baby had to cry to go to sleep

[malakoa]

hey is this one of those red flag lines "it's just that my baby has to cry to go to sleep and it bothers me more than it bothers her"?

[Wonder Woman]

ummm - yeah. that's just :bheart

[Joanne]

hey is this one of those red flag lines "it's just that my baby has to cry to go to sleep and it bothers me more than it bothers her"?

Often, but not always. Some babies *do* cry to transition into sleep. It's one way a baby processes all the stimulation.

But the fact that some babies cry into sleep does not mean they need to cry alone, abandoned.

[Lilly_of the_ Fields]

Oooh, yeah - that's a red flag alright! There are alot of assumptions about how a baby thinks/feels there.

"It bothers me more than it bothers her" implies the baby's crying is some seperate entity whose existence the baby is not in the least emotionally concerned by. I've often wondered how people who think babies crying is "just lung exercise"/"not actually so bad" ignore the basic biology of increased heart rate, stress hormonese etc., changes in brain function in the limbic system - the part that activates our fight or flight reflex etc. I mean, it's not like the baby is just thinking "What's that irritating noise? Oh no...it's just me crying again, wish this mouth of mine would stop going blaaargh, oh well, tum te tum". The crying is the *effect* of a need. It's communication, not just the empty noise of a soul-less machine who couldn't really care less.

Secondly, "It bothers me more than it bothers her" implies the mother should *not* be concerned by her baby crying. I'll let someone else comment on that because the whole concept makes me so :banghead that I'm lost for words. :blush

[Vipers_Princess]

My oldest had to sniffle and whimper a little bit, and sometimes out right scream {Sensory issues we didn't get a perm. dx on til she was almost four :(} But she never did it alone. I think I'd be more concerned with how someone handles their childs' need to cry rather than the fact they admit their child has sensory or other reasons they cry at bedtime..

[katiekind]

the baby's crying is some seperate entity

Wow, what an insight! I have never seen that put into words before. I think you are right.

I agree with Joanne, some babies do get to the point where they cry and then fall asleep -- but there's no reason they have to be alone for this process.

[milkmommy]

hey is this one of those red flag lines "it's just that my baby has to cry to go to sleep and it bothers me more than it bothers her"?


Yes and no.. What do they mean by cries Screams and screams untill they pass out into a "peacefully" sleep :rolleyes do they mean sticking them in a crib with a clean diaper and maye a bottle the closing the door and letting things happen?
or do they mean crying in arms or a child who after being rocked nursed changed ticked read to etc takes a mintues or two of settling down tears (that increase if mommy keeps trying to hold them) before settling down.
Sometimes my dd did/does need a minute alone to settle her same if she woke up at night shes cry but it was like Waa huh grggle pause WAh Wah umm toss stand up turn around thump down wa WAA umm wa. :giggle its would be like hey these are neat sounds stopping between and decrease over time and would be short lived. If her cried increased or turned into screams we ALWAYS respond.

Deanna

[malakoa]

okay - thanks. this woman had a rough time, and it sounded like she was :bheart over some of the advice she had been given.

funny now, if small isn't nursing she'll "talk" until she sleeps....