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canadiyank
05-28-2005, 11:47 PM
I was reading a different thread discussing "safety obedience/compliance" and thought I would share what I learned someplace else that's been working for us....We have decided to use "Halt!" as a "safety" word when we need immediate compliance...it is a word that can be yelled loudly and quickly (say that and then "stop," "no," or "danger" in your head...halt is such a strong word!) and one that's not used often. The lady I learned it from said her mom used to have them practice in the backyard so Kiri and I have been doing this as kind of a game and discussing why it's important...we were practicing it on a walk the other day and she said, "Ok, you yell "Halt" while I run into the street." :laughtears Ummm, welllll, we're not going to practice that, but you have the idea... :P

ArmsOfLove
05-29-2005, 11:46 AM
I like this idea because it can remind us to ask HALT when they are acting poorly--the are they hungry, angry, lonely or tired questions :)

gracefuljourney
05-29-2005, 12:59 PM
I like this idea because it can remind us to ask HALT when they are acting poorly--the are they hungry, angry, lonely or tired questions :)


Crystal ... We ask the HALT questions here also .. but I added two questions which I find especially beneficial with the teenagers ... are they embarrassed or depressed ... which makes the anacrynum HALTED.

I need to add stessed in there as well ... we had a situation at Christmas. The day after Christmas, we were returning from a visit with my in laws ... we had already had a full week of family and celebrations with out of sync schedules and different foods ... we were all tired ... it was just a month since my daddy had died ... and we are two hours from home and the van died. It was COLD and we had to walk to hang out in a Pizza Hut until AAA could tow our car and our neighbor could drive and pick us up. (Thank goodness that he had a large enough van to transport us!). AAA tried to insist that we had to stay with the vehicle (needless to say we have cancelled our service with them), my husband spent almost two hours on the phone with their representative ... and I sat back and watched my children react to the culmination of stress. It made me keenly aware of how people communicate their emotions. I did kindly remind them not to disturb the people around them but they were consistently loud, boisterous, inappropriate joking, etc. ... I finally came to a point of realizing that if everyone there just knew what we were going through at that time, I am sure they would all have understood.

We have had some good conversations about that night and about how we were all handling our stress (when my husband wasn't on the phone with AAA, he was playing Galaga!). We have talked about being aware of these stressful situations and looking for healthy ways to get through them. It was a learning experience for all of us.

Teribear
05-29-2005, 01:26 PM
If you switch the d to "Distressed" rather than depressed it covers both emotions, Stress and Depressed. Just a thought.

canadiyank
05-29-2005, 10:09 PM
Huh. Didn't think of that HALT... :)

SunnyMeee
07-20-2005, 07:52 AM
I didn't think of that HALT, either. Or HALTED or DISTRESSED. Y'all are clever!

::taking notes:: :popcorn

Heather Micaela
07-22-2005, 12:18 PM
Okay so the acronym is:

H- Hungry
A- Angry
L - Lonely
T- Tired
E- Embarassed
D - Depressed/Distressed/Discouraged*

(My ultra oraginzed mind has to see it like this. LOL)

*saw the 3rd "D" on another thread

poetmom
07-29-2005, 08:39 AM
Okay so the acronym is:

H- Hungry
A- Angry
L - Lonely
T- Tired
E- Embarassed
D - Depressed/Distressed/Discouraged*

My ultra oraginzed mind has to see it like this. LOL)

*saw the 3rd "D" on another thread


Heather...that helps me, too....I need to see it in front of me. I now have it on a post it note on my computer monitor!!!!

hollybells
08-03-2005, 07:28 AM
Thanks for posting ~ really helpful! :tu

Holly

lovinmama
08-21-2005, 08:45 PM
Ya all are geniuses!! I'm writing this all down! I really like the idea of using HALT instead of STOP or NO or even DANGER. Thanks for the info!! :clap

Oliveshoots
08-23-2005, 07:17 AM
Heather...that helps me, too....I need to see it in front of me. I now have it on a post it note on my computer monitor!!!!


....I just finished writing my post-it note when I looked up and read this. :giggle

I also underlined the "stressed" part of "distressed" so I would rememeber that part as well.

Do you ever find yourself like a broken record thinking things like "comfort corner....hands on face....halted....gentle hands...comfort corner...hands on face...halted....gentle hands.....notheBibledoesn'tteachspanking...whatwou ldjesusdo....comfort corner....hands on face...halted...." and of course in my mind, it goes on and on, and sometimes out of the blue some of these ideas pop into my mind.

I guess that's a good thing? :shrug
Or is this a quality I should worry about? :grin

Bonnie
11-03-2005, 01:12 PM
Sounds good to me if it helps! My dh chuckles at me some days when he gets home and hears me muttering to myself "He's only two. He's only two. He's only two..." Or better yet, "I am the grown-up. I am the grown-up..." ;)

seekermum
12-22-2005, 03:16 PM
This place really is a minefield of useful information. I love the acronym thingie and I'm going to put it on my fridge door. I also love the idea of calling HALT instead of stop or danger. For too long I have been a yelling mummy and I could scream these words at the top of my voice with no effect at all. I can start afresh with HALT though. I know that if I explain it to my son and we have a few practice runs in the garden it will work for us.

Thanks
Seekermum

hey mommy
05-02-2006, 02:06 PM
I like that.. I'm going to hang it all over my house. LOL.. I let ds run ahead of me sometimes and when I want him to stop I would yell stop. I realized that was really stupid b/c stop needed to be reserved for danger. So I say freeze instead. It works too. He makes a game out of it and is pretty good about asking when/if he can run ahead.

apmommy
05-02-2006, 03:23 PM
Sounds good to me if it helps! My dh chuckles at me some days when he gets home and hears me muttering to myself "He's only two. He's only two. He's only two..." Or better yet, "I am the grown-up. I am the grown-up..." ;)


Yep!!! :tu

mumw/lov
05-09-2006, 09:34 PM
I like it. I like it a lot. :highfive I will try this. My husband is going to say. What else dear. I can hear it now. :clap

soberwoman
05-12-2006, 05:36 AM
I have used HALT in the past too. I hardly ever get passed Hungry before the problem has been solved :)

CarerQuie
07-04-2006, 12:03 PM
Thank you for this acronym.Most useful.

CQ.x

heartsong
09-08-2006, 01:09 PM
I would like to add another "t" to the word because I just got done learning this in a parenting class I am attending.
H ungry A ngry L onely T ired T riggered.

NayneeNoo
11-30-2006, 06:25 PM
So, for the acronym, I've never heard this before. When they're having :hissyfit , we try each one of those in order to try and fix the situation? Right?

H- Hungry
A- Angry
L - Lonely
T- Tired
E- Embarassed
D - Depressed/Distressed/Discouraged*

OpalsMom
11-30-2006, 06:36 PM
We found another one this weekend that doesn't fit the acronym: In pain!

I tried to get DD's socks on, she wasn't having any of it, I was just as out of it as she was and forced them on, she said they didn't hurt (she said, in fact, that they were "too blue and too comfortable"), DH had Big Feelings and it all went pear-shaped in a bad bad way for a while. When I took the socks off (I had told her she could take them off and wear sandals when we got to our destination if they were still bothering her -- previously this has always solved her issue and we haven't needed to do it) I discovered she had a cracked toenail :doh So she was hungry, triggered (by having me force her socks on), and in pain; I was hungry and tired; DH was hungry and triggered (by hearing her scream). When we got to the quiet, fed point, we were all sane again.

But any pain will make you cranky.

canadiyank
11-30-2006, 11:07 PM
So, for the acronym, I've never heard this before. When they're having :hissyfit , we try each one of those in order to try and fix the situation? Right?

I don't think it has to be in order, exactly, but just to consider them as possibilities. Like, lots of times I'll find I'm cranky b/c I'm hungry! :idea

Shrewsburys Whimsy
04-30-2008, 12:12 PM
I was always taught HALT in the context of working from our overflow and not from our deficit. HALT represents various kinds of voids or needs. These need to get filled in a healthy way or we will act out to get the needs met or filled inappropriately (helping someone because I'm lonely and want to feel needed, eating because I'm tired, controlling people because I'm angry, etc). God has called us to work from our overflow, to give of ourselves generously and not grudgingly. This is really hard for me when I'm exhausted from my infant not sleeping AGAIN and feeling easily lonely because my husband is at work. When loneliness and lack of sleep combine, I end up depressed and angry. I can't always fix the HALT but at least it helps me understand whats going on so that I can stop and pray.

Living My Dream
08-27-2008, 07:28 AM
Sounds good to me if it helps! My dh chuckles at me some days when he gets home and hears me muttering to myself "He's only two. He's only two. He's only two..." Or better yet, "I am the grown-up. I am the grown-up..." ;)


I was searching about HALT but i had to post how much this made me giggle. This is sooo me! Hes only two hes only two! LOL DH thought i'd gone mad when he came home one day and heard me chuntering that.