Radosny Matka
07-08-2005, 09:29 AM
I am a little puzzled by my son's behavior lately. He tries to hurt me. I don't know why - if he is using me as an escape for some feelings (maybe related to the new sibling), if he just gets carried away in play, if he is testing his ability to cause hurt to others, if he is testing me in general, or what is going on.
He went through a stage where he tried to pinch me. He seems to be over that for the most part. I handled that by redirecting him to pinching his shirt or a blanket. Then he tried to kick me everytime I put on his naptime/bedtime diaper. I handled that by sitting on his legs until I felt safe. Then when he wanted his bedtime story, I told him that I spent all my engery keeping from being kicked and that I had none left to read a story. That ended real fast. Two naps and 1 night without a story cured that fast. Now he is pulling my hair. OUCH! I did notice that he did it one time, and he got a couple pieces of my hair (my hair is shedding like crazy postpartum). I think that fascinated him. We were playing on the bed - kind of wrestling-pillow fighting - when he pulled it. I said, "ouch. That hurts, stop." He did it a couple more times when I said, "I don't like having my hair pulled. I am done playing." Then I left the room. He followed me and managed to pull my hair again. I took the offending arm and pushed him (not hurtfully) to the floor. He starting crying and said, "you hurt my feelings" to which I responded, "I'm sorry your feelings are hurt. It makes me angry when you pull my hair." After that, he dried his eyes and was fine. I have noticed that he does these things most often when we are engaged in physical play. I am glad that he is doing this to me and not the baby. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is this normal 4 year old behavior? He certainly is far from being out of control and this doesn't happen daily. Other than it happening most when we are involved in physical play, and I can't find much ryhmn or reason to it. :shrug
He went through a stage where he tried to pinch me. He seems to be over that for the most part. I handled that by redirecting him to pinching his shirt or a blanket. Then he tried to kick me everytime I put on his naptime/bedtime diaper. I handled that by sitting on his legs until I felt safe. Then when he wanted his bedtime story, I told him that I spent all my engery keeping from being kicked and that I had none left to read a story. That ended real fast. Two naps and 1 night without a story cured that fast. Now he is pulling my hair. OUCH! I did notice that he did it one time, and he got a couple pieces of my hair (my hair is shedding like crazy postpartum). I think that fascinated him. We were playing on the bed - kind of wrestling-pillow fighting - when he pulled it. I said, "ouch. That hurts, stop." He did it a couple more times when I said, "I don't like having my hair pulled. I am done playing." Then I left the room. He followed me and managed to pull my hair again. I took the offending arm and pushed him (not hurtfully) to the floor. He starting crying and said, "you hurt my feelings" to which I responded, "I'm sorry your feelings are hurt. It makes me angry when you pull my hair." After that, he dried his eyes and was fine. I have noticed that he does these things most often when we are engaged in physical play. I am glad that he is doing this to me and not the baby. Does anyone have any suggestions? Is this normal 4 year old behavior? He certainly is far from being out of control and this doesn't happen daily. Other than it happening most when we are involved in physical play, and I can't find much ryhmn or reason to it. :shrug