Do your kids have an attachment to an object?

[Close2MyHeart]

Such as stuffed animal, blanket or something other than you?

I just finished Crystal's book and one of the many things that struck me was a mention of being attached to a parent rather than an object. (I hope you don't mind me mentioning this Crystal...) My boys are each attached to a stuffed animal "oof" and "rar' (a dog and bear) and DD is attached to her "ganket" (blanket) they don't need these things during the day unless they are tired... and when they are tired, they like to snuggle w/ me and the fav. object or on their bed/couch w/ the object...

Does anyone else's kids have an attachment to objects?

[chelsea]

My son doesn't have any special "blanket" or "teddy bear" or anything like that. Sometimes I wish he did so that he wasn't always wanting to snuggle with "the munchies". :lol I would have thought it was weird except for reading somewhere (can't remember what book) that AP promotes bonding with parents rather than objects so it made sense. Still, I know that lots of AP kids DO have a special toy/blankie etc. So I guess it just depends on the child!

[snlmama]

My youngest kind of has rotating attachments. Today he's attached to a stuffed dog. It's been his lovie for about a week now. Before that it was a little bouncy ball :rolleyes I'm sure in a couple of days it will be something else.... It's handy b/c if he loses or misplaces his lovie (yes, he sleeps w/ them and takes everywhere) he finds a replacement w/in hours. :)

My oldest never formed an attachment to anything other than me. I have to admit that it was hard at times. He's still *very* attached to mom.

[milkmommy]

MY CHILD HAS SOME COMFORT OBJECTS DOLLS OR A SPECIAL BLANKET SHE CUDDLES BUT SHES NOT ATTACHED TO ANYTHING. (EXCEPT ME AND DADDY) SHE DOESN'T OBSESS OVER THESE THINGS.

DEANNA

[milkmommy]

opps sorry the caps lock was on :O

Deanna

[Close2MyHeart]

lol! I just read that and thought "Why is she yelling?" LOL!! It's so funny how things can 'sound' online....

I think my kids prefer me for comfort... but they really love these things and need them for nap. Karah begs for her 'ganket' whenever it's time for bed. And the boys are now so/so about their animals. They still love them, but they don't NEED them. When the kids are hurt or sad, they come to t me tho, so I guess that's good :)

[mamaKristin]

Nope - mine haven't taken to anything. I wish my DD would though some days...she is of the *gently touch, then pinch really quick* school of cuddling some days. Ouch! Last night, DH was saying in bed "don't be putting Miss Pinch-a-lot in the middle!" Thanks hon... :giggle

[Punkie]

Mine don't have anything, unless you count binkies :O

[MarynMunchkins]

Doug has his blanket, which is refers to as his buddy. :) Actually, Colin picked it up today, put it on Doug's bed and said "Doug Doug's buddy." :heart

Ana doesn't really have anything. :shrug

Colin is very attached to his papi. In fact, he'll often push nursies away in order to get it. :shrug

[milkmommy]

lol! I just read that and thought "Why is she yelling?" LOL!! It's so funny how things can 'sound' online....

:lol :O :laughtears :hunh :cool :giggle :hug

Deanna

[mackinsiesmom]

Mackinsie used to be very attached to a yellow blanket that my mil gave us as a baby shower present. I think it has something to do with blankets that come from my mil because all four grandchildren are attached to the blanket that she gave them. She has just started to take any blanket to sleep with but when she is upset or homesick she wants that yellow blanket.

Katie

[BeckaBlue]

kenzie it was her paci
abbey was her blanket (that she lost at the airport in ohio :cry)
nik is defiantely securely attatched to nursers!! but his other lovey? nope, not a soft fluffy animal, a warm blanky, nothin like that, it's a football!!! lmbo! he is SO in love with football it's his favorite diaper, shirt, and deffinately TOY. he has a pillow football, 2 mini's, and his favorite of all, a junior (almost full) size football! he doesnt care to have them for sleepor anyhing, bu if we go ANYWHERE its a must, and when were home hes not so ocerned with it, but still carries it around when he can

[Garnet]

with Brandon it was a blanket......he slammed it in the car door and then ripped it in two trying to get it out, so then we had two "woobies" and then we had four 8 x 10 sized woobies........then finally one the size of a hanky and he was done........

with Hope it was a purple bear she got from her Uncle Craig, and before that it was just mommy daddy grandma who ever was nearest......


with Hugh it was a green gingham checked blankie with little yarn knots throughout it. He would roll the knots between his fingers and fall alseep. Or rub the ruffled edge of it on his face until he fell asleep. Other

I wonder if boys are more prone to loveys than girls?

[Thia]

Dd hasn't one so far...except me. If she does decide to adopt one, so be it.

[Aerynne]

Dd doesn't have one. She does like her stuffed animals and will play with them, but when she's hurt, scared, sick, lonely, tired, etc, she wants to nurse.

[DogwoodMama]

My dd is very attached to her "babies" but that's because she takes good care of them. ;) They get hungry, nurse, get diapers, go out with us, sleep with us, get cuddled & kissed, push in the stroller, read books with us, etc. I guess it's a different sort of attachment- she "comforts" them, not the reverse. :)

[Mama4ever]

My dd lost her "baby Timmi" just last week. :cry Poor thing...we bought a new doll or her choosing, but she still says " I miss my old Timmi." She loves the new doll though and takes care of it and says she is the mama!

My ds has a puppy dog. He used to sleep with a teddy bear, but decided he needed a dog since his real dog stays outside.

They love their 'lovies', but still want me for comfort. They sleep with thier objects every night.

[Radosny Matka]

Yes. He has a brown kitty. He didn't "find" the kitty until he was over 2 years old, after we moved across country.

[Earthylady]

Nope. :tu

[Soliloquy]

:nak

nope, just her nursies.

[phathui5]

Mine don't, though other than the inconvenience factor, I wouldn't see it as a bad thing.

When I was a little kid, my mom had to have a hotel we stayed at mail us back my stuffed dog that I left there. I couldn't function without it, apparently.

[jujubnme]

Not really. We used to have a habit of putting the same blanket and stuffed animal to bed with him, but it turned out he really didn't miss them when they weren't there. :shrug

[lavender mom]

DS has never really been attached to anything. DD loves her passy, and is on the verge of becoming attached to her *shoes*! She took a nap with one today, and almost wouldn't give them up at bedtime time tonight! It's the funniest thing to see her cuddled up with her Robeez! :giggle

[TheSweetLife]

dd has a blankie that I made for her. It is minkie on one side and satin on the other. Of course, if this blankie is unavailable (in the wash) we have a back-up one that she likes just as well - she likes to rub the satin side when going to sleep.

[AKCristyMJ]

Well both my dd's are hooked on their thumbs and blankets.

Lidia has a red checker blanket that was infact my crib blanket as a baby. I've had to sow and sow on it to keep it together.
But by age 5 she uses it and thumb lot less.

Beth tho is 19mos and hooked hard on her bankie.
It's those simple cotton ones you get at WalMart type stores so if it gets ragged I just buy a new one.

I dunno where I went wrong that they both got so hooked, Beth is like Linus on Peanuts, drags her Bankie eeeeverywhere.

Am I a bad mom??? :shifty

[milkmommy]

Am I a bad mom??? shifty
:hug of course not.. I've seen kids pushed to use pacifers bottles a blankie or animal to hlp "soothe" them but its to say here leave me alone and have a pacifer or what ever, some on the opposite wont allow anything including limited human contact for fear of spoiling. Your not doing this your kids just find extra comfort in there blankets ect,, Your their for them also they will drop the rest as they need to.

Deanna

[Roma]

no, but I'm reading NCSS and she suggests trying for a 'lovey' to help nightweaning. i don't think my DS will be interested.

[AKCristyMJ]

Thanks. :O

I coulda been way more AP with Lidia, but still did hold her and no CIO an all a lot.

But yeah Beth was always given me first and foremost.
Thanx to our winters I would always wrap her up in a blanket before rocking her or nursing usually, not always, anyways she just gradually got hooked on the blanket. :shrug
I'd often leak milk on it so she probably liked it's smell too I guess.

[Mother of Sons]

My first two had blankets. They were so attached them that we even had their pictures taken with them at Sears. even had a particular corner of the blanket that was his favorite. It must have had some kind of scent because he could find it with his eyes closed.

never had an attachment object except for me.

[chelsea]

Am I a bad mom???
NO WAY!! Besides, I've always thought it is cute when a child drags around a blankie! :heart

[milkmommy]

I was :giggle tonight because I say DD doesn't have a lovey but when we announce its time for bed DD gathers up ALL her stuffed animals and baby dolls and heads up stairs same for naps. I was just thinking of this thread and watching my DD loaded down with two cabbage patch kids one baby born a blue clues stuffed dog another stuffed valintines dog a teddy bear and her little woody (toy story) plastic toy happily heading up the stairs to join her Bunny and he rubber ducky. :laughtears. :scratch Maybe I have been replaced ;)

Deanna

[zulumama]

Hi there

I am studying Attachment theory in my masters course in art therapy and to reassure you this is a normal phase of development in terms of psychoanalytic theory and is nothing to be overly concerned about. It does not indicate that the child has replaced you, rather the object is more symbolic of the relationship between mother and child, hence the often strong attachment to the object.

If you are interested in the theory behind this I will be happy to help, it is rather complex and based on Melanie Klein's pioneering work in the late 1800's, she was the one to discover and highlight the importance of the attachment process between mother and child. This had never been documented or researched. She would actually spend hours observing the interaction between infant and mother and came to see them as one entity. She came up with the idea of the good breast bad breast theory and was able to establish the connection between poor attachment and onset of mental illness in adulthood.

Blessings

Zulumama :tol

[chelsea]

That sounds really interesting, Zulumama!