everything essentially by yourself. You'll find you may try really hard to make every one of your babies happy only to make yourself very worn out and depressed. Don't be surprised if you go through an angry/depressed phase. Not on purpose, but you may find yourself very overwhelmed at times. I was getting angry and resentful for a while. At the mess in the house, at the fact that everyone needed me at the same time.

For a while I would have to nurse the baby while laying down with the 2 year old to get her to bed when dh worked the night shift (as he does every other week). My 2 year old would get mad because the baby was in between us and she couldn't get close enough to me for her liking, but if I put the baby in the swing she'd cry (I had milk supply issues so she was always nursing in the beginning and not content to go for long without nursing). I decided to do a combination of nursing and bottle feeding expressed milk and a little bit of formula so that I could take care of the needs of all the kids.

It's starting to get better now. The baby is almost 6 months and able to go longer periods between feeds. But I still have days that are hard. Especially when my 2 and 3.5 year old begin the morning off fighting over toys or my 2 year old bites or scratches or otherwise bothers my 3.5 year old.

:hug

If you ever need to just vent, you can pm me because chances are, I've been there too.

[Radosny Matka]

This is what I struggled with the most in going from 1 to 2 (and still sometimes do). Sometimes you just do what you have to do. It's a balancing act. Baby's cry and you can't make everyone happy all day long, and at the same time. Like Mary said, you just have to minimize it the best you can and talk lovingly/reassuringly to baby when you are unable to meet the needs. It's also important to remember that sometimes setting the baby down and giving the older dc a hug is more important than the baby not crying for a few minutes. :hug

[The Tickle Momster]

It's hard. I know. When dd2 was born I also had 3 under 4. It gets easier as baby gets older. What saved me is that a friend showed me how to do a back carry (Tibetan) with a wrap at about 5 weeks. I know they tell you not to, but you can cook that way. And hug your other children. You are not alone, and it WILL get easier. :hug You might also try giving baby a little nakey time. I can usually eek out about 5 minutes of whatever needs to be done this way. HTH some.

[purplerose]

Thanks everyone. This is just a hard thing for me!! I just HATE hearing baby cry, especially this early in his life when I'm trying to establish a trust with him right away. I want him to know he is safe, secure and that I respond to his needs. But I feel bad for my two toddlers. They are adjusting very well to life with baby though and they just love him to pieces, but I jut haven't been the "fun" mom I'd been in the past!! But I'm trying! I'm just glad to know that a few moments of crying is ok! Thanks!! :grouphug