entering children's rooms

[flowermama]

My two girls have one bedroom, and my older son has one bedroom (which he will share with his brother when he is older).

There are times when the older two children (one brother and one sister) don't want the other in their room.

Right now the rule is that the can go in each others rooms, but that they need to leave when their sibling asks them to leave. They don't always want to leave, though. :/

I'm wondering ... should we have them knock before they enter their sibs room and ask if it's okay to enter? or if the door is open, should it be okay to enter, but to knock if it is closed? would that be too many rules? or would that be polite?

What if they don't leave when the other one asks them to leave? In the past I've said that means that they lose the priviledge of being in their sibs room for awhile if they don't leave when their sib asks, but I don't know if that is the best way to handle it.

And what if the sibling asking the other sib to leave doesn't ask politely? What if they yell "GET OUT!" or that type of thing. That seems rude. :/ How should I handle that?

Do you think they have a right to ask the sib to leave for any reason? like what if they are just annoyed at their sib and so they ask them to leave for that reason?

How do you handle these things in your own home? I need some ideas, please, if you'd like to share them. I'm feeling rather clueless at the moment.

[ShowersofBlessings]

Hmmm, tough questions Jeri.

I like the idea about knocking before entering (especially if the door is closed). You could start teaching them about privacy. (What if one sibling is getting dressed?) Also do you believe in letting them just have a private time to be alone? :shrug Some people really need this time. You could explain that too. (S/he just needs some quiet time to think/cool down/ whatever.)

I think that your logical consequences for refusing to leave sound good. I think that if a sibling asks in a rude way (yells) then you could have that sibling do a do-over. (Please ask politely....) HTH

[MarynMunchkins]

I have my kids knock before they go into the other's room. :) If they yell the first time, I have them try again. If they yell after asking nicely and being ignored, I moved the offending child out of the room. :rolleyes I usually have them either wait to be invited into the room or apologize and ask to come back in (with an offer of a toy or game to share) before they are allowed back in. :)

This is a big hot spot for us right now. :)

[Tex]

I only have one DC so I will give you my limited answer :)

At our house, if the door is closed it is knocked on, no matter what door it is. If the door is open it means c'mon in.

[amytech]

We have the same rule...
If the door is closed, you must knock before entering. If it is open, you may come on in. This also stops some arguments before they happen if the child whose room it is wants to be left alone, they can just close the door and avoid the whole "Get out of here!" before it ever happens! :rolleyes

[CelticJourney]

I'm wondering ... should we have them knock before they enter their sibs room and ask if it's okay to enter? or if the door is open, should it be okay to enter, but to knock if it is closed? would that be too many rules? or would that be polite?

Definitely knock. If for no other reason than they will learn this bit of manners now. We do a door open = come in, door closed = please knock. My oldest is 10 and you may or may not be surprised the things girls develop to be private about between 9 and 10, so if you start the rule now, it may avoid problems in the near future.

Do you think they have a right to ask the sib to leave for any reason? like what if they are just annoyed at their sib and so they ask them to leave for that reason?

I'm a little territorial about my personal space, so I would say yes. I try to tell my girls, if they can't get along, go to your own space and have some time playing alone. So it would a catch22 if one could not ask the other to leave. Disclaimer: I have an older brother and we never shared a room and my girls have never shared a room, so I may be a lone nut job about personal space.