Getting control of ourselves

[heartofjoy]

Can someone teach me how to properly express my own emotions so that I will know how to teach my children this? I am still throwing fits at the age of 28. :hissyfit I am moody, impatient, and generally unpleasant to be around unless everything is going my way. I act exactly like my 5 year old who drives me insane. :eek Help.

[CJ]

I can totally relate to this, too! I tend to rage when I'm irritated or angry. (And I'm 37) I know some of my triggers but am not really sure of all of them. I also realize that I'm not really clear what appropriate expressions of anger are either. I'm currently trying to work through forgiveness processes with a couple people in my life because I suspect some of my anger is related to deep unforgiveness in my life. I recently got a book about anger--can't remember the title, but I'll post it tomorrow when I get a chance to look at it. It's hard for me to draw boundaries for my kids with regard to expressing emotions since I don't even know where or how to draw my own lines.

[ellies mom]

Kid Cooperation by Elizabeth Pantley is one of the few "discipline" books I've read that talks about dealing with our own anger and techniques for coping and diffusing it. That chapter and the one on taking care of ourselves is the reason I got the book.

[TulipMama]

Seeing and recognizing these things in our *own* life, I believe, is one of the things God uses in His process of sanctifying us. *hug*

[Titus2:5Catholic]

If you haven't, read "Raising your Spirited Child". I recognized so much of myself in there it was amazing. It helped me "pinpoint" things that triggered me, which was half the battle.

[annetted]

Sara

You are so right. I've been reading Raising Your Spirited Child too, and it has certainly helped me pinpoint some of my triggers. I had never really thought of myself as sensitive to noise, but I have found that when my 2 boys get going and they are rough housing and making a real racket it is like fingernails down the blackboard to me. It just gets me uptight so quickly. Now I just have to find a way of working through it so that they can still be their spirited selves and I can get the quiet I need.

[DogwoodMama]

Also Becky Bailey's "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" is great, and Irene has been leading discussions on it in our GD forum. :tu

[heartofjoy]

I am reading Raising Your Spirited Child right now! I am exactly like my spirited daughter on every trait except for energy. She has it, and I don't! And she's an extrovert and I'm and introvert. So I think we're probably the worst mother/daughter combo you can get!

I am also reading Easy to Love, Difficult to Dicipline which is helping alot too. So I guess I'm on the right track! I know I am not going to change my habits overnight, but, man, if were only that easy!

Has anyone read Julie Barnhill's "She's Gonna Blow" or Lindsay OConner's "If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy"? I have them on my bookshelf from a few years ago. I was punitive then, and I don't really remember if they were punitive-minded. They're not really dicipline books, but more about dealing with our own behavior and emotions as mothers. I am thinking about picking them up again, but I don't want to stumble across the punitive stuff. I haven't shifted totally yet, and I can't afford to have that mindset creeping up on me.

It's good to know I am not the only one that can't express my emotions properly. I am trying though!! :grin

[shilohmm]

I like Ross Campbell's "Ladder of Anger," which I got out of his Relational Parenting. I have it posted beside my desk as a reminder how to express my anger properly. I can't claim tyo be "pleasant" while angry, but I've improved on some other fronts. :mrgreen He also has a book on anger, where I assume there's more discussion on it, but I haven't read that yet. :P

Sheryl

[purplerose]

I was like this too until I was 30yo and was diagnosed with PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder) and anxiety disorder and was given Prozac. Now I'm just as happy and easy going!!!!! :hug