The five steps and things you cant really "help" with?

[mama2mychildren]

Our DD is two years old. I'm just curious, when there are behavior issues that you cant really help with (steps 3 and 4) what do you do? Ex. DD takes a swat at my face while I'm holding her or I ask her not to throw her food on the floor. The five steps work fine for discipline related to action but I feel like they are ambiguous when there is nothing to really physically help her with and she sometimes looks confused when I ask her if she needs my help for certain things.

Also, what do you do when parents of other children (or grandparents, snicker) are looking for your immediate response to your child? When there isnt enough time in a situation to walk through the five steps?

[schoolofmom]

In the situations you're describing, I let consequences speak for themselves. If my dd smacks me, I put her down. If she throws food, she's ready to get down from her seat--I don't even ask her not to. :) I make sure that I tell her why it's happening, too.

As far as your last question, can you give a specific example? Sometimes I feel really pressured to skip some of the steps when I'm in the presence of others, even though they're still appropriate in that situation. (Of course, sometimes they're not appropriate...)

[Irene]

what about being quiet when needed, like during prayer or when dh and I want to get at least a sentence or two out?

[Tengokujin]

The 5 steps aren't the answer for every situation. I hope someone can talk about that a bit, because I can't find the right words to draw distinctions. And, IMO, at 2 years old, all five may be a bit much. However, I haven't experienced 2 yr. olds yet, so take me with a grain of salt! :)

With my 20 mo. old, the 5 steps are me "you need to..." giving him time to respond, and probably then "do you need mommy's help" AS I begin to help.

In public or in situations where time is of the essence I do a 'you need to" as I help/remove him from whatever. Physical proximity. Physical proximity also makes whatever you are dealing with just a bit more private, so it doesn't become a lecture/demonstration on the 5 steps for your skeptical relatives or whoever.

I think that the 5 steps should be used fluidly with the situation and child in mind.

Prayer??? Do you mean at home at a meal or in church? At home we keep praying before a meal short and to the point. Ds seems to be getting the idea to be quiet during that time, and if he starts to make noise, DH wraps it up quick and I usually put my hand on DS's arm. My idea there is that I am acknowledging him but continuing in what we are doing.