8 year old doesn't like fruits and veggies

[peacefullone]

I have hardly ever gotten him to eat decent food really since he was a baby. I remember when he was a baby and I was feeding him, he started spitting food out of his mouth. He was not nursed, :cry sad to say. Anyway, there's been times I would expect him to eat what I gave him, and he would end up puking it up as he's trying to chew it and swallow. He's really a good kid, and I feel like I'm way to hard on him. This afternoon, I expected him to have a few bite sized pieces of watermelon. Like four bite sized pieces. He sat there for a very long time, refusing to touch it. He had already made up his mind that he might not like it. I told him he is eating it. I also ended up telling him that if it's not gone by the time I'm done doing something that he's going to get spanked. ( I grew up in those settings, to some degree. Though I think when I'm frustrated, I'd rather do something than to ignore it.) I also told him after he puked it out, that he's going to get spanked. ( I really don't want to do it.) I need some help and to understand my son. He told me that when he licked the watermelon, it was sorta good, but when he was eating it, he couldn't stand it. I told him, I'm coming here to ask for your help. I love him and want to help him in the best way possible. I wonder if he just has gotten to used to eating the fast prepared food and now can't stand to eat the decent healthy foods? Or if he makes it up in his mind and therefore doesn't like them? I REALLY need your help and support. Thanks,

Holly

[PurpleButterfly]

:hug mama - I'm sure you are worried about your ds's health and that must be very stressful and frustrating to say the least. :(

My ds is very "texture sensitive" - watermelon is one of the foods that does make him gag, too. I've come to recognize that some of the things my ds has been strong about not wanting to eat, have been foods we've discovered he's allergic to. Talking to other mothers about this has revealed that it's not uncommon for children to naturally avoid allergens in their diet. Usually it seems to be dairy, sometimes berries or melon...trust him in his instincts and what he's describing to you. He sounds very genuine about the watermelon and it's quite similar to what my own ds experiences (liking the smell and flavor but not being able to swallow the flesh).

If he's used to fast foods, his palate is definitely going to be desiring those high-fat foods, which are very satisfying and hard to resist. Go slowly and little by little, help him by offering healthier and healthier choices at every meal and snack and in what you stock in the house.

One of the things I've found to be helpful is to sneak healthy foods in wherever I can. (Obviously nothing I think he may be allergic to.) My ds loves sweet things, so I make fruit smoothies with fresh or frozen fruit and add a scoop of soy and spirulina powder if I have it handy. Many days I'll whip up frozen strawberries, half a banana, and some vanilla soy milk - sometimes add a half container of yogurt for extra creaminess, and a few ice cubes. He also loves banana peanut butter smoothies made with soy or rice or almond milk and a few ice cubes to give it that milkshake texture. :yum

I puree veggies and add them to spaghetti sauce, use tri-colored veggie rotini, and use veggie soy crumbles instead of beef. Involving him in preparation and cooking really seems to encourage him to try more things, too. There's a fun cookbook for kids called, "Pretend Soup" - (by Mollie Katzen, author of the wonderful Moosewood cookbooks) - that is made to be shared by an adult and child, and helped my ds become more excited about trying new things and cooking with me.

Most importantly, I learned from another great book, "Feeding Your Child with Love and Good Sense" (by Ellyn Satter - ignore the bf advice but the rest is worth gold ;) ), to leave the mealtime power-struggle of my own childhood behind. When I stopped trying so hard and pushing my child to eat, eat, eat....when I gave him the control and showed him my trust in his instincts about what he chooses to put into his body, that's when we both found freedom and pleasure at mealtimes together. I cannot recommend this book highly enough, and you should be able to find it at most local libraries. You can dive straight into the age-appropriate section you need and not have to waste a bunch of time before getting to the nitty gritty great advice and suggestions (such as serving family style rather than plating food individually).

Talk with your son. Tell him you feel like you've made a mistake in trying to bribe him to eat or scaring him with threats. Apologize and open the conversation up...ask him if there are any changes or anything he thinks might be helpful or that you could do to be more encouraging and make mealtimes more enjoyable. Ask him if he's interested in making a "yummy vs. gross" list of foods with you that you could then expand on little by little but at least have a possible foundation of basic healthy foods to build on and work with. After he lists his favorites, make a grand buffet for him as dinner one night! Don't have any expectations and don't make any comments if they're not positive, and expect that he won't try everything even though you worked hard on it.

Have healthy options at every meal that you know he will eat. Whole grain bread, pastas, dips for veggies....those are usually reliable staples for most kids. Serve everything family style and allow your child to choose what (or what not) to eat, including portion sizes (and he'll test you on these because he's not used to being in control) without making comments. But if he doesn't eat much, and wants something later, be prepared with a few healthy choices - I usually offer a yogurt or dinner leftovers and that's it. It takes time and patience but eventually your son will come to recognize that his opinions and tastes really do matter and will be responded to and most importantly, that you trust him to make his own eating choices. And that's when you're really going to see a whole new side to not only healthy mealtimes, but in your overall relationship. :tu

[momofmany]

Kym's suggestions all sound great! I also want to suggest juicing. Another suggestion I remember reading about that I haven't tried (but need to!)is to take your child produce shopping with you and let them help pick out and prepare the things they like. Also, a really great book is "The taming of the C.A.N.D.Y. Monster" by Vicki Lansky. She has a lot of neat ideas for healthy eating. I have four picky eaters myself so I know where you are coming from.

[peacefullone]

:hug mama - I'm sure you are worried about your ds's health and that must be very stressful and frustrating to say the least. :(

Thanks so much for your love and encouragement! :hug I really needed to hear those words. As I read, I could feel the tension release, in a way. If I make any sense? Kinda like reading the Word. How things click just right. It will really help. You know in a way, that's how I am already with Timmy, I just have a very hard time being this way with Kyle. I don't understand why that is so, though. Though I've found myself starting to get more limiting with him too. Oh, I need God's help. I don't want to start really messing up and hurting his own food choices, too. Timmy has been thinking it's neat to get something out of the fridge and eating a little and then throwing it on the floor or sharing it with the dog or cat. and also not wanting to sit at the table. He started that when he was learning how to stand. We never got on him a whole lot about that, so I think that's why he does that. He's such a busy guy. But anyway, thanks so much for your help.

smiles,

Holly

[peacefullone]

Kym's suggestions all sound great! I also want to suggest juicing. Another suggestion I remember reading about that I haven't tried (but need to!)is to take your child produce shopping with you and let them help pick out and prepare the things they like. Also, a really great book is "The taming of the C.A.N.D.Y. Monster" by Vicki Lansky. She has a lot of neat ideas for healthy eating. I have four picky eaters myself so I know where you are coming from.


Thanks, we also do this. He likes to pick things out when we are shopping. He has been wanting, lately to make some peanutbutter, chocolate milkshake. I could try the juicing, but don't know how we will take it. Is it possible for kids to be allergic to alot of fruits and veggies? Or is it possibly just his cravings?

Holly

[sadie]

It's very possible. Also, he might be rejecting them b/c of the coercion/control issues involved. Sometimes when children feel they are being pushed or forced, they shut down and refuse to cooperate altogether. I second Kym's suggestion...backing off a little might work wonders! :)

[peacefullone]

I have been backing off. It's so hard to change but I've been catching myself when I notice I'm sliding back into the ways, that I don't want to be. With God's help and you Mommas, I can change this.

I gotta tell you, this morning, when Kyle was getting ready for school, it was a quarter or so after 6 (so he still had plenty of time to eat a decent breakfast and he only wanted a banana. I told him no, because I wanted him to eat a decent breakfast. I was positive. (Now I wonder if I should have just let him have the banana? But I didn't think that would be enough to tide him over until lunch. Sometimes, I think that it's a long time until lunch.) So I didn't let him have only a banana. It's hard to let go of some things. So, he got out the milk and chocolate syrup and rice crispies. I let him usually have that. though I kinda don't like that he thinks he needs the chocolate syrup. But I remembered the yesterday he made the chocolate peanutbutter shake. So I asked him if he would like it if I made him that for his cereal and we could put it his cereal. He thought it would be neat. He tried it but didn't like it. But he had about two glasses of it to drink. He said he didn't want to finish the cereal because he didn't really like it. So I said, ok, it's up to you. If you don't want to finish it, you can throw it away. I didn't make a big deal of it. I think we had some success this morning. in some ways. so I'm alittle encouraged to see more changes in this with Kyle and me. :D

smiles,

Holly

[Mama Calidad]

As I was reading, one thing that I thought of was that he might really like some smoothies for breakfast. You can find lots of recipes online, but our favorite might be one that he'd like a lot. You just put milk, a frozen banana, a scoop of peanut butter and I let DD put a handful of chocolate chips in. I let her do that part, because her hand is little and doesn't hold that many :lol but she put them in and she knows that there is chocolate in there. ;) You might have to adjust that if your son has a bigger hand. :P

Other than that, I'll just second what Kym said. :hug

[lmgeenw]

I definitely agree with the power struggle idea. My daughter is very picky about food and she tries to get me upset by saying that she won't eat or that she isnt' going to eat this or that. Sometimes I think she lives to turn anything she can into a power struggle. As long as I don't show I care, she just gives up. Another idea (and this is a HUGE challenge) is to only have healthy food in the house and to model healthy eating. We never have sugary foods or chips or soda in our house, so it isn't an option. At meal and snack times I put a variety of healthy foods on the table and my daughter can eat what is on the table or choose to not eat. Sometimes she doesnt' eat much for a day or so, but she eventually gets hungry enough and will eat anything I put in front of her. It is amazing how good those green veggies look to her if she is hungry enough. :) I think Dr. Sears recommends having a shelf in your refrigerator with healthy food that your child can eat whenever they are hungry. You prepare the food every morning (cut up veggies, fruit, cheese, etc.) and your child can help themselves throughout the day.

I would recommend the Feeding Your Child with Love and Good Sense book too.

[allisonintx]

All these ideas are great for the long run. FWIW, my pickiest eater was breast fed for nearly three years. His first food was Avacado and he ate all kinds of veggies until he turned three, then he QUIT! We do try all those things to sneak in good foods for him, but we also finally just did the Juice Plus thing so he wouldn't have gaping holes in his intake. We found he was fine with the capsules that you swallow rather than the chewable kid ones.

[tree_hugger]

FWIW, my pickiest eater was breast fed for nearly three years. His first food was Avacado and he ate all kinds of veggies until he turned three, then he QUIT!

Mine too! :)

[sarahandmadelinesm]

My oldest is only two, so we are not "there" yet--she is pretty easy to fool:)
These work for us:
Foods that are easy to hide:
black beans (in ground beef dishes, mash them up:)
yellow squash (diced, can slip into a lot of things w/o tasting funny)
cooked cauliflower can be mashied into mashed potatoes
muffins can hide a variety of fruits and veggies, esp if you frost them with cream cheese/orange juice frosting and call them cupcakes.
pasta can hide a variety of things--either in the sauce or as mix ins or toppings, ditto for pizza. (wioth pizza, I just chop the heck out of thngs at add them with the cheese.
(by the way, all of the above work on my 40 yr old husband, who refers to veggies and fruits as "foul weeds")

I have also found that Sarah will be much more likely to eat something she helps prepare--we make soup, smoothies, etc, with her standing on a chair and dumping in the ingredients (before the heat is turned on in the case of soup). She will happily eat what she has made.
Does he have an interest in cooking? picking out a cool kids recipe (family fun has some that can be modified to be more healthy) and shopping, preparing, then eating it would be a fun activity--and worth a try:)

Hope this helps, picky eaters are tough!

[sarahandmadelinesm]

Forgot one more--dips:_
we like Sami's Bakery organic flax & millet chips (these are GOOD!) or organic blue corn chips, with a cannellini bean dip or guacamole (heavy on the avacado). Yummy, taste like junk food, but good for you:)

[peacefullone]

As I was reading, one thing that I thought of was that he might really like some smoothies for breakfast. You can find lots of recipes online, but our favorite might be one that he'd like a lot. You just put milk, a frozen banana, a scoop of peanut butter and I let DD put a handful of chocolate chips in. I let her do that part, because her hand is little and doesn't hold that many :lol but she put them in and she knows that there is chocolate in there. ;) You might have to adjust that if your son has a bigger hand. :P

Other than that, I'll just second what Kym said. :hug


That sounds really yummy! You gave me another neat idea. :clap

smiles,

Holly

[peacefullone]

We found he was fine with the capsules that you swallow rather than the chewable kid ones.


My son does take a vitamin. Is this what you mean?

Holly

[peacefullone]

My oldest is only two, so we are not "there" yet--she is pretty easy to fool:)
These work for us:
Foods that are easy to hide:
black beans (in ground beef dishes, mash them up:)
yellow squash (diced, can slip into a lot of things w/o tasting funny)
cooked cauliflower can be mashied into mashed potatoes
muffins can hide a variety of fruits and veggies, esp if you frost them with cream cheese/orange juice frosting and call them cupcakes.
pasta can hide a variety of things--either in the sauce or as mix ins or toppings, ditto for pizza. (wioth pizza, I just chop the heck out of thngs at add them with the cheese.
(by the way, all of the above work on my 40 yr old husband, who refers to veggies and fruits as "foul weeds")

I have also found that Sarah will be much more likely to eat something she helps prepare--we make soup, smoothies, etc, with her standing on a chair and dumping in the ingredients (before the heat is turned on in the case of soup). She will happily eat what she has made.
Does he have an interest in cooking? picking out a cool kids recipe (family fun has some that can be modified to be more healthy) and shopping, preparing, then eating it would be a fun activity--and worth a try:)

Hope this helps, picky eaters are tough!


Forgot one more--dips:_
we like Sami's Bakery organic flax & millet chips (these are GOOD!) or organic blue corn chips, with a cannellini bean dip or guacamole (heavy on the avacado). Yummy, taste like junk food, but good for you:)


These are some very cool ideas!!! :clap I plan to print these out and start this tonight. :hearts Thank you!!!

smiles,

Holly