how do you have a big family?? [Archive] - Gentle Christian Mothers Community

Kaz

06-03-2005, 08:57 AM

OK, obviously I know HOW ;)

the thing is, I have to confess I'm a bit in awe of all you mamas with, well, more than ONE dc :giggle

I can barely cope with one, I mean the house is nearly always a mess and everything is pretty chaotic! I like the idea of a big family (to me this means about 4) but I honestly don't know how you do it, I can't imagine! I spend such a huge chunk of the day feeding dd, how would it work if there were other children wanting my attention at the same time? Is this not a recipe for a big headache? . Can you paint me a picture? How would you homeschool too? How do you get any housework done? How do you get quality time with each child? How do you get time for dh? (no disrepect intended, I just seriously do not get the logistics of big families)

Both dh and I are one of two children and we have no concept of big families, but we do love the *idea* of a bunch of children. I guess we will take things one child, one day at a time and pray but maybe if I am barely coping with one we shouldn't....thoughts from those with big families and from those who decided to stay small please :grin

Beyond Blessed

06-03-2005, 09:29 AM

I love your question! I have four and we want more :heart MY house IS a mess :O But maybe because my youngest is still an infant. :shrug I love our family dynamic. Things ARE hectic, but seeing how my family works together makes my heart just melt. :-)

The boys are 15 months apart and that was hard with juggling feeding and diapers. :rolleyes But they are good friends and I believe it was really "worth it". We had our third child 3 and a half years later. I wanted to do it earlier but because of my cancer we had to wait :td That time it was so awesome seeing how the boys interacted with their sister. It was lovely. And this fourth time it was just as lovely with all three of them doting on the baby.

I homeschooled for two years. In the beginning years you really don't spend a huge amount of time schooling (at least I didn't) so it wasn't a big deal. When dd1 started walking she made it hard on the boys by pulling on their papers and I had to solve the problem of what to do with her while they were doing school. But when our fourth baby was in and out of the hospital soon after being born and I was still so tired, dh was concerned about the testing the boys would have at the end of the year - so we decided to put them in ps :bheart I was sad, but they are doing really well.

Things in our house are kind of organized chaos. :grin But I do okay with that. Right now I as so sleep deprived that the laundry I had folded and sorted in the living room has become strewn all over the floor and I've resorted to stepping over it :blush Dishes have about an 18-24 turn around time (meaning they sit in the sink for awhile) :blush We can't walk in our bedroom because I have baskets upon baskets of clean clothes waiting to be put away. That's my life right now. But! I love playing family games with the older ones, and going to the park, and watching them help and serve one another. Oh boy can they fight, but they love even fiercer!

edited to add more because I accidentally hit a wrong key and submitted it... :O

We try to take one child with us on errands to get a chance to really have good conversations alone with them. Also, they have reading goals and when they reach them they pick something special to do with Daddy. That week I will take the other child on a "mommy, son" date. So far we just play with the girls and read to them. As they get older, we will incorporate more one on one time.

My friend thought I was crazy to get pg with #2 - she's a gentle christian mama whose life revolved around dc#1. Our 1st babies were the same age and she had no clue how she would ever "do" another. So when I got pg (on purpose) when ds was 6 months old - she thought I had lost my mind. But God knew better. Two weeks later she called and told me that God worked in spite of their birth control and once again our babies were due a week apart. She can't imagine life without #2 (and now has #3). Everything just fell into place for her.

I can't wait to read posts from other "large families" (and also those who have chosen to stay small ;) )

aahree

06-03-2005, 09:31 AM

DD is an only child, partly because we can barely handle what we have now, let alone adding more kids to the mix. There are a TON of other reasons, too, though. I'm sure God would give us the strength to handle more kids if we were meant to have them, but we're not. I have a lot of respect for families with lots of kids, though. :) It must be an incredible amount of work, but I'm sure it is also an incredible blessing.

MarynMunchkins

06-03-2005, 09:37 AM

Kaz

06-03-2005, 09:38 AM

this is so interesting..I am a bit obsessed by this topic at the mo'. Thanks for your replies Mamas..keep 'em coming!

Krystyne

06-03-2005, 09:46 AM

You know, my kids spend most of their time playing with and entertaining each other. :) I get stuff done because I don't have to spend as much time occupying one. :shrug And I make my kids clean up with me, so the house really isn't that bad. When they were younger, I had more stuff put away and did what I could.

The only thing I find really challenging about multiple kids is the noise level. It's hard for me to function when everyone is loud (even if it's happy noises). But I pretty much roll with the punches around here. :)

Ditto here. I love that my 7.5 year old, seeks out his 20 month old sister to play. I love watching all three on their tummy playing legos and chatting. I am not one who functions well in noise, and currently I am trying to remember living on crurtches is justa phase in my life, buut would not change my kids. I do homeschool and do what I do in bits and pieces, fitting homeschooling into my life, and not fitting my life into homeschooling.

ServingGod

06-03-2005, 09:57 AM

I only have 3 right now, a nearly 5yo, a 3yo and a15mo. My house can be chaotic...but my dc really do keep each other occupied. Other moments can be a little frustrating...like now...they are supposed to by lying quietly but Im hearing little footsteps over my head. :doh I do a lot of laundry...as long as I do 1 or 2 loads a day and fold right after...we are ok. When I have a schedule going for myself I can handle things much better...right now my house has toys and blankets and diapers strewn everywhere. The boys thought it would be fun to make a path with their sisters diapers. :shrug I got to read the newspaper while they did that. ;) I dont handle noise well either. I get overwhelmed easily as well. but it really is so worth it...they all love each other so much and play together and help each other...its great.

julbug

06-03-2005, 11:20 AM

I feel kind of funny responding, I only have one right now (#2 on the way! :preg). But I think I do have some insight on this issue.

DS is very active, loves to be engaged in some type of game or activity every waking moment so it is very difficult for him to be an "only". A couple summers ago, we had DH's little sister come stay with us for a month-long visit (she is a couple years older than DS) and let me tell you, it was great! They played together so well, even towards the end of the month when you'd have thought they'd be getting sick of each other by then. I was able to get so much done around the house and truthfully I enjoyed having a girl for a while.

DH & I want a lot of children, :jump2 not sure how many that will be exactly, we're relying on the Lord's guidance for that. But I for one, LOVE the noise. I can't stand quiet houses where you can hear a pin drop, I want a happy home with lots of LIFE in it! It really makes you appreciate the quiet moments you do have when they're all asleep. This is how DH's family is and my own childhood (I have one sister, three years older) seems lonely by comparison.

I only wish we could have started earlier so there wouldn't be such a large age gap between DS and his next sibling. That couldn't really be helped though, considering he was already three and a half when he got here. He's really starting to get excited about Sprout's arrival though, and says what a great big brother he'll be. Seems like he adds something new to the list of things he's going to teach the baby every day: how to tie shoes, ride a bike, read books, swim, the list goes on & on..... :-)

MySeoulChild

06-03-2005, 12:38 PM

This weekend we will have five in the house, and it's not that frightening ;)

The most important thing, when going from one to two (or greater than) is that they all come one at a time. :) (usually)
When we had our first, we never imagined having another. It just didn't seem like we could ever love someone so completely that it hurt to be away from them. Over the years, obviously, this changed. :)

For the most part, the older four play together. They will occasionally retire to their rooms for some alone time, especially when fighting too much. But, they usually find something to do. We also try to play games together when the baby is sleeping, they help me prepare meals (taking turns and each having a special job). Homeschooling is ecclectic right now - and we fit it in when we can. It is more oral/verbal than written work, but they learn it all the same and there is less frustration from the three year old coloring on their paper or the baby ripping the sheet.

The house has won for now ;) But, give me five or ten years and I'll be back for the second battle.
Seriously, though. We try to straighten as we go - and encouraging putting back something before getting another toy or book out. But, we also try to remember that there are a lot of us here and it's bound to get a little cluttered and messy. We try organization and memo boards, etc, but they don't always last in our group :)

The kids help carry groceries in from the car, help carry laundry up to each of their rooms (my oldest can put hers away, the other two put them on top of their dressers and I get it later, when they get in bed). They play upstairs by the kitchen while I cook - and the oldest helps with the baby if she's getting too close to the oven or getting into the cabinets too much (we keep kitchen tools - cutting boards, spatulas, etc in the drawers she can reach and pots and pans in the low cabinets - the rest of the glass, sharp stuff, etc is all up too high for any of them to get into, so there is less supervision necessary). My oldest also will make the salad, or dessert if we're having it. She can cut up things with a butter knife (like strawberries) and loves being a "big kid" helping in the kitchen. She makes homemade whipped cream very well now :)

On the weekends, and in the evenings when DH gets home, we all work together to clean up. Sometimes I watch the kids while he, in his words "busts through the house" and gets it quickly clean. Or, some evenings I spend time doing one project (organizing, laundry, cleaning a bathroom really well). He does the dishes in the morning and I cook all the meals. It's a lot more about shared responsibility with a larger family, I think. If I didn't have his help, and the help of the kids, I'd be burned out too frequently, I think.

And, occasionally, it's about drive-through or a restaurant :)

boonpnutsmom

06-03-2005, 01:06 PM

We have three, DS#1 7, almost 8, DD she is 5 and DS#2 who is 2.5. BUT we also have 3 cats, one of which is still a kitten. Truthfully some days I do tend to go insane. Both of the older two love playing with our youngest. And the youngest is the best with the cats. The older two will fight but they can play on their own. DS#2 bless his heart loves his mama, so when I am doing my work, or cooking or the minimal amount of cleaning I do, he is always right by me, he is my shadow. He asks me all day long when Daddy, Eti, and Titi are coming home. The MINUTE he hears the truck in the driveway it is all I can do to hold him back to keep him inside to wait for them, some days I don't succeed and they are bombarded by a flying baby wantin hugs. He loves them so much he misses them all day. I asked him the other day if he wanted to go to school too, like bruddah and titi, and he told me , "No, I baby, I stay with chichi's and Mommie" :heart

purplerose

06-03-2005, 02:59 PM

I can't really say "how" we do it, we just do!!!!! :tu I have two little ones.....3 and almost 2 and am 27wk pg with #3! My DH is a Marine, so he is gone a lot! :tdSome days are great and others are ....... you fill in the blank!!!! ;) I love the dynamics of a big family! My two have gotten to play really well together and they really entertain each other! It's then when I can get stuff done! Or, I do it during their nap time (right now) when I'm not on GCM!!!!! ;) But the same thing, we clean up as we go, I make a dinner and cleaning schedule...but we are flexible! I'm not putting my kids into preschool, so we don't have anywhere that we "really" need to be! I love having the kids run around the house playing! I can't wait for #3 and the others to get here! But it's true, just take them one at a time!!!! :hearts

churchpunkmom

06-03-2005, 03:25 PM

My house is a mess. :blush Mostly because I'm pregnant (and still in the first tri no less) and too exhausted to do much more than make sure the kids are cared for and there's food on the table! :shifty Dishes don't get done everyday. Right now, that's just life. It will change when I get some energy back. ;) I had a good handle on things just before I got pregnant again! Oh well! :shrug Mine are all pretty close together, too. I have a 4yo (almost 5), a 3yo, and a 18mo, and I'm almost 8wks pg with number 4. I love having more than one. :mrgreen I will always treasure the one on one time I had with Aidan, life is much simpler with one! However, the fact that they are capable of keeping each other amused makes me so happy to have more. :lol That's also why we wanted ours to all be close in age. The biggest age difference will be between 3 and 4 and it will be 25-26mo. I will start homeschooling Aidan this year. I don't think it will be a huge deal (if it is, I can always find something else for him ;)). I'm sure Kieran will be happy to sit in on his lessons, which I can do during Torrin's afternoon naps. The baby won't arrive until after Christmas, so I should have a good handle on it by then! :giggle As far as my family is concerned, the more the merrier! :mrgreen

Mamatoto

06-03-2005, 04:03 PM

I have the same fascination I just wasn't sure how to ask about it, so thanks for starting this thread!! I was in the grocery store today watching a mom from my church who I know has 9 children. She had her youngest (1) with her and she was standing in the cart clinging to her WHITE shirt! Who wears white with 9 children?? WOW. She looked gorgeous with hair and makeup looking wonderful. I was in awe. But I also know that they live on a dairy farm and the kids have tons of room to run around and they all really do take care of each other. Oh, and she homeschools, too. :shrug :eek

My house doesn't sound much different than blessedx4 and I only have two!! I cannot keep the house very organized with a one year old and a four year old. Everything I pick up, I turn around and it is back out again! My ds has taken to the potatoes in the bottom cabinet and throwing them one by one around the kitchen. :grin He looks so darn cute I haven't moved them quite yet.

Every pregnancy I think I will never have another one but then the baby comes and it is just so wonderful and well, you sort of forget what you endure and always have room in your heart and home for another somehow. :heart

Mother Duck

06-03-2005, 04:35 PM

Well, we have four children and #5 on the way! Someone already said that the kids entertain each other for much of the time. Having just moved countries, life is to say the least hectic, but we don't have much stuff so there's not much to clean up - big bonus!! :grin

We also homeschool (unschool) so learning happens 24/7 and dh and I imput when and where necessary!

Spending quality time with each individual is an ongoing challenge which we haven't sorted out yet ... maybe when life settles down, whenever that might be :grin

Getting time for dh is taken on an oppurtunity basis!! It is getting easier as the girls get older and a little more independant. The dynamics will change again when the new baby comes in October :)

Don't think I can add much more just now.

Very interesting thread :)

mylittlemen

06-03-2005, 05:27 PM

I felt the same way as you do, Kaz, when I only had one. My every moment was consumed with that one baby! No one could see I was drowning and needed just an hour or two here and there to catch up! And knowing we wanted four or five, or more...just seemed ludicrous. I have to say now (so far) that the need for your attention is not really multiplied X the number of kids you have. First, you get to adjust and adapt as each one comes. You get very creative, and figure it out just as you did when you had the first one. Second, they are not all 18 months old at once (well, in most cases! :lol ) They need you in different ways, and you are no longer the one-man-entertainment committee! Seriously! Third, it is an unbelievable relief to have an older kid, you can't even imagine. Mine isn't even 3 yet, and already my load is easier. If the baby is just in the same room with him, I can often buzz in and out without causing too much distress :) At the same time, there ARE moments where they both need you at once. I used to think this would be all the time - not so, at least for me! I remember picturing myself having two kids and it always looked the same: Two babies screaming hysterically and me pulling my hair out, continuously. Fortunately, that's only a very small portion of each day :lol And the more you have, the more older kids there are, so I am looking forward to that.

As for chaos, and dh, well, we're still working on that. Dh has suffered a lot :( Mostly due to our own peculiar situation (work, etc.) But we are figuring that out too. All I can say is, you won't be able to see HOW you'll do it, but it will work out fine. Not just being pollyanna, either. I'm still drowning and need an hour or two to catch up! But it's pretty fun most of the time. I'll catch up when they're grown :) I guess it's like stepping out in faith. I would definitely recommend NOT trying to picture how it will work when you have 5...That will come gradually. It comforts me knowing that there are all kinds of people with big families - organized ones, messy ones, fun-loving ones, serious ones...whatever. They each make it work for them. When the time comes, there are lots of places to get tips on routines, organization, and stuff like that. Anyway, come on in! The water's fine!! :giggle

Boys and Angels

06-03-2005, 05:37 PM

We always tried to have more children, but it didn't work out, so we've had to settle for mentoring young moms from a maternity home and fostering children in emergency situations. I've been in early childhood education and Childrens Church ministry for the past 23 years, so handling several children at a time is almost second nature to me. I guess the only thing to remember is that none of the kids is looking at what the house actually LOOKS like. Having a specific place for things, and not having too many more things than you need always helps.The children help out with the dishwasher/laundry/keeping hteir own bathroom RELATIVELY clean, and putting htings away when they're done. As long as the house is comfortable, the children's noses and clothes are neat, and the refrigerator filled with healthy nutritious snacks, everything else just kind of comes along. Of course, there will be glitches. Someone will be crying just when you're changing someone else's diaper, something will come crashing down just when you have the two littlest ones in the batrhtub, but you manage, you get through things, sing songs, play games, color and paint with them, and you know what? Time passes quickly, and before you know it, well, at least in our situation, someone or the other moves on, and it seems SO QUIET!!!! Same thing in real families, I guess . . . I mean PERMANENT families and not just foster families and mentoring families, like our situation is. But, those kids grow up and move on before you know it, too! I just love the feeling of looking around the dinner table and seeing all the spaces FILLED!!! I just want to cry sometimes. Since we moved to Florida a year and a half ago, it's just been us and our two boys. We haven't extablished any relationship with a mentoring project or gotten licensed to foster parent, so I don't know what we're going to do, especially since I've been working full time here. I really miss the hustle and bustle of the full house!

Radosny Matka

06-03-2005, 07:50 PM

It gets easier as the child gets older. :D Things were sooooo easy to keep up on when it was just Nathaniel once he got a bit older. Now that I have another newborn...well, forget it. I know it's going to get easier again (just in time for me to have another, I hope). :D

2sunshines

06-03-2005, 08:20 PM

Oh man, I just HAD to get on this thread to answer the question, "how do you have a big family" with

LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX!!! :laughtears

But I know that you clarified what you meant in your OP. For the life of me, I couldn't resist though.

Back to your regularly scheduled thread... :cool

Cindy

06-05-2005, 11:16 AM

I think having a large family is a calling, and not for everyone.

As for myself, I have a 6 year old and a 15 month old - and honestly I think we are finished. I hated being pregnant and feeling sick and miserable for 9 months. I also don't care for the baby stage - at least mine were VERY high maintainance. My one year old is beginning to get easier,. but I am still a 24 hour parent to him. My 6 year old daughter is coping, but really not getting the time with me she wants or needs (and for my child the company of other children can not substitute for one on one time with mommy). I often find myself easily frustrated and angry when I haven't slept well, or am trying to shout a homeschool lesson over a screaming baby... I just don't think I could mentally handle the stress of a large family and be a good gentle mommy to all of them... I am struggling enough with just two.

Besides all this we like to expose our kids to as many different things as we can. Over the past year alone our daughter has taken piano lessons, gymnastics, attended a kindergarten class at our church one day a week ... and this winter she discovered ice skating (she loves it, is very good and has high aspirations - we just signed her up for private coaching and spend 3-4 days a week at the rink...) In a few years we will want to provide the same opportunities for our son, and even if the money was unlimited, I can only spend so many hours a week in the car... As we have more children, it means less that we can give each of them.

And yes, my home is a mess, I live out of a pile of laundry, and have the same 18-24 hour turnaround on dishes... But dishes will wait, I want to spend as much time with my kids as I can :hearts

positivemom

06-05-2005, 08:13 PM

I have four sons that were born in 5.5 years.....I love them more than life itself and would love to have more but not for several years...it is true that kids occupy one another and by the time they are six or seven can be doing LOTS of household chores to work with you like a team...mine do dishes, laundry, you name it.....I homeshcool (my oldest is now seven) and that is going fine...think of it like this....when junior is two you do puzzles with him and snuggle and read because you have to do something to make his day productive and pass the time and enjoy him....well, when junior is five or six you will be teaching him his alphabet and how to read....it comes natural to homeshcool for me because if you were already used to spending time with your child that just grows into schooling sessions throughout the day....BUT, I will say that I wish that I had spaced mine out more because I have not always been the gentle mother I want to be because of sheer exhaustion and overwhelmed feelings...that is my advice....don't be paralized by fear but also don't jump into water way over your head either....take things one child at a time,consider spacing that would allow you to gradually grow without becoming an overwhelmed, harsh mommy that is too pooped to care....I have horrible pregnancies and for that reason I do not plan on conceiving again until my youngest is four (not a baby anymore) ...if your preg are not bad you probably could deal with a more typical spacing of 2.5 to 3 years....you will adapt and your will find that more children is easier and harder in some ways...God bless!!! positviemom

TestifyToLove

06-05-2005, 09:04 PM

Here's the thing. A large family has a different mentality than a small family. You can't imagine how to have a large family because you are doing everything.

When you've got very little children and nothing else, then everything comes from mom and dad. You must meet their physical and emotional needs. You must care for the household. You must be the entertainment. You must provide the guidance to help them grow in wisdom. You must do all the household chores, cleaning, cooking, etc.

That's not how a large family operates. Its necessary for a small family to have everything flow from the parental units towards the children. In a large family, everyone does their part. Each member of this family contributes to this family in their best possible way. Each member treats others with respect and love, and each member does what they can to assist in meeting the needs of the others. If anyone sees that something needs done, then its our responsibility as part of this family to do our best to assist the person who needs it.

Yes, there is a level of chaos, and a level of clutter that is different than a small family. But, once children are able to be responsible and do their part, downright mess is not as big a deal. You could enter my house right now. Its a bit on the cluttered side, and in the AM someone needs to haul trash out. But, you wouldn't be shocked, appalled, disgusted nor anything else at the condition of my house. Heck, you could even find a place to sit with ease.

Truthfully, when we added #4, I didn't consider us a large family. I really don't think of a family as a large family until 6 children. But, I knew within months of his coming home that I needed to make the mental change to that of a mother of a large family. I knew if I didn't make that mental change, I would NEVER be able to function as a large family very well. And, a year later, I'm getting it fairly well. Large families work because its NOT all about what you, the mother, must do to meet every single need of every individual in the family. Its about how to guide all the members towards working together and doing their part for the family to function well and with lots of love. Once you make that mental change, I suspect it doesn't matter whether you have 4 (like we have) or 14.

I think what I love the most about a large family though, is that because we must all contribute to the well being of the family, we must each work a little harder to reach outside ourselves for others. All of my kids frequently will stop what they are doing to help someone else, because they know that we're supposed to help someone who needs it in this family *especially* ones too little to do it for themselves. And, they extend this consideration outside the boundaries of our house. They aren't perfect. But, they are learning the lessons about this here in the home because they cannot shut themselves into their own world here.

Kaz

06-06-2005, 12:14 AM

positivemom

06-06-2005, 04:37 AM

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies..you've given me much food for thought :think

So you're saying..what I have to do is take things one child at a time, maybe space them out well.? Don't get too stressed by the chaos, stop thinking I will be giving 4x the amount of attention I am with dd..they will be entertaining each other a bit..Maybe I'll be cut out for it, maybe I won't.

Its kinda like I really wish I was all up for 4 children because I'd love to have 4... But I can really relate to those of you with short fuses and those who get driven bonkers by mess. And I want all my children to have the same attention that dd has had...but maybe children don't need so much attention for me as all that..like I say you've all given me much food for thought :grin
sounds like you summed it up VERY well in my opinion ...I think every statement you distilled from all of this is true....I would add one more thing....you will adapt in ways that right now you can not imagine..even if you just have one more child....your standards for clutter or whatever will probably go down and that is natural.....when you walk in my home you would notice that if it isn't tidy it probably could be tidy and clean in about an hour..but then again it is small too!!!!.....and I am OK with that now...that has taken a LOT of growth on my part as I used to be a neat freak with a short fuse...sometimes those things come together and don't mix well with small children....I am happier the way I am now...I haven't totally thrown in the towel on household things and my kids help a lot, but I have lowered my standards considerably and I am actually a better mother because of it...my sister has four children but they are spaced out by 3 and 4 years and she is still a neat freak..the neatness was never driven out of her and I think I am better off...but then again..I have had some REALLY hard crash courses in adaptation that have not been fun......just more to think about.....positivemom

Kaz

06-06-2005, 07:02 AM

:lol positivemom..that describes me still 'a neat freak with a short fuse' :lol
One baby has already helped with that, though sometimes I think I'm going to scream because I can't stand the mess a minute longer.

I'm all up for being changed though. I believe we can all do with surrendering our need to 'control' everything, whether it be the house, the children, whatever. Maybe if we surrender to it all gracefully we are changed for the better, if we resist we go bonkers/die early from stress? I don't know, but I do hope I end up jumping into the deep end in terms of having a big family..I was never 'rich' in family (I grew up with 1 sister and no extended family except occasionally g'parents) so I have visions of being an old lady surrounded by lots and lots of happy family.

I used to be one of these types to think disapprovingly about couples who were over-run by children. I thought they should have them 'under control', thought they were being slaves to their children. Now I laugh at that attitude. My IL's and my own parents still have that 'children should be seen and not heard' thing. It would be good fun to descend upon them with a truckload of children and watch them squirm.. :lol We are such an adult-centred society..it does us good to be taken out of ourselves..But I digress

MySeoulChild

06-06-2005, 08:53 AM

I just wanted to say that spacing is a matter of personal preference - and it all works out either way.

We have our girls two years apart, each. It works really well for us because by they're close enough in age that they share similar interests. This means a little more family harmony because the two older ones can play dolls together, and the two little ones nap at the same time.
It makes life a little easier for us.

That, and I don't want to be raising kids forever ;) We know that some day we will be adults whose children are grown, and we will have the opportunity to travel and spend some time together, alone. We have always had children, so we don't know what it is like to not have a little one underfoot (DH had a 2 year old when we married) :)

Also, I think there is chaos in the household, as far as getting things done and such. But, also there is structure and my girls understand when things need to be addressed, it's NOW. We have raised them to be very well-mannered in appropriate situations and were complimented extensively at the country club we went to on Mother's Day. The girls had amazing behavior and were very well mannered the entire time. BUT - at home, they're banshees :)

AKCristyMJ

06-06-2005, 09:28 PM

Well everyone certainly summed it up just right!!

I think everyone has different tollerance levels.

My best friend has 2 sons age 6 and 2 and she is D-O-N-E having kids lol!!
I've known moms of 10 sound more calm when I call than she does.

I think everyone here said it all so I 2nd it and 2nd the fact that I honestly think the 1st is the hardest.
I have 2 dd age almost 5 and 17mos.
And as stated they really entertain eachother a lot.
Ofcource every baby is different.......in someways Beth was easier and harder to rear than Lidia in someways.

And yeah with the 1st your house is a disaster.
But the kids age and soon are helping you clean.
Also you buy less for your other kids I think, you are more prepared too. Like with my first I had no idea the little tornado she'd be as a toddler, this time I was more prepared and had most of the house less destructable and more Toddler proof since I knew aheada time what she'd get into.
I also had things more organized and was more willing to ask for help and put things off with my 2nd.

With the 1st you get into "Supermom" mentality, but by baby 2 or more you realize you are human, you also realize the hard times fade fast.
Soon they are 5 and are eager to help you sort laundry, do dishes, put toys up etc......and you are amazed at all you made it through!

For me it was potty training honestly.
Once Lid was potty trained at age 3 I gave this huge sigh of relief and the ole wink to dh and 9mos later.....Bethany was born! hehe :grin

positivemom

06-07-2005, 05:24 AM