Investing in your children or spoiling them?

[purplerose]

I'm not sure where to put those, so please move if not in the right place. But my question is this? Am I spoiling my children or am I investing in their future and welfare? What I mean is this.....Our church teaches to have your home be a fun place for kids to want to be......have fun toys, games, fun music playing, fun movies, lots of activities. Basically a place where they WANT to be! :tu A place where OTHER (meaning thier friends) kids want to be! That way you know where they are and what they are doing. I LOVE having my kids at home! Other kids come over to play and they don't want to leave!!!! My kids have an abundance of stuff......toys (inside and outside), games, playdough, painting, music, movies. There is ALWAYS soemthing to do here. My kids NEVER complain about being bored!!! :mrgreen They LOVE :heart to be at home and just play! I think I'm doing the right thing by making our home a "fun and safe place to be", but am I overindulging them? Some friends and family members say yes, others say NO WAY! That home should be where you always want to be. What do you guys think?! Any thoughts, advice, tips, etc would be greatly appreciated!!!! Thanks!!! :hearts

[joystrength]

Sally Clarkson and her husband Clay have written books that advocate making your home attractive/inviting and welcoming and your children's favorite place to be. Two books I know of where this is mentioned are Heartfelt Discipline and The Mission of Motherhood. Makes good sense to me. My kids love to be at home, they run through the rooms and "greet" things, etc. when we get home from a few days away. THey ask to go home (at least my DS does) when he's feeling stressed, etc. Home SHOULD be a sanctuary from chaos, etc., IMO. However, that peace/serenity doesn't mean loads of material possessions, and that limit is different for everyone. I try to keep things somewhat neat so my home will be inviting if my kids want frends over, etc. Actually, they're a little young to ask, but I"m practicing for "one day."
I think if toys/etc are replacing time with YOU, then that's where you cross the line to "spoiling."

[purplerose]

I see what you are saying. I try to play these games, toys, etc with them when I can. But sometimes I will just want them to go and play so i can get stuff done, KWIM? And there are times when they want me to play with them, but other times that they don't. I think what I should do, is rotate the toys out every few months so it doens't seem like so much to others! :heart

[ArmsOfLove]

I think that all of that fun needs to be balanced with responsibilities. Otherwise I agree--I want my house to be a "house of yeses" and would love it to be, as the kids get older, a place where they and their friends love to be :hearts

[MarynMunchkins]

:shrug Things only spoil when you leave them alone to rot. :P

I expect my kids to play alone at times too, but I don't ignore them all day either. :)

[ServantofGod]

I think it's great that you want your home to be the kind of place where kids (yours and others) want to be. :tu Don't forget, though, that it doesn't necessarily take extensive *things* for that to be the case, yk?

I think my MIL has been very successful in doing this. A large part of what makes her home like this is her hospitality. She is always welcoming. She is never uptight about something might get dirty or ruined or whatever. If you are there near a mealtime, you're gonna get fed! :yum