For us newbies

[Titus2:5Catholic]

Amytug's thread made me think of this....maybe you exprienced GBD moms could write some of your favorite ideas for dealing with discipline issues. I realize there is tons of sites, etc. but I'm thinking everyone could write what does work for them, especially if they have a tool that works with "tough" situations, like hitting, biting, tantrums, etc.

Examples would be:
The Five Steps
Comfort corner
redirection

Just post them like that, as a list, with a short explanation or link as to what it is. That way, those of us who are new, when we're in a situation, can have some ideas in the back of our head instead of a knee-jerk "spanking" reaction.

[jujubnme]

When I was first starting, this link was really helpful to me:

Respectful Discipline Tools (http://www.peakpeak.com/~mstroyan/parenting/index_list.htm)

[godsgracegiven]

I love this idea :)
some of our favorites are:
options, my 3 yo loves options, she like to feel part of whats going on.
For hitting, bitting or pushing we use the, you hit you sit rule.
For tantrums, we like using the reflecting and validating tool, as well as breathing exercises.
Role playing
modeling behavior
teaching them to pitch in w/ messies
and prayer, prayer, prayer :pray

[TulipMama]

Hug and Pray.


This is my "first line reaction" to almost any discipline situation, especially ones that start making me feel tense, stressed, or angry. It's hard to stay tense while snuggling a precious child. Sometimes I pray aloud to have wisdom, sometimes I pray silently. The hugging time is like a bulldozer that clears away all the upset feelings (a word picture Crystal once used that I found described my experience!) After we hug and snuggle and pray, it is much easier to address whatever areas where getting out of hand.

[Winkie]

I love that TulipMama! question though - do you pray silently or out loud?

[made4more]

Sometimes I pray aloud to have wisdom, sometimes I pray silently.

:grin

[ShowersofBlessings]

Saying "bye-bye" when we have to leave. For example, "Say 'bye-bye' to the slide," when we are leaving the park. :mrgreen

[Titus2:5Catholic]

When I was first starting, this link was really helpful to me:

Respectful Discipline Tools (http://www.peakpeak.com/~mstroyan/parenting/index_list.htm)


Thank you so much! That was the first thing I've read that I felt comfortable emailing to my DH to read.

[ellies mom]

I lurked here for a while before I joined. This was one of the first things I read.


i was discussing the learning without spanking thread with dh last night, particularly the part about how whatever you choose to do to explain something is off limits to the child, be it spanking or verbally reminding and removing, it has to be done many times. His theory is that children's brains are designed for this. He explained that it always amazes him how babies will fall down 100 times while learning to walk, but they ignore the "negative consequence" and get right back up. How else would they learn to walk? To him, this explains why we have to redirect children/babies so many times. If they stopped doing what we didn't want them to do after one spanking or verbal reminder/redirection, they would never demonstrate the persistence to learn to walk, or any other skill they need. He said he believes this is why we should not be frustrated with having to repeat ourselves as parents, but rather we should appreciate the way nature has designed the brains of children (he's an atheist, he won't say God designed it :neutral ) and how it explains their need for many redirections.

I was amazed at how insightful this was. I was also amazed at how just changing a "label" in my mind really helped me deal with DD's behavior in a more positive manner. Instead of viewing her persistance as misbehavior, I could view it as a "good" thing that is helping her grow.

The other thing I read here first that got me really thinking is the "Why Not Time-outs" sticky. That thread really got me thinking about the whole "do unto others" thing, and that how I would want to be treated is how I should treat my child.

I don't really have any real advice, but these two bits were really eye-opening to me and stay pretty close in my mind as I deal with my child on a daily basis.

[joyful mama]

Thanks for all the tips, ladies! I'm a newbie here, too, and am really enjoying this forum very much, as I think it speaks to my heart :heart. It's difficult sometimes, especially coming from a punitive background/thought process. I see the results already this week, in me and my dd. My dd seems happier, getting better at listening, etc. I, on the other hand, seem to have a lot more patience with her. So, thank you all! :grouphug

God Bless