Confession time...

[Miss Priss]

I haven't done any school with my kids in about 3 weeks. :blush
Why? Because I've been cleaning. Before that I was doing okay with school, but the house was a wreck. I feel like there's no way I can have balance. Dh has been very happy and giving me compliments, etc because the laundry is staying kept up and the house is looking nice (read: he's not having to do much around the house), but we're getting no school done and the kids are extra needy of attention because they're not getting it.
I feel like I'm just a failure, I know there are moms who keep a clean house and homeschool with more kids than I have? So what's *my* problem????
I just can't seem to get it right. :banghead

[lumpofclay]

:nak

Are there really moms who can homeschool and keep their house clean? I mean, really. Are there?

Some days, I think I'm doing well. I seem to get on a roll. Other days, I feel like I can only keep so many plates spinning and housework and school aren't spinning at the same time.

I :heart FlyLady. I have learned so much from her. I know that 10-20 minutes is very beneficial. We do a 15 min. pick up once or twice a day, depending on the day. It really does work. So right now, I'm doing well with 2-3 hours of school in the AM (we're moving towards a CM approach, so that's why we're schooling so long. . . reading lots, etc.). Anyway, we school in the AM and finish before lunch. Then after lunch, the girls have 15 min. of quiet time and then we all do the 15 min. pick up. *That* part is going well for me.

*however* :blush I can't seem to do the other 20 minutes of cleaning I'd like to do. I had a great schedule going, but I wasn't spending as much time with school as I wanted (or needed!) to be. Each morning, after I was ready, I would do two "besslings" (mop, vacuum, make menus, etc.) Now I don't want to take time out of my mornings in order to do that because it will make it that much harder to finish before lunch. With our afternoon schedule (dance, gymnastics etc.), I need these things to be done in the morning. I don't want to get up at the crack of dawn either! :shrug

I really want to see some replies here. I'd like to know how much of a balance others have.

If it weren't for my DH, who is doing all the laundry :blush, we'd all be in trouble! (He is laid off, though, and we have a 4 month old. I so appreciate his help!)

[ChristineG]

:hug This is an issue that I bet most of us struggle with. First off, I noticed your 'hunk of burning love' in your signature, who is 12 months old. I just wanted to say that a baby and/or toddler makes a BIG difference in a homeschool and in a home. It is just plain hard to get housework and homeschooling done with little ones. It is a season that won't last forever and there will be lots of time for a very clean (and empty) house later. A few weeks ago, I had this revelation (kind of silly, I know, since most of you probably already get this!) when my mom had my 3yodd with her at a church program for the morning and our 16modd was asleeep and I was hsing the other two. It was soooooooooo easy and smooth (and quiet and clean!) and it suddenly dawned on me, "Hey! It isn't hsing that is hard! It is hsing with a baby and toddler!" :idea

Second, you say you know there are moms with more kids than you who hs and have a clean house. How do you know? Have you seen it when you visit? My house is fairly clean when my friends visit, too. I don't take them to my basement or the kids' bedrooms or have them look in my closets. And...if they showed up an hour earlier than they said, they would see a fairly different house. I have cleaned up a lot because they are coming over.

However, at the same time, there is no reason for you to live in complete chaos and never get any school done. Our saviour has called you to do this, so he will help you to do it. Please remember, though, that it probably won't end up looking like the perfect or near-perfect picture that you have in mind. You may not end up feeling like you are really on top of things all the time. His helping you and your getting into your groove may just leave you feeling like you kids are going to turn out okay and no one will get lost in the clutter.

A couple of things that have helped me over the years:
I highly second FlyLady. You can find her at www.flylady.net and she is fantastic. All her advice is completely free and on her website. She really believes that anyone (including hsing moms of many) can have basically organized homes by changing a few small things in their lives at a time. I haven't been able to get it completely together like her, but I have made some big improvements.

Next, I have really benefitted from a more structured routine. By nature, I am a fly-by-the-seat of my pants person. I like to just flit around here and there and I used to believe that this is what our children liked best, too. However, I have discovered that children really and truly like routine. (I'm not saying they like rigid schedules, but who does?) A book that helped me originally was the book, Managers of Their Homes by Steve and Teri Maxwell. This book helps you step by step to create a schedule that is a great fit for your family. It helps you to really seek out God to find out what His priorities are for you. They encourage you that if God has called you to do something, there will always be time. We used this type of schedule for a year or two and I found that not only was our home tidier, but I was getting scrapbooking and sewing done and playing with our little ones, etc. However, eventually, once I learned the benefits of routine, I found that we didn't need our entire day scheduled, but rather, just the hsing part, so I went to a shortened schedule with more free time. This book is available from various hsing suppliers. One word of caution, though, is that although I enjoyed and benefitted from this book, I do not endorse their website, their parenting style or many of their views. They are highly legalistic and have many extra-biblical ideas that they promote as scriptural. I am a person, however, who is really able to "take what works for me and leave the rest', like we always say at LLL. :heart

Another thing that has helped me is having several small times a day when we clean the part of the house in which we spend the most time. Our living room and our dining room are one big room, so it is this room that we tidy. I have the kids pick up before all meals and before Daddy gets home. It is a great feeling to eat lunch without toys and books spread everywhere! And, this way, we can finish our meal and get onto other things without having to work amongst a huge mess. It also helps to keep the room from getting completely unmanageable.

I have also tried to identify time-busters in my life. Spending time on the internet is a BIG one. If this is a struggle for you, it might help to log exactly how many minutes you are doing this. Hmmm. That may be a good idea for me. It is easy to fool youself if you don't have the hard data facing you.

Finally, one thing that has really helped me is to realize that I have to stay at home much more than I was. This seems contrary to keeping a house clean, but it isn't. If routine is your friend, and I believe that it is, you can't stay in a routine if you are taking off to moms' groups, shopping, hsing field trips and friends' homes all the time. We have chosen to have our hsing finished by Thursday at lunch, so I have Thursday afternoon and Fridays for these things. We aren't crazed structure lunatics who can never take advantage of some great field trip that happens to be on a Tuesday morning, however, I try to keep these things very minimal. This is an area of HUGE struggle for me, but I find that I am so much more at peace when I have stayed home during the times I have planned. If I expect our children to get into a chores routine (and this is not only essential, but also for their own benefit) I can't expect it to happen if we take off somewhere 50% of the time during the time we have set aside for chores. I no longer schedule doctors, dentists and midwives' appointments during hs time, thinking that I can make it up later. I never do end up making it up. It also does not work to try to 'fit in' hsing in the car or on the go. This is fine for true emergencies or very special occasions, but not as a regular occurrence. I have told myself, "Hsing is my full-time job. I need to be here and to take it seriously. How would I be different if I were being paid $50,000 a year to do this?" I would have a time for hsing and a time for cleaning and a time for outings and they would not be the same time. :)

Considering all of this, you very likely have a false idea of how much other people 'have it together'. I always say that one of the worst things that hs moms do is attend hs meetings, listen to the different things that everyone is doing with their kids, squeeze all those things together into one superhsmom and try to become just like her, forgetting that no one is doing all of these things. You are accountable to God. Listen only to him. :heart If you aren't getting school done for three weeks, this is a problem, but with his help, you can handle it. :heart

[Mama Bird]

Ok. I totally agree with both PPs. It is not possible to homeschool and do deep housework daily. (FTR, you should NOT feel guilty. The beauty of homeschooling is that we can take breaks when we need them. You've got all summer to catch up, if you need to. But we need to remember that many public school children don't get all the way through their textbooks either! ;) )

I'm struggling with this right now, too. I have a son who is almost 3, and he's...well, he's messy. :lol

I may try Flylady again. I need to do that 27 fling boogie again...and again...and again! :laughtears

[Chris3jam]

Clean? Um, we're supposed to clean house? Laundry, I can see. Dishes, ok.

Yes, I have this problem, too. And anytime that I have to choose between cleaning and spending time with my kids, guess what wins out (to the dismay of my dh)?

[CelticJourney]

The only time this has not been an issue for me was when I decided it was time to add "Life Skills' to the curriculum and get them to help me get things done. It doesn't always work for long, but ....

[hearttender4]

This is definitely a struggle, but it helps me to try to have school work done by my youngest dd's naptime, then do some cleaning then and laundry at night. We also take off Fridays from lessons, and I get a lot of housework done then. The kids are a big help when I can remember to delegate!

[AttachedMamma]

Well, they *have* been learning about cleaning...and cleaning solutions...and dust bunnies... Surely this could fulfill some chemistry or at least, home economics requirement! :laughtears

I have one child--a 4.5 yo. We are not "officially" HS. My DH helps tidy and do dishes. My house still looks like a mess most days. :blush I need less square footage! :idea

cindi

[2ds1dd]

ITA with the others ..... There is NO way I can do "real" housecleaning and HS in the same day, both the kids and I get burnt out from that. So I try to schedule cleaning big-time just 1 day a week. And if we have to run errands I use that as "life skills" as well. Like a PP said .... Dh and I figure HSing doesn't stop just because summer hits so we will get done what HAS to get done and the rest will wait till summer.

[This Busy Mom]

I'm not juggling it all well, either. Now that the baby's mobile, it's getting harder.

[mommyTay]

We also do most of our school monday- thursday and use fridays for housecleaning and errands. Not that my house is very clean yet. :shrug I have tons of decluttering to do, before I feel good about it.

[arymanth]

I was thinking about this thread tonight. I have really let my housework get waaaaaay behind and of course I felt overwhelmed just thinking about catching up. After I read the OP, I decided it was time to get some things done! I put on some Big Band music, cranked it up, and informed the kids that we were going to "Jazz" the kitchen. (It should have been "Swing", but "Jazz" sounded more fun! LOL) I passed out plastic bags and we raced to see how fast we could get everything picked up. We "Jazzed" the trash, the laundry, the dishes, and the library books. I also used some ideas from Flylady... we worked for 45 minutes, then we took a 15 minute break, then went back to work. We have gotten more done in two hours than I have in TWO WEEKS! :D

When my kids were younger and I had just started homeschooling, what helped me was to keep everything to a minimum. I only let them keep a few toys in their rooms... no more than you can pick up in 5 minutes! The rest of the toys go into storage where they can be rotated out every 6 months or when the other toys get boring. Keep the clothes to a minimum. Each child only gets about 5 pairs of pants, 8 shirts, and two pairs of shoes... plus boots and sandals. Every morning make it a habit to throw in a load of laundry when you get up so you don't get behind. Keep decorations to a minimum, that means less dusting and fewer things to get broken. (voice of experience here :)) Try to find ways to make cleaning a privilege instead of a chore. My kids like doing dishes WITH me, it gives us time to spend together one on one. I wish I would have started this with my older kids, but I always thought it was so much easier just to do it myself. :blush I have been trying to get them involved in helping me clean in a positive way, but it has been difficult since I started so late. With my youngest, I have been telling her things like "a good cook always cleans up her mess as she goes! A good artist never leaves her supplies out where they could get damaged or lost." Since she always prides herself in doing things "the right way", this has really helped. :D

I do second the recommendation of checking out the Flylady website. I don't follow her plan exactly, but I have learned a lot of things from her website and emails.

Hope that helps!

Stephanie

[ChristineG]

IWhen my kids were younger and I had just started homeschooling, what helped me was to keep everything to a minimum. I only let them keep a few toys in their rooms... no more than you can pick up in 5 minutes!...Keep the clothes to a minimum.

:) What a GREAT principle! I will remember this and apply it to my life for sure. It reminds me of something a mother of 11 said at our hs conference. Never pour out more juice for a young child than you are willing to clean up. :) Thanks for the great tip!!