lumpofclay
05-20-2005, 12:57 PM
OK, so I had a hard time making up a logical subject line for this post. ;)
Chandler is 7. Maddux is 4. Chandler frequently tells Maddux to do things for her, and Maddux is completely happy to do them.
Examples: C & M are sitting in the sandbox. C says, "M, go get those two trucks over there." (two trucks are 20 feet away on the patio) M gets up and gets the trucks.
C & M are playing outside. M comes in and says, "C wants some water."
C & M are playing in the living room. C says, "M, go in the playroom and get the Barbies." M goes to get the Barbies.
etc.
Should I step in and stop this behavior? Should I stop doing things for Chandler when she has sent Maddux to ask me? She started all this (2?) years ago when she thought we'd say yes to Maddux, but no to her. ("M, go ask if we can go outside and play.") We would have told her yes, just as well as we would have told Maddux. It didn't occur to me till it had been going on some time what was actually going on.
What do y'all think?
The thing that complicates matters in my mind, and in DH's mind, even more so, is that I have two step-sisters that are terrible about this. The older one can't do anything for herself. She bosses the younger one around all the time, and the younger one, out of love for the sister, does whatever whenver, even though she doesn't want to. :( It's really sad. (Seriously, younger step-sister cleans older step-sister's apartment, takes care of her baby, etc. Older SS is 21. Younger SS is 17!)
I know we'll "empower" Maddux enough that she hopefully won't be abused by anyone like that, and ground Chandler enough that she won't try to use her sister like this forever. I know, in my head, that this isn't a long-term problem. But I guess I still question how to handle it. Thoughts?
Chandler is 7. Maddux is 4. Chandler frequently tells Maddux to do things for her, and Maddux is completely happy to do them.
Examples: C & M are sitting in the sandbox. C says, "M, go get those two trucks over there." (two trucks are 20 feet away on the patio) M gets up and gets the trucks.
C & M are playing outside. M comes in and says, "C wants some water."
C & M are playing in the living room. C says, "M, go in the playroom and get the Barbies." M goes to get the Barbies.
etc.
Should I step in and stop this behavior? Should I stop doing things for Chandler when she has sent Maddux to ask me? She started all this (2?) years ago when she thought we'd say yes to Maddux, but no to her. ("M, go ask if we can go outside and play.") We would have told her yes, just as well as we would have told Maddux. It didn't occur to me till it had been going on some time what was actually going on.
What do y'all think?
The thing that complicates matters in my mind, and in DH's mind, even more so, is that I have two step-sisters that are terrible about this. The older one can't do anything for herself. She bosses the younger one around all the time, and the younger one, out of love for the sister, does whatever whenver, even though she doesn't want to. :( It's really sad. (Seriously, younger step-sister cleans older step-sister's apartment, takes care of her baby, etc. Older SS is 21. Younger SS is 17!)
I know we'll "empower" Maddux enough that she hopefully won't be abused by anyone like that, and ground Chandler enough that she won't try to use her sister like this forever. I know, in my head, that this isn't a long-term problem. But I guess I still question how to handle it. Thoughts?