Lying to children...

[sarahtar]

So what is a mama to do when those around her persist in lying to her child?

Examples:
- my mom didn't want Wally to touch something at her house, so she told him it was hot. (it wasn't)
- my mom didn't want to give Wally some of her pop (which I didn't want either) so she took his cup and told him she was going to pour some of her pop into his cup for him. She put the lid on her bottle, pretended to pour, and then said "OK, here you go, there's some of my pop in there."
- my MIL didn't want Wally to play on a karoke machine (which she and others had been encouraging him to play with about 30 minutes before) so she told him it was broken.

This drives me BATTY. There is no reason to lie to him. I have tried telling them "you can just tell him the truth, you know" I have tried instead talking directly to him "Actually, Wally, it's not broken, but why don't we come over here and play with this instead"

But yet they persist.

Ideas? Do I need to just sit them down and explain that I don't believe in lying to my children and would appreciate their cooperation in this matter?

[Aerynne]

I'd sit down and talk to her about it. If it still doesn't change, I don't know what I would do. Maybe talk to her in front of him. She says "It's hot". You say "No, it's not hot. Please do not lie to my son". That's a tough one, though. Good luck.

[Novella]

I agree with the previous post that you should have a chat with her and ask her to please respect your wishes. However, if that doesn't work, I might suggest correcting her "lie" ....

For instance.... she says- "don't touch- that's hot"

Just touch it yourself and say "hmmm- doesn't feel hot... but, this isn't a good toy for you to play with" and redirect your little one. Maybe then she'd get the point.

Good Luck!

[malakoa]

my parents totally lie to everyone all the time :popcorn
i'd love the hear more ideas about that

[jujubnme]

I just don't get why people do this. :banghead A couple of days ago my ds was playing on the computer in the library and the other two computers were free. Another boy asked his mom to play. "No, the sign on the computer says it's broken." Of course, there was no such sign... and really no signs on the computers. :doh Definitely tell them that you don't want them to lie to your child. Kids aren't dumb, and they're just undermining their own credibility in the long run. It may be such a habit that it will take some debunking the lies too, as the other posters recommended. Ugh.

[sarahtar]

Well, no real success so far!

But I do think it's funny in a way. I don't believe 2/3 of the words that come out of my mom's mouth. And there are times she'll ask "why don't you ever believe me when I tell you something?" Well...I would guess that this stuff is a LARGE PART OF IT!!

Ever since I posted this, I've started noticing how prevalent lying to children is in our society. I mean, EVERYONE lies to him. Most of them are small white lies, but, call me crazy, I think adults should provide a good example to children. If I want him to be truthful...shouldn't I be truthful?

[malakoa]

hey
maybe it's good for our kids to realize right away there are some people who don't tell the truth. maybe they won't be as gullible as i was...

[MomToDM]

I thought my mil was the only one that did this, it drives me absolutely batty! I don't understand it at all. When she tries to get ds to look at her for a picture or something she will say "look Dominic I have a puppy", um hello!? :shrug What is that about? He obviously knows that she has not just produced a puppy out of nowhere. He's a kid, not an idiot. She does however have issues with lying anyways, but she thinks we don't know that she lies all the time, and she tells us that honesty is very important to her, yeah right. I was so proud the other day she did the puppy thing and dh told her not to say that. :tu I love it when he does stuff like that. She also will say something is hot when its not and a bunch of other stuff too.