Her own bed: My personal torture chamber

[malakoa]

We bought Small a mattress because I was scared she would leap off our bed.

Last night, her dad put her to bed. It was noiseless. But she woke up w/o me there and cried. He went in to her but "she frowned at (dh's) chest because she wanted to nurse." I went in and nursed her. She fell asleep about a half and hour. Then she woke up, looking for me. She made some noise as if to say "Hey? Momma? Where are you?" I came in and lay down. She sort of played a little on her back, happy I was there, but I was concerned she'd be up for the evening, so I just nursed her and she went to sleep. I went to sleep too. For almost the rest of the night she nursed and nursed and nursed.

I wonder, if she nursed so much to keep me in the bed with her. What do you think about this? She usually does nurse at night, but not as much as it seems she always does when she wakes up and finds me absent. Easiest thing so far has been just to keep her in the big bed, although I am scared she will fall out.

This morning about five I got up and went to the big bed. Her bed is an IKEA mattress and no adult sleeps well on it. I already feel the springs and it's just a few months old. If there is a waranty, do you think I could return it? I got a few hours of sleep until she woke up and dh brought her in to nurse again.

[abbiroads]

We are trying to wean our ds to his own mattress. We have it right next to our bed. When he is asleep, usually when I decide to go to sleep, I move him to his own bed. He wakes up during the night and climbs up on the bed and asks to nurse. I nurse him back to sleep but if I try to move him back to his bed, he wakes up and cries and climbs up again.

So, I guess I don't really have any suggestions, but I feel your frustration. Ds kicking me does not help my morning (all day) sickness and I wish he would sleep all night on his own bed.

[DogwoodMama]

It's very possible. Has she always co-slept with you? Is there any particular reason you're afraid she might leap off your mattress, and if so, is there anything you could do to make it safer? It sounds like the new arrangment isn't working for either of you.

She's not quite a year old... are you trying to night-wean her or were you still planning on nursing her a couple of times a night? I'll be honest- I think it's really hard (but can be done, of course) to nurse a child in another bed (room?) for the parent- it's just so much easier to me to have them close if they still nurse at night. I was still nursing my dd a few times a night around 1, but over the past 9 months it has generally decreased, and for a period she had nightweaned herself... also, she sleeps in our bed alone and I have no fears about her falling off b/c she can get off by herself and she also stays toward the middle anyway.

In your situation, based on what I know, I think you have a couple of options. The first is what *I* would do, which might not be right for you, of course. ;) I'd make my bed safe and bring her back into it. The second would be to get a mattress that is comfortable for both of you (we got a twin which is on the floor for a few hundred that is actually used as a guest bed b/c I decided to keep her in our bed), and work with her, involving your dh as you have already, toward more independent sleep. I would recommend a pretty gradual transition especially if you don't plan to nightwean. But it sounds like she's *telling* you that she's not quite ready to be in a "big girl" bed yet, that you need to work with her on transitions and get her used to a new routine.

I'd really love to hear more why you are afraid she'd fall out of your bed, and try to brainstorm about ways to make it safer! I truly think that's the easiest option that will lead to the most sleep for everyone in your family. :)

[malakoa]

I'd really love to hear more why you are afraid she'd fall out of your bed, and try to brainstorm about ways to make it safer! I truly think that's the easiest option that will lead to the most sleep for everyone in your family. :)

She's co-slept with me since I fell asleep nursing her and woke up at 8 the next morning because she latched herself on. Aw, the sweetness of my baby girl.

Our bed is kind of high off the ground. She snuggles in fine, but last time she spent the night in the bed, and I left in the morning - she was side ways on the bed, with her head at the edge.... :-(