Negative comments when slinging toddler?

[BornFreeBaby]

Now that I have my Maya pouch I :heart it and I wear my 18 mo. dd all the time when out in public and at the grocery store.
I mostly get postive comments, but I have also had some bad /dirty looks from some women- like why would I ever carry my dd when she could sit in a cart? People say- doesn't that kill your back? and give me funny looks. dd is 25 lbs and it doesn't hurt- I tell them it helps my arm from falling off when I have to hold her!
It doesn't bother me as much as what my family has been saying- esp. my mother who thinks that I am "holding her back" by carrying her all the time- and she even makes fun of me saying- " It looks like you should be picking rice with her on your back like that." and my MIL says- "well it looks like its time to have another baby to put in that sling- She is just too big for that!" :sa
It seems that their is more acceptance when slinging a baby rather than an toddler. But it seems to me that toddlers are the ones that can run away from you and get hurt more easily.
I don't know- i need more bean dip comments to tell them about this- any come backs for slinging toddlers?

[BeckaBlue]

:banghead

when ds was 9mo a bagger at the grocery store told me i needed to teach him to sit in the cart cuz he's too big for that! :rolleyes I just said "it's easier this way. can you make sure the bread gets put on top" (she was too busy giving dirty look than paying attention to what she was doing with my groceries :/)

w/ most comments/dirty looks i can usually say either "it's safer this way. have a nice day" or "he prefers being close to me, like mother like son *insert goofy grin*. have a nice day!" and continue on my way (or even throw in the incident about a friends baby cracking her skull because she fell out of the seat of the cart!)

w/ the rice comment i think i'd end up saying "oh, that sounds like some good exercise! maybe we could do it together sometime!" :giggle

[Heather Micaela]

I dont mind the honest questions such as "doesn't it hurt your back" Babywearing is becoming more accepted, but it is still foriegn to many - and toddler wearing is even more foreign. But comments about what I SHOULD do w/ my child are unnaceptable!!! Unless I am obviously abusing my child, I don't understand why a stranger would feel the right to intrude.

[DogwoodMama]

I also have a 25 lb 18-month old and I too am getting tired of the comments. I guess it's just not mainstream yet. My dd alternates between walking, sling and stroller when we're out, in about equal amounts. I had a super-fit "triathalon" mom ask me if it hurt my back to wear dd in a sling... it really doesn't, as matter of fact it hurts me much worse to carry her on my hip b/c I lean funny, but I have better posture with the sling plus I'm not really "carrying" the weight, it's distributed by the sling!

I don't mind explaining, but it *does* get tiresome. *sigh*. ;)

[MarynMunchkins]

I don't really mind the "back" comments either - who knows, I might be convincing someone else to use one. ;)

But the rude people usually get a strange look and asked, "Did I ask for your opinion?" Or, if I'm feeling feisty, "Well, I had to decide whether to sling the 18 mo old or the 4 year old, and the 4 year old is better at walking." :P

[BornFreeBaby]

w/ the rice comment i think i'd end up saying "oh, that sounds like some good exercise! maybe we could do it together sometime!" :giggle


:lol LOL! I guess I need to have more of a sense of humor about these things since I have chosen the parenting path least traveled...
I just can't stop wearing her! I love AP! It just feels right! :shrug

[Piper2]

FWIW, if I could still sling my 52lb 6yo, I'd do it in a heartbeat! ;) I wouldn't care what anybody said...slinging him would be a LOT easier than having him walk (er...actually, run!), or complain about having to sit in the seat of the shopping cart (as opposed to the "big part").

[Meredith]

I get the same stuff. DS is 19 months- today!- and weighs 28 lbs. I try to take the comments lightly, and say why it's appropriate in this situation. Usually it's because DS would be into everything, or for safety, like in a parking lot. But usually I just say "Look at him- wouldn't you cuddle this guy all you could while you had the chance?" If I'm lucky, DS completes the statement by throwing his arms around my neck and giving me a big kiss. :clap

[GodChick]

i used to get this too, whenever i would go in the back office of the clinic where i pick up my transcription (wahm work) with dd#1. every single time she saw me (3 times a week) she'd say, "you're still carrying her?" and i'd smile and say "yeah." finally i took the advice of some of the gcm ladies and told herm "soon she'll be too big to carry; i want to carry her for as long as can." too bad so many people can't wait until their kids grow up.

[mamahammer]

I get a lot of that kind of stuff, too :( Esp now that I'm Very Pregnant, random people will some up to us and say to Thomas, "Your poor mama shouldn't have to carry you! You're plenty big enough to walk!" Like my son is abusing me or something :mad Trust me, it's much easier to sling him at this stage (Very Pregnant with a 30 pound two yr old) than to chase after him everywhere we go!

[RosieTook]

I had someone tell me the other day that he was "worried" about dd's leg when I held her in the hip carry. He even went so far as to try and reach around my back and TOUCH HER LEG!! :mad I took two steps back and said we are just fine thank you! He then went on to tell me that she can't tell me if she is hurting and I gave him a "look" and said She may not use words, but she can communicate just fine!! As if my dd wouldn't SCREAM if it was hurting her, and like I don't know what she likes/dislikes...sheesh!! :rolleyes

For the most part though I get great comments and so many people saying how comfy she looks and how they wish they had one, and how easy it must be!! I have turned many a mam onto slings! :tu

[BornFreeBaby]

"soon she'll be too big to carry; i want to carry her for as long as can." too bad so many people can't wait until their kids grow up.

:clap That is a great thing to say! I will use that one. :hearts

[ranade3]

I am so glad that no one has said anything negative about my slinging of my dd. It never occured to me that anyone would think anything negative about it at all and if they said something to me I think I would have been shocked. I get enough comments and dirty looks about other things.

I was afraid to take a stroller to Africa when I went to get dd because of our failed adoption 3 years earlier (didn't want to come home with an empty stroller) so I took a sling that one of my girl friends had made for me. All I had was a backpack and what I didn't realize was that once I had dd in the sling I couldn't put the backpack over my shoulders. Dd was 19 months old and weighed 23 pounds at that time and by the time I got to NYC I thought I was going to die from carrying her and my backpack. I actually got positive comments from strangers at JFK airport and I remember thinking that was weird because I thought the sling was the most natural way to carry my daughter. I was surprised that people were commenting on the sling and not about how I am white and dd is black. To this day if dd is feeling tired she will go and get the sling and I will cuddle with her even though she is now 3.5 years old and weighs 37 pounds. Dd was used to being on her caregiver's back so I think slinging her helped with bonding though at the time I really thought it was just common sense to use a sling, didn't everyone sling? :mrgreen

[Radosny Matka]

:rolleyes

[lovelymama]

I've had people in stores tell me to stop hurting my baby. One customer I had wore her pouch for the first time to walmart so she wasn't used to using it yet and was struggling a little. She had two different people report her to the management for abusing her child in the store. The nerve!!!

[MamatoBiz]

I used to get a lot of negative comments when dd was under two and preferred the kangaroo position in the sling. "doesn't that hurt her legs?" "are you sure you aren't deforming her? will she even be *able* to walk?" :laughtears I usually just said "no, she's fine, thanks"

"Your poor mama shouldn't have to carry you! You're plenty big enough to walk!"

Now that dd is nearly 4 and is 32lbs, I get the above comment a LOT. The last time I was in Macy's shopping for myself, and had Biz in the hip/slung around back carry in the Nojo. I gave the lady a a really sweet smile and said, "Her poor mama is saving you from re-folding every single pair of panties on that table right there...isn't this so much easier? Now we're all happy." I have to admit though, my mental answer was quite a bit more rude than that. :O

I wish I could just say, if my back isn't broken and I'm not complaining What's the big old deal?!

[Aerynne]

I never get any negative comments, though I don't sling dd as much as I would like because it DOES hurt my back. Am I doing something wrong? I have a homemade Mayawrap and it hurts my back after awhile of carrying her (she's about 24 lb).

[BornFreeBaby]

I never get any negative comments, though I don't sling dd as much as I would like because it DOES hurt my back. Am I doing something wrong? I have a homemade Mayawrap and it hurts my back after awhile of carrying her (she's about 24 lb).


What positions do you carry her in? My dd is 25 lbs and I usually carry her on my hip or on my back. I find it much easier when she's on my back, but she doesn' t always like to be. How long do you wear her for? I can usually only wear her for 1 1/2 -2 hours before I need a break.

But guess what? For the 1st time I did get a positive comment when I was at TJ's. The lady said- Oh! I just love those slings! More mom's should use them!

[cklewis]

I :/ at the back comment. Holding a toddler in your arms HURTS! Slinging doesn't hurt when it's done right. It's really comfy.

I guess I've just let it all roll off my slinging back. No help from me, I guess.

C

[lovelymama]

I never get any negative comments, though I don't sling dd as much as I would like because it DOES hurt my back. Am I doing something wrong? I have a homemade Mayawrap and it hurts my back after awhile of carrying her (she's about 24 lb).


First you want to make sure that the fabric is spread wide over your shoulder and not in your neck see avatar <----- You also want to make sure the fabric along your back is spread wide and not wrinkled or bunched. Second, you want to carry a toddler in the hip position and the sling at the lowest point should land at or just above your hip bone. Any higher or lower and its going to mess with your back. Pulling the top rail in a little bit on a ring sling will keep baby from leaning back too far and causing extra stress on the back as well.