How to get Dobson books out of my church library?

[GrowingInGrace]

No really!

I can't believe they even have them as the literature by our church founders lands squarely against spanking and punishing.

Worth a potential battle with the pastor/church board or just shuffle them to the top shelves behind the boring stuff?

[Wonder Woman]

well, it depends on how big your church is and how close you are to the pastor!

I just went to my pastor and told him I had serious concerns with some books I had found in the church library, and they contradicted our theology. So he gave me free rein to remove anything from the shelves that we didn't believe in.

Voila! Instant Dobson removal...plus I took out a bunch of other punitive books.

And the Harlequins someone donated :laughtears

[GrowingInGrace]

unfortunately very small and the pastor is definitely a problem. :think

I doubt the regional conference cares about our library either. :banghead

[DogwoodMama]

Do you have a church librarian? I actually volunteer as a librarian at my church (I was in there so much they just recruited me ;)) and I was talking to the "head" of the library committee about updating our parenting sections, starting with adding "Heartfelt Discipline" and "The Mission of Motherhood" by the Clarksons... I would look first to whoever is "in charge" of the library, and perhaps share with them the AAP statement (there is one, isn't there?) against Babywise, and also concerns about Ezzo's character that he was excommunicated, etc. by MacArthur, and also while you're at it, suggest some better options. :)

[GrowingInGrace]

fortunately there's no ezzo, pearl or worse (is there worse??????) just dobson and mainly his discipline books (of all things).

There's no librarian that I know of. it's a REALLY small church.

[Wonder Woman]

If there's no librarian....
*sneaky alert, Rebecca ducks*
just check it/them out....
if anyone asks for them,
just offer to donate some other books because you misplaced the ones you checked out!

passive-agressive, I know!

[milkmommy]

If there's no librarian....
*sneaky alert, Rebecca ducks*
just check it/them out....
if anyone asks for them,
just offer to donate some other books because you misplaced the ones you checked out!

passive-agressive, I know!

:laughtears I was thinking the exact same. Check them out then say opps we had a "little fire" :eek and replace them with a series of Christian AP book way superior to Dobtson dribble... :hiding

Deanna

[DogwoodMama]

Or better yet, why don't *you* volunteer to help in the church library? How are new books brought in and catalogued, etc.? Is there a budget for purchasing new books at all? Our church has a library and we have specific goals for it... to bring in good commentaries, and well-recommended & theologically sound Christian non-fiction... if you were actually involved in it, you could legitimately make the bad books disappear and over the long-term have a positive effect on your church's collection. :) Also, another thing our library does is we periodically put an insert in the bulletin or newsletter highlighting what books we have b/c a lot of times folks just don't know. :)

[ArmsOfLove]

I think offering to run the library if there's no one doing it is a great idea!

[GrowingInGrace]

ack, how did I know that was coming next! :laughtears

I'm going to end up doing everything due to my perfectionism! :laughtears

I already got myself signed up for bulletin editor, newsletter editor and children's bulletin editor in the last month!

and church clerk is threatening over my head since I now have the addresses of church members. :eek

hmmmm.... I might just do that!

Hope I don't have to remember Dewey Decimal for that! :lol

[joystrength]

Just curious, Growing ... are/were you an editor before children? I was.

[GrowingInGrace]

No, it rather fell into my lap because the "present" one abruptly left (I guess her husband got transferred?) and I had agreed to help out from time to time last nominating season; and promptly forgotten it.

She was also the church clerk.. erk. :/


Good thing I always had high marks in English!

As for the budget for books, there is none. I'm pretty sure all were donated, which of course brings up the hairy issue of what to do with them. As much as I want to just make them disappear, I just don't feel morally right doing that.

hmmm.. I sense a call to the pastor coming up.

I'm already there to copy and fold bulletins, why not sort books?

[2sunshines]

Hmmm, personally, I'm not so big on "getting rid" of books that we personally might not agree with. I mean, what if you do all this hard work, get the library stocked (maybe even with your own money) with lots of great GD, AP books and then 5 years down the road, someone who strongly believes in something else comes along and "gets rid" of all the books that you worked so hard on getting into the library, just because they do not agree with them.

I think that instead of trying to get Dobson books out of the library, you should make it your goal to help stock the library with great GD and AP books so that when people are looking for parenting books, they have a variety to choose from.

Plus, if your church is strongly against spanking, the parents within the church would most likely lean towards choosing those books with a gentle parenting approach anyway, right?

Just my 2 cents...

[Benjaminswife]

Hmmm, personally, I'm not so big on "getting rid" of books that we personally might not agree with. I mean, what if you do all this hard work, get the library stocked (maybe even with your own money) with lots of great GD, AP books and then 5 years down the road, someone who strongly believes in something else comes along and "gets rid" of all the books that you worked so hard on getting into the library, just because they do not agree with them.

I think that instead of trying to get Dobson books out of the library, you should make it your goal to help stock the library with great GD and AP books so that when people are looking for parenting books, they have a variety to choose from.

Plus, if your church is strongly against spanking, the parents within the church would most likely lean towards choosing those books with a gentle parenting approach anyway, right?

Just my 2 cents...


ITA...I don't like the idea of getting rid of books just because I don't agree with them...I wouldn't want someone whose views were different than mine doing that.

[GrowingInGrace]

I would agree if I didn't feel that Dobson's theology was the driving force behind his methods. I don't think there's any moral responsibility to carry books that our denomination disagrees with on theology. We certainly wouldn't carry pagan books, KWIM?

We don't believe in Original Sin, etc as Dobson does and I don't see why we should invite that theology in just in the name of "parenting".

Plus, if your church is strongly against spanking, the parents within the church would most likely lean towards choosing those books with a gentle parenting approach anyway, right?

Unfortunately a lot of people in my generation view our denominational literature as "outdated" and don't even bother to consult it. :(

[DogwoodMama]

Oh, BTW, there are Dobson books in our library that are not going ANYWHERE anytime soon... so that is why I'm trying to ADD books by the Clarksons and others as I feel led. :tu

[GrowingInGrace]

I wish I had money to add books!

I'll have to keep my eye out on half.com. :lol

[2sunshines]

I would agree if I didn't feel that Dobson's theology was the driving force behind his methods. I don't think there's any moral responsibility to carry books that our denomination disagrees with on theology. We certainly wouldn't carry pagan books, KWIM?

If you feel that they contradict the theology of your church, then it's something that you should definitely take up with your pastor. If his books contradict your church's theology, I can't imagine the pastor having any problem immediately eliminating them. That would be a much better method than just "getting rid" of them in another way. I mean, if they just "disappear", the issue has never been addressed and they could just be re-donated. If you talk to your pastor and he agrees that they shouldn't be there because they contradict what the church is teaching, then they will be eliminated forever, never to reappear, right? :shrug

Let us know what you decide and how it goes. :hug

:)

[haak]

I'm sorry but this might offend some people but isn't this censorship? Are we really so insecure in our parenting that we are afraid to let someone even see the other side? Don't you think God can work in people's hearts and minds? He doesn't need our help!! Plus I would way rather see someone reading Dobson's books (who has years of study and training and gives specific limits to spanking) than Pearl's or Ezzo's. Also taking something from a church is like taking something from God-it is His church, His books, His library. He is in charge! How would you like if someone took all the books you agreed with away? Just be a light and an example- let people come to you and ask how you parent- Then you can suggest books. Dobson's books are what saved me from my over spanking parents. They respected him and read what he said and let up on the spankings- maybe someone else needs that too!

[GrowingInGrace]

With all due respect, censorship is not always a bad thing. There are plenty of books which church libraries wouldn't include, why shouldn't parenting books be on that list when the theology is just as incompatible as a non-parenting book?

Also taking something from a church is like taking something from God-it is His church, His books, His library. He is in charge! How would you like if someone took all the books you agreed with away?

If you read, I have no plans on taking them for that exact reason.

[GrowingInGrace]

btw, it's not just a book or two, it's the WHOLE series of his older books (ie far more spanking recommended) and the whole series of lectures on tape. It takes up a whole shelf.

[callasandra]

I have a little different slant on Dobson in the church library. For me Dobson provided a common sense approach to raising my children when they were young. Lets face it, some people are going to spank whether we like it or not. And they spank for many reasons. Being against spanking is not going to change how a lot of people discipline. Dobson gives people who spank a kinder approach than Pearl or Ezzo. He approaches child raising with common sense, with a sensitivity towards children, he understands how children develop and expects children to be children not miniature adults. By keeping him in the library parents who do spank will have more of a common sense approach to spanking. By removing him from the library parents who spank could very well end up reading and following Ezzo or Pearl who have no concept of child development or common sense.
Callasandra

[haak]

:amen
Very well said Callasandra!!!

[Soliloquy]

By removing him from the library parents who spank could very well end up reading and following Ezzo or Pearl who have no concept of child development or common sense.
Callasandra


I agree that of the three (Ezzo, Pearl, and Dobson) I find Dobson to be the least objectionable. I hear what you're saying, though about a WHOLE SHELF of Dobson materials, though. That gives the appearance of an endorsement of Dobson teachings/methods. Not everything Dobson writes is objectionable to me, though I find his premise that parents must win in their "battle" with their children permeates much of what he writes about childrearing. He has written that parents must break the will of the child (the whole premise of his book, The Strong Willed Child).

Sadly, I did read many of Dobson's books before I had children of my own, but while I was working with other people's children (nanny, daycare, and public school teacher). Since his works were in almost every church library/bookstore, it seemed to be the "final word" on child rearing. Oh, how I wish I had read some other viewpoints/ways of doing it! I didn't know there was any alternative for Christians. It could've saved me years of frustration (and the kids I cared for, also!!!)

I strongly encourage you to, at the very least, get some GBD books in there and see if you can find a different area to "store" some of the Dobson materials. LIke I wrote above, a whole shelf give the appearance of an endorsement.

[This Busy Mom]

I think also letting your pastor know how your parenting is a plus, too. Our pastor was actually sermoning about following popular trends and how it can be a negative thing, and one of the trends he brought up was Dobson :eek . I was surprised, because I've seen him get mad and yell at his daughter (not thinking about it, I gave him a different response to say, then I got embarassed and took off... this was all before this sermon). We have an effect on everyone we come in contact with. Whether it's positive or negative is up to how we present it (and how the listener takes it). Communication skills are vital :D .