Please help my friend!!

[Allison]

Thanks guys!

[MarynMunchkins]

He sounds like a normal 3.5 year old boy to me. :shrug

First of all, what does she expect him to do all day without anything to play with? :/ He has no toys, and is bored with t.v. I assume he's not allowed outside by himself. Taking everything away will result in more trouble, because than he'll be bored. I'd help him pick out maybe 5 toys to play with, and leave him with those. As he treats them well and shares them, he gets to earn back other toys. If she was dong 5 time-outs a day and taking away 3 toys at each time-out, the kid has too much stuff. :lol I'd seriously consider paring it down.

Secondly, screaming angry words like that is normal. It just shows an intense personality with big feelings and an immature grasp of the English language. They need to model what they want him to say when he gets angry. Try again is a big help for this one. :)

Frankly, she sounds afraid of her 3 year old. :( She needs to realize that his emotions don't dictate her own emotions or actions. She's in charge, and she doesn't have to battle for control with her child. The rules are the rules, and her job is to enforce them. His screaming doesn't change the rules, and it doesn't make them wrong.

[Micah]

:hiding
Lurking and Learning!

[Dizzy Blond]

I would suggest your friend read two books:

Playful Parenting
How to talk so kids will listen and list so kids will talk. (both on the GCM approved books list on the original site).

I would also suggest she find a way to allow her ds to express his anger appropriately. Like an angry dance. He should be allowed to say he's disappointed and not happy dad did _______, but not allowed to say dad is an idiot. So when he said dad is an idiot, mom or dad needed to say "we don't use those words, but do you mean you are upset dad did ________".

We all have anger and if he stuffs it, he'll never learn how to express it appropriately.

Good luck!

[CelticJourney]

Couple of things struck me.

He's just 3.5. I know they are capable of a certain level of behavior, but take me out of my time zone and drag me through Europe and I would need some timeouts, too! (actually I probably did - l lived in Germany as a preschooler)

First, maybe dad should have asked him what movie he wanted in the first place rather than opening up the choices to those that were not going to work.

Unfortuntely a more natural consequece for the described outburst is lose of tv privilage, not loosing toys. I get the feeling that there is more to that than talked about here.

If this is not happening at school, I think this is a parenting disconnect. My nephew is great for my brother, my parents and me, but screams and kicks and acts like a devil for my sil, who, among other things, has been trained by her boys that any day she is off work (works shifts) they MUST go to Toys-R-Us for a new toy or she will PAY in other ways.

They are going to have to go through some tough time of establishing boundries before this can get better.

[Joanne]

I don't think it sounds "normal" at all. I think it sounds out of control.

I think the parents are over punishing and under disciplining him. He needs firmer *limits*, fewer *punishments* and lots of coaching.

[ArmsOfLove]

I agree with Joanne. Although I will say it sounds typical 3 where those things are happening ;)

Also, at this age he can understand and agree to things but in the moment it's unrealistic to expect him to remember that commitment. That is setting him up to fail :( Especially if he's punished for it.

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