Our Cycles/Our Daughters

[sarahtar]

How did your mother present menstruation to you? Do you want to present it any differently to your daughters if you have any?



My mom presented it to me as a really yuky part of being a woman, who knows why God did this to us, and I should be grateful she said anything because my aunt's mother (my grandmother) never told her anything about it and she thought she was rusting when she found blood in her panties.

I hope to tell my daughters, if I have any, that their cycles are wonderful and tell them how all the different hormones interact to create what is really an amazing system.

[cannuke]

My mom sat me down when I was about 10 and explained that periods were messy but necessary and here's how to use pads. I started when I was 12, so I had 2 years for this very embarassing explanation to sink in. I wasn't allowed to use tampons until I had been menstruating for two years. As a dancer, that sucked. :td

The funny thing was, the pads that she showed me were ones that she used when she last had a period. She had a complete hysterectomy when I was 5 (1981), so she was showing me pads that were about 2 inches thick and had to be fastened using a belt. Very "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret". :/ By the time I actually started my period (1987), I don't think you could even find those kind in the store. :laughtears I was so confused!

I have no idea how my grandmother presented periods to my mom and her two sisters. I should ask. :think My grandmother was pretty plain spoken, so I can only assume that she told it like it is! :highfive

I didn't ever get any explanation about how my body had a period, per se, until I took science classes at school and they explained some of the hormone stuff. It wasn't until almost three years ago that I bought TCOYF and figured it out. I'm so amazed at how wonderfully it all works.

I don't know if this baby is a girl or not, but if it is, then I'll certainly explain things differently than my mom did. It doesn't need to be presented as an icky part of life, 'cause it's not. It's amazing and wonderful. :)

[Irene]

yeah I want to explain that its wonderful. I like what TCOYF says about how we are taught that our cycles revolve around the period, but really, its about ovulation :tu

my mom explained things in a very scientific way ;) but not on a personal level. and very mysterious, so I never told her when I started because it was too embarrassing/private etc.

I think I mostly just want to teach like as time goes on... you know? not a sit down and have the talk sort of thing, jsut being open and stuff.
she freaked out thislast period because she saw the Diva come out with blood then me putting it back in.. that wasnt a very good plan, but I cant use the bathroom without an audience ;) she was freaked out that the cup *made* me bleed and stuff.. ugh.

I dont know, and I want to celebrate it with her, do a pretty basket, a date withmom etc.... :) just make it happy instead of yucky and something you *have* to deal with.

[BeckaBlue]

i agree about the not jsut one sit down, but over time

kenzie has a grasp on it. i dont think at 5yo she needs much more, as time goes on, ill teach her more about it (i did get pretty detailed the second time she asked, but i know she didnt hold onto all that info :giggle)

[GodChick]

mom taught me it was just an annoying, messy part of being a woman a year or two befor AF started.. i read "are you there god it's me margaret" and how the girls were so happy about it because it meant they were growing up, so when i did start, i told my mom i was "so happy" about it andf she looked at me like i was nuts and said, "it's nice you feel that way about it now--in a few months, you won't."

i hope to model for my daughters that it's a blessing that our bodies were made this way so we can have the gift of children.

[Radosny Matka]

My mom taught me nothing, really. I learned everything in school. Not the way I want my dd (if I ever have one) to learn about it. I actually would want my teen to read "Taking charge of your fertility" because there is so much good information in there.

[GodChick]

I actually would want my teen to read "Taking charge of your fertility" because there is so much good information in there.

Ditto!! What a wealth of information. Reading it totally changed my views of being a woman--my cycles are no longer just something that happens TO me while I'm uninvolved and uninformed.

[beccafromlalaland]

My Mom asked her sister to talk to me :giggle So Aunt Marsha took Me and her Daughter (we are 2wks apart in age) into her bedroom and explained the birds and the bees and told us that there was a box of maxi pads in her bedroom closet if we needed them. That is was a normal part of growing up and nothing to be ashamed or afraid of.

[kycanonist]

My mom started out in the sex ed. dept pretty early with us... there used to be a wonderful book series entitled something like "wonderfully made"... I'm not sure.. .it was back in the 1970's, so I don't remember much about it... "fearfully and wonderfully made" maybe? I don't remember...

Anywho, so when the time came, she was pretty open about introducing me to pads and tampons. It just wasn't that big of a deal. She didn't make a huge issue of it but didn't write it off as terrible either...

I wish I had more information about my cycles... I didn't learn any of that until I became Catholic and then prepared for marriage. That's when I really got to know my own body, which is sad b/c there are fertility problems in my family and I have all sorts of cycle issues.

I know that I will introduce Alex slowly to the concept of her reproductive cycle, but I definitely want her to know more than I did. :)

Jacqui

[mama2grace]

I was 10 when I got 'the talk'. It was the summer before 5th grade. 3 weeks after 'the talk' AF showed up. :eek I secretly blamed my mom; I guess I thought if she hadn't have told me about all of it, maybe it wouldn't have happened so soon. Mama was surprised, too, but intuition must have made her talk to me. 10 is so young. I really hope my dd doesn't develop so early. She's only 2 now, I can't imagine her becoming a woman in 8 years!

About my talk. Mama was still kind of fresh out of nursing school, I think a year or two, at most. So I got an in depth, medical explaination of everything including diagrams and pictures from her textbooks of all female and male parts. She was a labor & delivery nurse so I'm sure we talked about pg and birth a little, too. I think she was mostly positive. I remember just being kind of uncomfortable and wanting to go play. She did her best though and that's all I can hope to do with my dd.

I also look forward to sharing TCOYF with my dd. I wonder if there is a shorter, kind of modified version for teenage girls/young women without the TTC/ not TTC stuff. I think the mere size of TCOYF would scare a kid away from reading any of it.

[Irene]

I remember wanting to play too! I just didnt get why my mom had me inside surrounded by books as I was watching my brothers outside playing!!!!

[sarahtar]

I'm hoping to include TCOYF as part of our HS learning, actually. It would be great if there's a kid version that's, uh, geared towards a slightly younger and not sexually active audience.

[LauraK]

I mostly learned about it at school. They seperated the boys and the girls in like 5th grade and we got a talk about menstruation and stuff. I was confused though from the presentation as I thought once it started it never stopped!! I was confused why women could swim because they said unless you use tampons you can't swim when you have your period.

I recall starting and not wanting to tell my Mom. I was in 6th grade and hated talking to my parents about anything. I think she saw a stain on my panties when she did laundry and then bought me more pads and gave them to me. I was jealous of my friends whose mom's had given them "starter baskets" with pads and stuff in there and a book. I want to do that for my daughters when the time gets closer. I hope that my dd does not feel the way I felt. I was really a messed up kid and could not talk to my parents at all.

I plan on telling them about my period when the time comes. I have maybe had two since my dd now 2.5 was born and have not had a period yet since my 2nd was born. They'll see me use the bathroom when it returns and I'll start talking to them about it then. I rarely have bathroom privacy so that is a good teaching opportunity.

I need to get and read TCOYF myself! Sounds like such a good book.

[Irene]

yeah I would like a more kid friendly book about it too. I think I will also use it as part of HSing :tu I want my son to learn about it too, because my dh is sooooooo clueless sometimes and I have to explain things to him all the time because he used to think every woman had their period on the 28th day of the month :doh :laughtears watch out world! anyway, its like its just stuck in his head because of what he learned, so I want both kids to know for real!

[GodChick]

he used to think every woman had their period on the 28th day of the month

:spit http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/otn/realhappy/yllol.gif

using tcoyf for hs is a great idea!!

[raquel]

I've seen a book that my Mum bought and gave to my younger sister called "Just for Girls" and it had a companion book called "Just for Moms". It dealt with a lot of the stuff teenage girls go through but I remember being impressed with it's info on cervical fluid. It doesn't talk about basal body temperatures but I'm not sure it's essential a teen girl knows that. If we have a girl I'll explain the whole cycle and not just the AF comes once a month thing. I think if a girl can take notice of her CF and mark it on a calender or something she'll feel a little less scared that AF is about to turn up anyday. That's the thing I wish I'd been told...that AF isn't this unexpected visitor that comes knocking without any warning. If we're in tune with our bodies there can be warning! :) TCOYF is great!

[Close2MyHeart]

Mom sat me down and explained out the whole ovulation process, then the period and why is happens, etc. I was well informed. However, she said tampons were 'icky' and you just didn't use them... in college I realized I LOVED them. lol.

I would love for Karah to read TCOYF when she's a teenager, but matt is concerned w/the sexual part of it because we use it for preventing and he doesn't want her to know how to use it for that until she's married. :giggle (Basically just doesn't want to think of his girl being sexually active!!) Maybe by the time she's a teenager there will be a more kid-friendly version. Come to think of it, if she's like the rest of the family she'll need to read it before she's a teenager. :/

[Irene]

I struggle with "too much knowledge = sexually active kids" but I think its the opposite. I know for me, I didnt know much and so that led me to finding out :/ I still struggle with it though.

[Boys and Angels]

Laughing, because my mother never DID explain it yet!!!! Yeesh! I got my first period at summer camp and a NUN had to explain it to me. Go figure. And I'm also laughing at the post-er who mentioned the pads with the belts, etc. Yep, those are what I found when I went looking through the bathroom when it was my turn. Then a couple of months later, when I went looking again, my mother gave me $3.00 and I went to the corner and had to buy my own. With that kind of a background, you can imagine how embarrassed and humiliated I was. I remember the first box I bought. Big fat Moddess pads.

I have sons only. 13 and 11. They are totally up to par on the subject. They are friends and cousins, sons, and some day will be husbands and perhaps fathers to women. They understand the scientific/biological function of the monthly cysle and the emotional ups and downs associated with it. My 13 year old could probably give a class on Natural Family Planning. No silliness, no embarrassment, no avoiding the issue. It started when they were little boys, evolving out of conversations and things going on in the house. My husband is the one who has sometimes been uncomfortable at being caught off guard, but even HE addresses these things with them!

[beccafromlalaland]

She's writing a book for teens

http://www.tcoyf.com/teenbook.asp

[Close2MyHeart]

She's writing a book for teens

http://www.tcoyf.com/teenbook.asp




that's great!! I will probably read it and see if it's something I'd give to my kiddos. Even my sister if Mom says yes... she's 11 now and getting close to that age! :P