Another GBD WOW

[milkmommy]

I've been thinking about the argument that spankings don't teach children to hit. (topic on another board) and been thinking of ways to bring up the fact I believe it does. Well all day yesterday I became aware of something soo obvious I had to laugh. We can totally trust DD with "objects" in the sense she won't use them as weapons. (not that in times excited play might warrent we remove it) like My DD loves to play with the vaccuums extension pieces, she carries my DH belts all around the home, She has drum sticks she bangs together or drums on the floor. The most "hitting" shes experieced is DH playfully whacking her over the head with an empty paper towel roll. (oviously gently and DD just giggles) It amazes me how she can bang on our piano, drum intently on the floor with her drum sticks, swing the vaccuum extentions through the air but when in my lap totally understands gentle touches. She comes and taps up on heads with paper towel roles just as gently as we do to her.
Their has been a recent increase of posts (not here) saying my childs hitting biting being aggressive. We spank and it doesn't phase them.... Hum sure about that? Sounds like they might be learning quite well. :/

Deana

[sadie]

Their has been a recent increase of posts (not here) saying my childs hitting biting being aggressive. We spank and it doesn't phase them.... Hum sure about that? Sounds like they might be learning quite well.

Well said, Deanna :clap :clap :clap

[MarynMunchkins]

Colin is BY FAR my least agressive child. :) Kids learn what you teach them.

[chelsea]

I totally agree. Last weekend we were at a convention and around many babies, most under a year old. I wasn't sure how my 16-month-old would act with them since he is not often around babies and I was afraid he might be innocently rough. I watched him like a hawk and was tickled pink to see him approach the babies time and time again...pause, stoop to their level, gently caress their hair and exclaim "Baby!" I guess I shouldn't be surprised to see him relating to those smaller than him in a gentle way when that is how he is related to by the adults who love him! :hearts

[SandKsmama]

While I agree that spanking CAN and does lead to more aggression, I wanted to add a little observation just based on my own family. My oldest daughter, who was spanked the most unfortunately(took Growing Kids Gary's way when she was 3 ugh), is the least aggressive of the 3, and always has been. She did tantrum until she was 5 - which I didn't attribute to spanking at the time, but I KNOW that had a lot to do with it now, but she never hit, kicked, bit, etc. She is just a passive kinda kid in general.

Our younger 2 are *extremely* physically aggressive. My middle child (a boy) has been spanked, but not nearly as much as the oldest and now not at all and he is just more physical than any child I know. He started hitting wayyyyy before he had ever been spanked. He also occasionally bites in frustration.

My baby has NEVER been spanked (yeah!) but she is the most aggressive of the 3. And she just recently started smacking whoever happens to be near her when she gets frustrated, but she's never been hit by us, and we haven't spanked in a long while, so she hasn't seen it either.

Maybe my kids are untypical, I don't know. But I just wanted to make sure that we were understanding that some kids are just naturally more aggressive than others. Some kids just *are* rough, even if they see/hear/experience gentleness. :-)

Amanda

[milkmommy]

Oh yes I ment to say thay in my OP and forgot :blush some kids are simpily more hugh strung even more naturally aggressive. I'd wonder though if your DD wouldn't have been more mellow if you haden't spanked or how aggessive your others would have been if you had countinued to spank?
Deanna

[JessicaTX]

Growing Kids Gary's way

:laughtears
I'd never heard it this way before, toooo funny =)

[Irene]

Amanda, I dont spank either, and I have two hitters too :shrug (although, I am less frustrated with ds because this time I have the tools to deal with it ;) )

[MarynMunchkins]

Oh, Colin hits. ;) Just not as much as the other two.