GRRR - Got baby torture advice on Saturday

[cannuke]

We were over at a friend's b'day on Saturday and his mom was there - I'd never met the woman before. So here comes the "I know better than you" advice. :banghead

She told me her opinion on the best way to get your kids "trained" to not cry at suppertime (in her opinion, the only consistent hour of the day that EVERY baby cries inconsolably). Apparently it is to scratch the bottom of their feet enough to cause pain at starting at about 1pm EVERY DAY long enough so that they can't take an afternoon nap. :cry Then they are so tired (from being tortured all afternoon) that they sleep right through supper. And presto, after a couple of days of this, you've got yourself a "perfect" baby and you can eat dinner like adults. Some nurse told her this when my friend was born almost 40 years ago.

Where in heaven's name does this stuff come from? And why do I seem to look like I want to hear it? :hissyfit I was so mad that I sat there and squeezed DH's fingers until they almost broke. And the worst part? Every time I :beandip 'd her she came back to the same topic! :mad
We finally just left.

Oh, and she's of the opinion that babies who are constantly picked up are at a higher risk of dying of SIDS and that babies should be left to cry for long stretches because it's good for their lungs. I know that babies cry sometimes, it just happens. But to leave them for certain periods of time because you think it's GOOD for them!!??

Maybe I should just stay home if I'm this much of a magnet for cr*ppy advice. :bheart

[Chris3jam]

to cry for long stretches because it's good for their lungs.

Hmph. I would have said something to the effect that, "Yes, it's good for the lungs, just like slitting the vein in your wrist and letting you bleed for a while is good for your circulation. It's antiquated medical advice like this that killed George Washington." You want to hear a *real* horror story? Read "My First 300 Babies". This book was given to me by a mother of 6, and she revered it. I'm sorry, I would have lost any Christian witness in 'engaging' her. I would have asked her, also, "And where did you get your medical degree in pediatrics?", and/or "And to which medical research/study are you referring?", and/or "And where did you go to medical school?", and/or "Ah! THe medieval toture method! That would include dunking disobedient children into boiling oil, eh?". Etc.

[Lois]

:laughtears...dunking in oil!!!!!

[ShangriLewis]

What does this man think of his mom?

Disgusting.

[Wonder Woman]

:banghead :hissyfit :banghead :hissyfit :bheart

:hugheart

[ArmsOfLove]

See, now I'd have told the woman that was absolutely horrid and was she really serious??? I'd not have been able to hide my disgust at that :shrug

[mamaKristin]

See now I think I would have just started laughing, hysterically....since that *advice* is so beyond stupid! Thinking that there is no way she could be serious...besides, there is no way that would have *helped* with DS - he would fight sleep and then be a total bear...

Oh and when she told me (after I stopped laughing) that she was serious, I may have just said that that was the sickest thing I had heard in ages. Just like I did to a woman at our church last week when she told me that on a car ride with her kids, she stopped the car to pick up a large branch to threaten her kids with. I laughed at it, thinking she was joking...but she wasn't...so I told her I thought it was twisted to do that. :td Sometimes, I can't help but laugh because I just want to cry to think of little ones being subjected to this junk.

[MarynMunchkins]

:sick That's horrible!! :bheart

And I agree with Crystal - I would have said something to express my disgust. :td The thought, "You sick, twisted woman! How hard is it to eat dinner when the baby's not crying?!" :mad

[Lantern Light Mama]

justtttttttttttttttttttttttttttt ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww is all

[cannuke]

I'm glad to know it's not in my head due to pg hormones! :tu Thanks for confirming what I thought.

The only way that I can think of describing this woman is "dippy". In Canada, there's a certain stereotyping of people from the Atlantic provinces that happens. Turns out, this woman is from somewhere in the middle of nowhere in Nova Scotia. My apologies to anyone from the Atlantic provinces -she really was what you see on 22 Minutes (http://www.22minutes.com/index_2.html) and the like :rolleyes . That's probably the only reason that I didn't really go off on her. I just couldn't possibly take her seriously with the way she was so earnest about giving me "advice". :/ I've met some very good people from out east, but she was just such a caricature.

My friend has turned out very well, all things considered. They've got a great family and are some of the most committed Christians that I've met. In spite of the parenting.

On a good note, DH wanted to know why it bothered me so much and asked me how the air was up on my soapbox. ;) His answer to that type of advice is always "we're not ever going to do something that stupid, so I'm not going to listen". Gotta love that man! :heart I'm not so good at letting it go.

[hsgbdmama]

:eek

I would also go with the "Can you..." type questions:


Can you direct me to some valid SCIENTIFIC research on this?
Can you tell me where you received your MEDICAL degree?
Can you tell me which PROFESSIONAL associations (such as the American Academy of Pediatrics) advocate these methods? If they do, can you direct me to the publications where they have advocated them?


:banghead

[domesticzookeeper]

:hissyfit :bheart

I think I would have just stared in abject horror :eek, before excusing myself to go cry... :blush

[Titus2:5Catholic]

On a good note, DH wanted to know why it bothered me so much and asked me how the air was up on my soapbox. ;) His answer to that type of advice is always "we're not ever going to do something that stupid, so I'm not going to listen". Gotta love that man! :heart I'm not so good at letting it go.


I think, at least for me, I see my child's face whenever I hear a story like that, and it makes me ill. I don't think men have that same reaction.

[Tulip_Plus_3]

This makes me sick, just sick. So sick, in fact, that I have to ask: Is this legal? I mean that, is it legal to do that to your baby? Honestly, it seems to me that this constitutes actual child abuse, the kind that's defined in laws and would subject a person to arrest & prosecution.

[Kiera]

:cry It's truly a selfish person that would do something like this =/

[Maggie]

:cry It's truly a selfish person that would do something like this =/

Amen to that! That advice is ridiculous, horrible and abusive! I can't believe the things people think are OK to do to babies and children! :eek :banghead :hissyfit :cry

[purplerose]

What a sicko!!!! :td :madWhere do people even fathom this stuff! And then try it on a baby~~~~~~` :sick2 IMO, dinnertime is for the WHOLE family, crying babies and all!!!!! I would've told her she was crazy!!!! :td :td :td

[GodisGood]

See, now I'd have told the woman that was absolutely horrid and was she really serious??? I'd not have been able to hide my disgust at that :shrug


I totally agree. I would have said probably said "are you serious?!" "What half wit told you that?!"

[Oliveshoots]

I think I honestly would have said "Oh, dinner is no problem for me....I just nurse her right there at the table, dh cuts my food up for me, and we're good to go!" Actually, it has almost come to the point where if I"m NOT nursing her when we are out to eat, I feel like I'm missing something. LOL. And she nurses longer and gets more full when I nurse during a meal, I think because I'm more relaxed, and not moving much, and not talking much, so she can relax and get a nice complete meal. Sorry that's veering a bit off topic there.

I think that is SUCH a mean practice. Such a sensitive place and then to scratch them there??? That is just mean mean mean.

[CelticJourney]

I wonder sometimes if these 'grandma types' are so removed from mothering, that they say bizarre things that they never would have done with their own babies. We can hope at least.

[J3K]

My father's aunt (my great aunt) came for a family visit. She noticed my son (then just shy of three) sucking his thumb. She kept prying his thumb away from his mouth. Sorta like I did only nastier. ( I would gently say 'here's a cloth to dry your thumb" or "let's give your thumb a break") Never FORCING the thumb out of his mouth.

I'd had enough of her yanking my son's thumb I finally spoke up. "He's fine to suck his thumb. He's nervous around new people". She says "you know how I got my youngest to stop sucking his thumb ? I put his arms in a brace at night that wouldn't let him bend his elbows. Then he started sucking during the day. One full day of school in his arm braces though and he was teased enough he didn't suck anymore".

I sat there with my mouth open. I said " and where is your son today ? when was the last time you talked to him ?"

I knew good and well her son left at the tender age of fifteen and hadn't contacted his mother in the last twenty years.

[gamomof2]

:eek :mad :sick2 :cry