DH is is where he is today because he was spanked

[Can Dance]

referring to my husband by my MIL. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

I was trying to explain this idea to her. I said ITS NOT PERMISSIVE PARENTING. she said IT SOUNDS LIKE PERMISSIVE PARENTING. I said NO, its looking for more creative ways of discipling your child.
EWWWWW.

She said, WHAT IS THE UNDERLYING PHILOSOPHY? I said THAT WE GIVE GRACE TO OUR CHILDREN AS GOD GIVES GRACE TO US, NOT SPANKING IS ONLY A SMALL PART OF IT.

I also said THIS IS NOT COMMENTING AT ALL ON YOUR PARENTING STYLES, which lead her to the above comment.

:td :td :td :banghead :banghead :banghead

And why oh why would I want to HIT MY CHILD when she is told to not hit me when she does it?? (which by the way, she just started)

so yeah, it looks like dd staying with them is not looking so good at any point. at least I can tell my mum straight out DO NOT SPANK MY CHILD. she gets it more than when we were kids.

I also tried to make it clear it was not a personal attack on her parenting, but now I am wondering if she took it that way....

just had to vent.
C

[ArmsOfLove]

:hug it can be really hard--especially when you're just sharing something and suddenly getting attacked :shifty

Definately time to set some boundaries!

[nutmeggmama]

unfortunately, when the lightbulb goes off in your head, and you have the "ah-ha!" moment, it is very difficult for everyone else involved in your life to see it. It's frustrating, because you have the whole mental journey in your head, and no one else really has that. It was really hard for my IL's to not take it personally when I deviated fromt there experience, because in a way, you are saying they are wrong. But in the end, I think we all want the same things for our kids, and hopefully you can share that respectfully. Its hard, because what you think (that you have no feelings about their style of parenting) is just not what they see. ((Hugs)) its very frustrating, and many of us have been there.
In the end, its not about them, its about your family.
:shrug
:hug2
:)

[Radosny Matka]

:rolleyes :hug

[herbalwriter]

Meggan's really got it...others just didn't take the mental journey you did, and therefore, they just don't understand.

I had this struggle with my ex MIL...my ex has Crohn's, and I had a hard time explaining to my ex MIL that I was breastfeeding despite major difficulties because I didn't was ds to get Crohn's, and not making it sound like she caused my ex's Crohn's by bottle feeding. It still continues now when I try to explain why he eats such healthy foods and is still breastfeeding. It's tough because then when things go great (ds is SO healthy, the total opposite of his dad), you don't get any credit because then it makes the others look wrong. :doh So I know a bit about what you mean. :hug