If - Then Chart

[prayerbear]

To a chat group I host a document has been sent in which is so sad and awful. I wonder if anyone has time to look through it and think about the sections and verses and punishment column?

If you do have some time email me or pm me for the whole doc. here is just a few rows:

not answering and coming when called He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24 chastisement

not following instructions completely Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6:1 loss of privilege

whining when given an instruction to do Do everything without complaining or arguing. Philippians 2:14 extra work or loss of privileges
or NOT to do something or doing that Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. Proverbs 10:4
thing poorly or with a crummy effort

Unkind and Unloving Actions or Words: Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, isolation
name calling, teasing, yelling at others, because you know they produce quarrels. 2 Timothy 2:23
giving orders, picking fights, causing trouble

I would love to write back to this doc in a positive manner but I am a very antagonistic person I think .. I seem to say things in a way that initially gets people to hate what I am saying before they even read it.

[prayerbear]

hitting, biting, kicking, throwing Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32 chastisement

I had to add this one as it seems bizarre people would consider it a punishment for positive effect to do exactly what the child has done.

I really would love to be able to discuss these things with people in a way that engages them rather than distance them. KWIM?

[prayerbear]

I have changed much of the chart already actually and I think it is a really helpful chart now. If anyone would like it when I am fully done please pm me as I dont know how to or if we can upload it to here.

here is one row I am really unsure how to complete though. Any help anyone?

hitting, biting, kicking, throwing Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32 chastisement


Here is how I changed others so you might have an idea what I have done:

If colomn:
talking back, shouting “No” or “I won’t” making ugly faces, sticking out your tongue, raising your fists, stomping feet, throwing tantrums, walking away when Mom or Dad is talking arguing, making excuses or blaming someone else when being corrected

verse colomn:
The wise in heart accepts commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin. Proverbs 10:8 The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures. Proverbs 30:17 Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Proverbs 4:24

Then colomn:
chastisement

Here is my changed version:

If colomn:
talking back, shouting “No” or “I won’t”making ugly faces, sticking out your tongue, raising your fists, stomping feet, throwing tantrums, walking away when Mom or Dad is talkingarguing, making excuses or blaming someone else when being corrected

Verse colomn:
The wise in heart accepts commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin. Proverbs 10:8
The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.
Proverbs 30:17Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Proverbs 4:24

Teaching of James 3:1-18: 2For we all stumble in many ways … 6b the tongue is set among the parts of the body and yet defiles the entire body, … 8But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. 9With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. 11Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? 13Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 17But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Then Colomn
Sow the seeds of peace and lead by example. Face the emotions and explore their meaning and understanding so that they can be dealt with and understood.


So any help on the hitting biting much appreciated.Cheers

[ArmsOfLove]

I think it's great you changed it so beautifully :) I'll tr to get over and check it out :)

[mzietlow]

I actually have this chart. I bought it before I discovered GBD. I was so frustrated that in my punitive mindset it seemed like a great tool. But I never used it, because God led me down the gentler path before I could, and I never felt comfortable with the recommended punishments anyway. There are actual pictures of wooden spoons to use!

I love what you did with the example, and would be very interested to see more, if you are inclined. It would be neat to show my husband. It would take you alot of time, I imagine, though.

[OneSillyMommy]

i had this too, a few years ago. :sick I even laminated it :blush Fortunately i didn't use it very often. I did have the blessing chart as well, and we used that much more often. That would have been worth keeping around imo.

[mzietlow]

Wondering what the blessing chart is? Example from it?

[prayerbear]

I have done most of it now. I sent it back to the person who sent to the yahoo group and she loved it. I am relieved. I was worried it would come across wrong.

I really am stuck on the hitting and biting though. When ever mine have done this just a big hug and 'No' have surficed..

Help !

I will email it to anyone who pm's me as I cannot put a table on the board I think?? anyone?

[prayerbear]

If this is something that people would like to buy then why not get it done as a chart for GCM shop?

[prayerbear]

HOw strange. My kids began fighting today and I had to deal with it!!! Oh how can people say there is not a God?

I wrote down what I did does anyone have anything to add or point out?

If colomn:
hitting, biting, kicking, throwing


Verses colomn:
Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.
Genesis 37:4 When his (Joseph’s) brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.
Psalm 119:104 I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path.
Psalm 13:5a The righteous hate what is false
Genesis 31:27 Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn't you tell me, so I could send you away with joy and singing to the music of tambourines and harps?
Ezekiel 18:32 For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign LORD. Repent and live!
Jeremiah 31:4I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful.

Then colomn:
Take time to spend with the children. Firstly make sure each person has a chance to explain without interruption their view of what has happened while all the children listen. Take time to sit down on the floor (so your at the same level) and discuss how you feel things have gone on and how this effects the outside and inside. It hurts not just others but also ourselves when we hurt others. It makes our own heart and minds hurt when we hurt others. Help children offer forgiveness around the group Bring Joy just as our verses say God restores and builds us up when we repent.

[TulipMama]

Prayerbear, I'm so glad that you've taken the time to update the If-Then chart for those mamas!

I "inherited" the If/Then chart along with a lot of other homeschooling "classics" from my MIL. There was a time I thought it was great--though I never used it. I remember Hubby and I taking it out of storage at it about two years ago, and realizing just how punitive it was--and how yucky it made us feel. Even Hubby, who is not hard-core-gbd, didn't like the attitude that the If/Then chart portrayed.

This is a verse I think my boys would really understand (and motivate them):
Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.