what do your kids call adults?

[bostonsmama]

a few friends of mine have their children call adults Mr/Mrs. example, i would be
Mrs. Elise, then some use last names....but the more informal name for me would be Mrs. Elise, kind of like at a daycare.

They don't think children should address adults by using their first name, as it is disrespectful.

Dh and i aren't sure what we think about this..I mean, obviously there are some people that need to be addressed as Mr/Mrs. but.... we don't really know where to draw the line?

Any input? What do/will your dc say? :shrug

[Kasi]

I follow the other adult's lead, so my children address adults according to the adult's preference. Some close friends are simply by first name, per their request. Some are Mr/Mrs "First Name", while others are addressed formally.

In my experiences with this, I've noticed that older adults (older than me that is) and those in church-ish circles, tend to want to be addressed formally. Those around my age, and those younger, prefer less formal address.

For me, I'm Ms. Kasi to most children or "M's" mom.

[MarynMunchkins]

Yep...usually I'm Ms. Mary. Actually, the first time I got called Mrs. E by a kid, it took me a minute to respond. :lol I had to think "Oh yeah...that's me!" :D

[Maggie]

If they're friends of ours or adults around our own age, we'd use first names, but, of course, I would follow their lead. For older adults, like grandparent-age, I'd automatically use Mr./Mrs. [insert last name here], but if they asked to be called by their first name, we would. I only like to be called by my first name by children.

[BeckaBlue]

to me it depends on the parents desire. i dont mind being becka, but ill be ms. becka too if the kids parents want that.

i usually automatically call ppl 'ms FN' when talking to my kids, and they uusually followsuite w/ calling them that. if the other made it known theyd wanna be referred to as ms ln then we'd switch to that, but when ppl say they can just say the fn i usually still go w/ ms out of habit. am i making sense?? my bf is the only adult my kids generally call by just fn

[gamomof2]

My kids address adults that are family friends, young adults, etc with "Miss" or "Mr" and this first name. For example, my bestfriend is "Miss Janice", and her dh is "Mr. Steve".
They address other adults Mr. or Mrs. Last name.

[sadie]

Ditto Maggie totally. :)

With close friends/family, the first name only is fine. If an adult wants to be addressed more formally then that is what we would do. Also, if I address someone more formally (which I usually do with doctors, etc.) then I guess dd would also, from following my example. I also like for children to just call me Sadie, like everyone else does. :) It actually takes me a moment to register that it's me if I'm called "Mrs. Wasmund." ;) :lol

[Sanveann]

I also like the custom of children calling adults Mr. Jason, Miss Kathleen, etc. I think it's very charming, and that's what we intend to have our kids do :) Calling, say, our friends Mr. Hughes or Miss Herald just seems too formal, but it weirds me out to hear kids calling adults by their first names!

[Thia]

Some of our friends have been dubbed uncle/aunt FN. For people who aren't as close, I think I would prefer mr/mrs LN. If the person tells dd to call them by something different, then that is okay.

[Epieikeia]

It all depends--generally I'm fine with whatever the adult wishes. When I had my first son I thought for sure I would make him address everyone with formal title/last name(ie Mr/Mrs. so and so).

But now that my kids are older--I've relaxed--I don't think that just by my children calling an adult by their first name means there is no respect. But that is just weird.

Personally I like the title plus 1st name(ie Miss Jenny)--I know that's a southern tradition. When my sil was in gradeschool in Atlanta that is how she addressed all of her teachers.

What is weird for me is to have kids just call me by my first name out of the blue--but of course I find the whole *Mrs. xxx* weird also.

[Dove]

My kids call everybody by Miss/Mr First Name. The only exception is if the person has another title ie. Pastor Rob.

[Mama Bird]

Ditto the PP. Our children call our doctor Dr. Jim. It's sort of funny how you draw the line. Our friends are Mr. or Mrs. Firstname. My brother's girlfriend and sister's boyfriend are just Firstname.

Until our children are invited to address an adult by only their first name, they use Mr. or Mrs. then Firstname.

[Embracing Grace]

Hmm.. We haven't gotten to that point yet with our ds, and have not even thought about this issue. When I was growing up my siblings and I called everyone "aunt..." and "uncle...". But I guess that was a cultural thing, (we grew up in Russia). Every stranger you met on the street was an "aunt" or an "uncle", I guess equivalent to "Mrs." and "Mr." Anyway, I think we'll have ds call people "Mrs. first name", and Mr. first name". I think for a young child it might be confusing to call various people differently (whatever they preferred). It's would be nice to call everyone the same.

:)

[mommyTay]

I had a very hard time with this at first. When I was little I was taught that EVERY adult was to be spoken to as Mr/ Mrs <last name>. This was a really weird transition when several years after I graduated, I worked at a job with a former teacher, from the high school I attended. I kept calling him "Mr E....", he kept laughing at me and asking why I couldn't just call him by his first name. The weird twist was that he quit teaching because the teens were disrespectful and disinterested.

Now, I agree with the PPs, most adults are Mr/Mrs/Miss FN. I introduce my children to adults using their formal name, then follow the wishes of that adult. That way they are familiar with both names.
Some close friends are addressed as Aunt/Uncle FN.
To our foster children we are Daddy Mark and Mommy Tay.

[milkmommy]

We will teach our child to say Mr. Mrs/Misses and last names if that grown up makes a requuest to be called by first tname well repect that but still keep the Mr./Mrs etc..
Deanna

[AprilBr]

Mr., Ms. and first name. I think it is cute.

[bostonsmama]

thanks for all the replies. we figured we would do the Mr/Ms. first name, but i am still a little confused on where to draw the line. like what about family? well, distant family? do you still address them as mr/ms? (if theyre not an aunt/uncle)

and, how do you address others? do your dc ask why you dont call someone Ms. but they do? say, if we were to meet, i would be Ms. Elise to your dc, but Elise to you...do they get confused, or does this not come up as often as i think? sorry....i love the idea of using mr/ms fn, i just still have some questions

also--i understand that when you introduce your dc to someone you would use Mr/Ms, but what about just during conversation-- or do you just always call people by mr/ms also? :)

thanks mamas for all your insight :)

[ranade3]

I am feeling very old-fashioned here. I don't know if it's because I am from the northeast or because I am a teacher but I am addressed as Mrs. lastname at school and at home teaching piano lessons and at church by all of the children and their parents. I am always taken aback when parents tell their kids to call me by my first name but I would not correct them if that's how they did it. Close friends are aunt and uncle, close friend who is a doctor we call Dr. first name and his wife we call Mrs. first name but only because my friend's parents are still living also a Dr. so both the son and his dad would be the same exact name if we didn't call him Dr. firstname. I do have a friend on the west coast who was weirded out by the Mr/Mrs thing so we do make exceptions and call her and her husband by first names and they do likewise. Also, dd's sitter goes by first name as did I when I nannied. So there are exceptions to the rule but in a case by case situation. Dd addresses all parents of other children her age by Mr/Mrs last name and the other children do the same so it must be a regional thing.

[milkmommy]

Dd addresses all parents of other children her age by Mr/Mrs last name and the other children do the same so it must be a regional thing.
I'm totally with you it just seems weird not to do this.... SO just letting you know their is a tiny portion of the Extreme South West that agrees with you :lol

Deanna

[Maggie]

There was a thread related to this on the old board and it did seem that Southerners were more likely to use Mr./Mrs. Interesting!

Shanna, I was kind of intrigued (not in a bad way!) at the fact that you find it weird to be called by your first name. I wonder if you have been more often called by Mr./Mrs. LN since you're a pastor's wife and they're used to using the title for your husband? Just thinking out loud. :)

[ranade3]

Elise, I just reread what you wrote about relatives that are not aunt and uncles. We always called my parents' cousins Aunt and Uncle and we were well aware that we were cousins (once removed) but it was a way to show respect and to show that we were family. What I find really awkward is that my brother insisted that my nephew who is 6 years and 10 months younger than I call me Aunt when we were little. He still calls me Aunt and so does his wife :-) Now it's just what I am called. But my daughter calls my older nieces and nephews all by their first names and they have children her age. Also, another awkward situation is that my step children have children the same age as my dd but they are calling dd Aunt Deborah. I have told them it isn't necessary but I think they think it is fun to do so whatever I guess.

Another regional thing that feels strange to me is that my nieces and nephews from Texas and Kansas all say "yes ma'am, and no ma'am". It is nice but it feels strange. On the other hand, when kids in my school say that to me I feel like they are being disrespectful to me. Almost sarcastic even though it may not be. I don't say anything because I am never sure but it sure feels wrong to me to hear a kid in upstate NY saying yes ma'am to me.

I just had the yes ma'am conversation with a couple of my sisters the other day and so it's fresh in my thoughts :-)

[ranade3]

I obviously cannot answer more than one part of your post in the same post :lol

I call other adults what I want my dd to call them just like I talk about Grandma and Daddy and sometimes call them that to their faces, I do the same thing with the adults in dd's life. It's sort of like in school when all of the teachers call each other Mr and Mrs in front of the kids but not when they are alone in the teacher's room. The only thing that confuses my daughter is that she mixes up Mr/Mrs and can't always remember which is the woman and which is the man. So sometimes when we are talking she will ask me if that is the man or the woman :lol

[boonpnutsmom]

Here in Hawaii, women are auntie and men are uncle, whether they are family or not. If it is a close friend it is Auntie ________ or Uncle _________. If it is just a nice person talking to you then just auntie or uncle.

[bostonsmama]

nanita...thanks for all of your answers! i live about 5 minutes outside of kansas and i never hear anyone use the yes ma'am phrase, unless its a kid being sarcastic, then its more like yes MA'am (cant really show where to put the emphasis!) so i know what you mean about that phrase being sarcastically spoken!

and, interesting about the auntie and uncle in hawaii! thanks gals!

[luvinmykidz]

I personally don't think it is disrepectful to call someone by their first names unless they prefer to be called Mr or Mrs. If they want to be called Mr or Mrs. then that is what my child will call them, otherwise I have no problem having a child call an adult by a first name. I only see it as disrepectful if someone says that they would rather be called Mr. or Mrs. If not then its not disrespectful in my mind. I wouldn't want to be called Mrs. I would just like to be called by my first name only.....I guess everyone is different. :shrug

[snlmama]

My kids use Mr/Mrs. Lastname unless we know the adult prefers a different form or address. I don't really care what other people's kids call me as long as they are respectful when they do so. Most of them call me "S's <or L's> Mommy." :mrgreen