Am I the only one with kids like this?????

[GodChick]

I can not put DD2 down even for ONE MINUTE w/o her screaming and hollering like a banshee. :hissyfit :hissyfit DD1 was the same way at this age. I mean, if I put her down long enough to transfer the towels from the washer to the dryer--about, what, 30 seconds?--she screams bloody murder. If I try to wash my hands--what, 30 seconds again?--she screams. I can't set her down to cook, to help DD1 go potty, to get laundry out of the dryer . . . NOTHING. Other people's kids that I know are NOT like this . . . but they are also not AP kids. This is one reason all my IRL friends think I'm a lousy mom--because they are telling themselves, "no WAY would I want a kid like Michele's that hollers if she's not being held constantly." :( So, what's up? Anyone else have kids like this? I know it's just a phase--I know it's normal for little ones to want to be held a lot . . . but to not even be okay on a mat or swing in the same room with me, while I talk to her, for even 1-5 minutes?!?!? Both of my kids were like this--DD1 didn't start growing out of it until she was about 18 months. So--are AP kids often this way, or are my kids ultra-clingy?

DH is going on another month-long trip, and I'm supposed to be doing the laundry and packing his suitcase while he's at work today (yes, on Sunday :rolleyes) but I can't get it done, because, as usual, DD2 is constantly screaming for my attention. I do sling--a lot--but some things, like cooking, or getting laundry out of the dryer are really hard to do even with a sling, as you all no doubt know. I'm always SOOOO tired and achey and just plain :crazy from carrying EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY.

*sigh*

Edited to add a link to this related question:

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=24444.msg216020#msg216020

:yawn

[milkmommy]

I think much is just the childs temperment. I've seen very attached babies that are quite clingy and others that just kinda go with the flow (mine was more that way) same with non attached. Shes blessed to have you as a mom..

Deanna

[MarynMunchkins]

No, you're not. :hug I had 2 like that, and I was not an AP mom with Ana. I did some co-sleeping out of pure exhaustion and nursed. :shrug I will say that being AP with Colin made my life a lot easier though. ;)

Hang in there! As they get older, they not only scream less, but entertain each other. :tu

[Soliloquy]

My DD was like that, at certain ages more so than others. It sounds like you have a high-needs baby, at least in the mama-proximity area! Personally, I found I could get a lot more done and be much more comfortable with her in the Baby Bjorn than in the sling. She was so much more secure and couldn't fall out, even when I bent over. She used to nap in the Baby Bjorn too (as long as I kept moving :rolleyes).

It was really hard for me to take a shower when she was little. I finally found that she could be content for 20-30 minutes while watching Baby Einstein's Baby Beethoven or Language Nursery. This enabled me to shower every day and do a few chores that I couldn't do while holding her.

Btw, my DH was forced into doing his share of the housework when she was little. I write "his share" because, IMO, it's what he should've been doing anyway, but he doesn't like housework so I always ended up doing it. When our DD was going through that phase, though, I insisted and he was happy to help out.

There's a high-needs/spirited children board. You could probably get some more ideas and support there.

Btw, your kids would have this temperment whether you practiced AP or not. If you put them down and let them scream for long periods, they might eventually give up, but they'd lose their trust in themselves as well as you. You're doing a great job, mama!!

[GodChick]

oh.i sld mention dd1 is def high-needs . . . have known for a long time and participate on&off in the hn forum. dd2 not quite as intensly hn, but looking kind of hn herself. just sometimes i wonder specifically about the can't-be-put-down business, even w/ hn, kwim? and sometimes wonder, if they'tre both like that, does it give credeability to my irl friends' claims that i caused it? i've got a slew of baby einstein--no help. don't have a bjorn though. :think i do have ring sling, tube sling, wraps and snuggli though. :giggle

between this, dh always out of town, and having to do wahm stuff intil 1-2am, i am loosing it! (mothers helper no use--dd2 screams w/ anyone but me even when i'm here at home.) i know some folks here would consider this not a problem ("i like to hold my kids!") but though i like to hold my kids too, i am starting to hurt physically.

[mylittlemen]

My first was pretty hn too, and I had the same thoughts and feelings...was it me causing this neediness?? If I had two in a row that were hn, I can only imagine the second guessing I would be doing... Well, my second is not remotely anything like hn. The contrast between the two is very revealing. He has ALWAYS been so content to be down, sitting, whatever, although now he wants to be down and DOING (he is 9 months). He does not want to be held. He likes to be near me, but would much rather do his own thing. I am so worried about what will happen when I have another baby. I have gotten so used to this "easy" baby, I've forgotten what it was like. I just wanted you to know it has nothing to do with you "training" the baby to need you, or AP, or anything. It's just who she is, who they both are, I guess. I remember before I had kids I visited a friend with a 9 month old who SCREAMED inconsolably when Mama went out of her line of sight even for a second. (I had to hold baby while poor dear friend used the bathroom when we were out - it was horrible.) I promised myself that whatever she had done to make her baby like this, I would NEVER do it. LOL... It's so easy to blame someone when you don't have kids or have easy kids. It's just not fair :( :hug You are doing great, Mama. I wish it would be easier on you physically, though. What about a back carrier, for doing chores? The Mama of the screaming baby I mentioned found this helpful.

[nutmeggmama]

not that you want ANOTHER carrier, but my kids seem to do WAY better in a kelty type backpack after 6-7 months, IF i want to get things done. If I put them in a sling from about 6-18 months, it seems to either make them want to nurse ALL the time, which isnt always feasible, or just be plain whiney. On those days, they go in the back pack. Now, it could make you sore, but it would give your arms a rest.
And, no, my 3rd is completely AP'd. and loves to play on the floor, sleeps through the night- seriously, people think hes on the Babywise program. :-)
But my first, wow, screamed absolutely bloody murder for the first year of his life, i think i shoulda eliminated dairy much much earlier than 2 yo, in my own diet.
at least i tell myself that...
:hug

[mamatogands]

one like that, one not like that. I think it's just the way they're wired.
:)
:hug2