some thoughts on helping our children fall asleep

[herbalwriter]

You know what occurred to me recently? In our culture, we are told not to help our children fall asleep with singing, rocking, nursing, etc., because they may become "dependent" on it, and they should learn to "soothe themselves" and sleep on their own. What I find so skewed about this (besides the fact that it goes against what mothers have instinctively done for millennia) is that it is perfectly culturally acceptable to help our children with all the other basics of life: eating, bathing, using the potty, getting dressed, tying their shoes, walking, etc., but we are not supposed to help them with sleep! What is up with that???

[MomToDM]

Good point, I completely agree. We have always helped ds go to sleep and plan to continue doing so until he doesn't need it anymore. Plus it gives us some wind down time together that is usually enjoyable (except for the nights that he decides he's going to throw a fit!)

[milkmommy]

I rocked and nursed my DD to bed till I simpily couldn't (holding would make her cranky) even now even though she sleeps in her own room in her own bed and honestly all I HAVE to do is say go get into bed and go to sleep. Yet I sing to her every night I read to her every evening. Why? Because I love her I want her to know people treat people with kindness. A simple thing I strongly feel is missing in todays society.

Deanna

[Radosny Matka]

:shrug Good question. I don't get it either.

[Irene]

good point. Im feeling very disollusioned by AP lately though. not the idea of it, but just the promises of "oh just snuggle your baby to sleep" or "oh just nurse the baby to sleep" or all that stuff along those lines. but life sometimes just doesnt happen that easily.

[herbalwriter]

good point. Im feeling very disollusioned by AP lately though. not the idea of it, but just the promises of "oh just snuggle your baby to sleep" or "oh just nurse the baby to sleep" or all that stuff along those lines. but life sometimes just doesnt happen that easily.

I know what you mean here...ds stopped being "just nursed to sleep" some time ago. Now I lie down with him and nurse him, but he has to have about 20 minutes of "wind down" time where he goofs off and climbs around on me and such...then he comes back to the side-carred crib where I am patiently waiting, and sometimes he will do another nurse to sleep, but more often than not he'll just get slower and slower like one of those nature shows where they hit the animal with the tranquilizer dart, and then he just falls asleep. He just needs my presence, basically. And he doesn't reliably nurse to sleep for naps, either. I have learned to just go with the flow...he'll sleep, or he won't, and those are the only 2 choices. Like all parenting, AP is never totally predictable! :hug to you.

I appreciate all the replies...it looks like I am not the only one thinking along these lines, and that's always comforting to know! :grin

[Havilah]

good point. Im feeling very disollusioned by AP lately though. not the idea of it, but just the promises of "oh just snuggle your baby to sleep" or "oh just nurse the baby to sleep" or all that stuff along those lines. but life sometimes just doesnt happen that easily.


Irene, I could just hug you. I'm disillusioned, too. I don't regret meeting James' needs, and I don't wish I'd put him in a crib to CIO... but I wish I'd tried harder to gently sleep more independently. We're working so hard to make things better, but I frustrated and resentful :(

[tiglet]

good point. Im feeling very disollusioned by AP lately though. not the idea of it, but just the promises of "oh just snuggle your baby to sleep" or "oh just nurse the baby to sleep" or all that stuff along those lines. but life sometimes just doesnt happen that easily.


I'm with you, too. I still think we're doing the right thing - but, honestly, it isn't very easy. Sometimes I feel like saying "Well, if you're going to cry anyway, and not sleep, even though you're tired, I may as well not nurse you (and keep getting bitten)/hold you/walk you around, etc."

[herbalwriter]

Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing...

[ArmsOfLove]

Elizabeth--I'm truly touched by both your first and your last posts in this thread. Thank you :hug

[Maggie]

Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing...

You've got that right! I agree with your first post, too. :)

[Irene]

I absolutely agree that we are to help them learn to sleep, and no parenting is never easy, nor do I expect it to be. but its also hard to be a top parent when your so stinking tired.

not he'll just get slower and slower like one of those nature shows where they hit the animal with the tranquilizer dart my kids speed up and get more and more wild.

he'll sleep, or he won't, mostly wont, then I dont sleep either. and Im dealing with a screaming overtired child.

[Cheyenne]

:hug I can totally understand.

[herbalwriter]

Elizabeth--I'm truly touched by both your first and your last posts in this thread. Thank you :hug


Thank you Crystal...that means a lot to me. :heart

Irene, God bless you...sleep problems are so hard. I went through that with ds when he was younger and we'll probably go through it again. When they get overtired they are IMPOSSIBLE and you want to leave them on a curb with a sign around their neck, "Free to Good Home!" ...okay, maybe not that drastic. But I know what you're saying. :hug2