Bad dreams

[mylittlemen]

My almost-3 year old has been afraid to go to sleep the last two nights. He says"I don't want bad dreams. Mama, stay with me!" When I get up to sneak out after he seems to be asleep (as I have always done), he wakes up a little and says "I have to sit up somewhere," meaning, he needs to go somewhere else and sit with me. Last night I sat with him in the recliner until we both fell asleep. Tonight, he used the same exact words several times. I told him to stay in bed and I would be right back (this is my test to see if he is really not going to sleep...) I went to fill his sippy cup with water, as he was whimpering a little, but before I got back he was almost screaming in a frightened way. I took him out of bed and laid him in my bed, went out to take care of the baby, and he was out cold immediately, no problem. It's like he's scared to sleep in his bed. I asked him what he saw in his bad dreams, and he said "not anything", and he couldn't tell me what a bad dream was. He hasn't had any episodes of waking up scared. But he has just recently started to be scared of things like tigers (on TV), spiders, snakes, sirens, etc. Very strange for a kid who was never afraid of anything. I'm just wondering where this is coming from and what we could do to calm him. I pray it is nothing from the Evil One! I have such a creeped-out feeling about it. We prayed as always, and I asked Jesus to help him sleep well and have good dreams, and told him the angels were there to watch over him. I'm just kind of sad. Hoping it wasn't something he saw on TV or something. So many kid's shows make whole episodes out of being afraid of this or that, why even draw attention to it?? Oh well, if you have any words of wisdom, I would welcome them!

[Spirit of the Home]

How scary it is when our children are having dreams that make their sleep and our sleep interupted. To hear them screm or see them scared.It is good that you are not trying to invalidate his fears. Sometimes children say nothing when they don't know how to express what they see.

I want to talk to Crystal before posting too much on this subject.
I have some experience in studying about dreams and will be back to talk more, now I just want to say that I read some book that made some sense of everything.

One of the books I read was Dreams God's Neglected Gift.
this book talks about how dreams are God helping us work out problems we are facing, character developement and warning signs from God that something is out of balance also dream visions can be warnings for the future and help us make correct decisions.
the author talked about nightmares and how we are not to pray them away because that is like praying away the fire engine bell at the Fire station and without it the firemen can't be warned there is a problem and get it fixed.
Dreams are talked about in the Bible also and always interpreted as mesages from God, anyway I don't remember one that wasn't :-)
I have some very interesting , scary, troubling, amazing, fantastic, and wonderful dreams, sometimes in vivid color and sometimes in such intensity I know it is a vision.
One dream I figured out was a huge bear was chasing me :eek and I couldn't run and I couldn't scream :sad2 I was tring so hard to do both I would wake up exhausted. This dream was often recurring from about two on into my teen years.
My parents were ezzo, pearls style parenting and the dream was me tring to work out the fact that i felt so oppressed from very strict and punitive discipline[the huge bear chasing me] and i couldn't do anything about it[ I couldn't scream] It was mentally freeing to finally figure out the meaning and I could deal with my feelings as an adult. :cool
It would have been nice to know that info as a child and get help from my parents
when I first started seeking and asked other Christians about dreamsthey would say it was just something I ate ;)
Even if he isn,t dreaming its so wonderful that you are tring to figure it out, The mothers love is stong in you :highfive
Karmen

[mylittlemen]

Thank you, Karmen! I do believe God created us to dream and I know it is a wonderful mechanism for dealing with stuff we don't always process consciously (think of vivid or scary dreams when you're pregnant!!) I know ds has dreamed about animals and stuff - he tells me about them :) Now I am thinking he may not have HAD bad dreams, but has "heard" of them and is afraid he might have some... :shrug I dunno. I am going to talk to him today when he is not scared and see if I can get any info. He clams up sometimes if I try to ask him about stuff that he is unsure of or embarassed about. Anyway, thanks... hope to hear more from others who have experienced this!

[Radosny Matka]

Could there be something in his room that scares him? He slept fine in your bed, right?

[mylittlemen]

Yes, right. That's how he's acting. He seems fine and happy in my bed, and goes right to sleep even if I'm not there. The other day we were reading a Blue's Clues book where Blue had these little balloons near her head, with pictures of things she was thinking of, and Brendan said "Those are dreams!" That's when I asked him what he saw in his dreams :shrug Tonight is the 4th night we've been dealing with this. I got him to go to sleep in his own bed by sitting with him for a long time. I don't mind if he sleeps in my bed but I have to move him back when I go to bed. There's too many of us! Plus he's been in his own bed (most of the night) for 2 years now. Still puzzled, but still working on it. I will ask him about his room tomorrow...

[ArmsOfLove]

Well, bad dreams at this age are totally normal--and very real and scary to them :( All of my children have gone through this. I think it's wonderful that you are willing to have him in your room and meet his night time needs. Dreams are a way for the subconscious to sort through what the conscious can't process (well that's one thing they are for :) ). He's learning about so many new and scary things--tigers, airplanes, things that we don't even give a second thought but are new and powerful and big. When my children have bad dreams I hold them and reassure them and sing to them and rock them--whatever helps them feel safe. Night terrors are normal at this age too--where they are half awake and dreaming. That can be very scary for everyone :(

I try to pray for my children (especially if they've been having bad dreams) that the Lord will minister to them in their sleep and walk with them and teach them and give them dreams about _______ (fill in the blank with all their favorite things :) ).

I :pray that his dreams will get better!

Oh, and I was very tempted to worry about exposing my children to too scary things because of their fear issues but with ds1 it was a wonderful thing for him to discover super heroes because by *being them* he was able to overcome many of his fears :)