5 STEPS questions

[akmyilee]

Ok, I have really tried with the 5 steps thing...........MOST of the time it works for me pretty well. The problem is that Kyle has kinda "figured it out" as in. He knows that we are going to help after we ask him a couple of times so he is going tomake it impossible for us to help. As in going wet noodle. I know I have asked about this before but I guess I need a refresher because I don't know what to do.

Example:

We are in walmart, Ellie is big enough to sit in the buggy now so I let Kyle walk beside me, if he is getting to wound up I will put him in the buggy until it gets too full and then I put him out. He is constantly hanging on the side of the buggy. I am constantly telling him, walk right beside me, gently hold onto the side, then it goes to don't stand on the side, and then DO NOT TOUCH the buggy. Usually he gets upset and says "I CAN'T" imagaine an extreamly whiny voice, so I tell him yes you can, walk here beside mommy,then he goes limp on the floor, I usually stand next to him (with wierd looks from people walking by) and tell him that when he is willing to walk like a big boy we will go. I know that isn't the best thing to do but I can't come up with anything else.

The same thing just happened. He took the binkies off of the desk and I ask him to put them back and he just dropped them on the floor, I said no you need to put them back, do you want me to help you? He immediatly goes wet noodle and fists up his hands, I picked him up and used my hands and his fists to pick them up and put them back and then put him back on the floor. This seems rediculous to me........and I can't always do this, if I am carrying a bag and the baby too I can not "help" my prefectly capable 3 3/4 yo.

Ok, well that is my frustration...what do ya'll think?

[milkmommy]

For the cart maybe allowing him to push the cart (my DD loves this). If you give him a little more freedom do you think he could handle it? like I don't require mine to walk right beside me she may walk a bit ahead but she needs to stay with in a comfotable arms length and needs to listen and comply if I ask her to stop or come back. She stays safe but gains a little freedom, maybe loosening up things a bit may help. :shrug When he becomes pasta though, I really do the best you can do is basically what you are doing. I would refrain from saying"walk like a big boy" he might not be instrested in being a big boy. :giggle and its hinting on a threat. Instead I'd just be frank and honest that you need him to walk with you and you won't go on untill he does this..
pacies- some times playfull parenting can help. Uhh oh the pacies have all fallen on the floor oh nooo (overly dramatic) look there is a pacifer eatting kangroo comming!! Hurry put them back on the desk before he gets them, we better hop while we do it also. ;)

Deanna

[MamaCare]

I am having the same issues in the store with my 6 1/2 year old!! He wants to hang on the cart, or else push it, which is not an option. (His baby sister is in the front, and he wants to speed down the aisles... not safe!) My solution has been to #1: go shopping without him~ (though he's in school, so it's not hard to find a time... could you go on a weekend and leave Kyle with dh?) or if he must go, #2: try to involve him productively... asking him to find something in the aisle that we need to purchase, tell sister a story to entertain her, etc. Doesn't always work perfectly, but he's usually eager to help.
Blessings,
Carrie

[MarynMunchkins]

Sounds like he thinks he needs help whether you do or not. ;) I'd make him more responsible for stuff, and see if that helps. Give him his own picture shopping list for the store, or make him responsible for keeping the binkies clean. :tu

If you haven't read it, I highly recommend Playful Parenting.