LGP week one day 3

[Irene]

Im not going to be here tomorrow, so heres for Wednesday

When you are upset, say "I feel angry and its okay". Accept all your feelings. They are signals. Anger is a signal that you need a change. Take a deep breath and say "I am willing to see this differently

[Radosny Matka]

Boy, does that ever hit home this morning. I don't know why, but I am so cranky. :mad I think I am getting burnt out and need some sort of break. I'm going to go take a shower and hopefully feel better.

Peep talk to myself - "Sara, this day is yours. You can choose to be miserable and make everyone else miserable, or you can choose to make the best of the gorgeous sunny day that the Lord has given you. What's it going to be?"

[Lillyma]

Take a deep breath and say "I am willing to see this differently


That is where my problem lies. It is so hard for me to see things differently when I am angry. I know what's happening. I know I am getting angry. I know I need to see things differently. But I draw a complete blank! It's like I'm seeing a wall of red. :banghead I need to put myself in positive time-out more. Can anyone share how they've successfully "seen things differently" when in the mist of anger???

[Close2MyHeart]

These have been interesting to me. Anyone else not have/read the book??

[greenemama]

last night before i went to bed i read irene's OP. OH MY GOSH!!!

at 4:30 both kids were crying. jude was wide awake screaming and henry was crying with dh in his room. i thought i was going to LOSE MY MIND. i had to say several times "i'm angry that i cannot sleep. that's okay. my babies need me. i can choose to be a big crab and not be a comfort to anyone or i can choose to be gracious and loving and patient."

it's like everything is magnified now that we are studying this book. like i'm really supposed to be learning it. :wow

[Dizzy Blond]

Anger ... something that I really used to struggle with in a huge way. I finally have victory over it. I still get angry, but at least I can control it. What really helped me was to just take it to God. Let him know I am angry. Have that conversation with him "So_and_so said this and it really made me angry, this really hurts because ......" When talking it over with God, I can see the area of hurt that it brings up that triggered my anger, rather than focussing on my anger. And then I can focus on the hurt & how to get over or deal with that in a positive way.

[phermion]

These have been interesting to me. Anyone else not have/read the book??


:tol
I haven't been able to get the book, either, but I am following along and writing on my mirror. ;) I've realized this week that my children are saying the "you're/he's/she's making me______". They are mirroring me. :blush I'm working on it!! :tu Keep sharing, sisters, it's helping. :highfive :grouphug

[DogwoodMama]

I totally had to reframe a situation today, b/c my anger/annoyance wasn't appropriate, actually. :blush I slept poorly last night, so I'm cranky, & this is my second day on Weight Watchers. Dh is full of questions about what I am eating and how points work etc and my first response (b/c I'm tired & cranky ;)) was to get defensive & tell him it's none of your business what I'm eating for lunch. :blush :( Totally innappropriate of me. Stopped, took a moment, realized it wasn't a bad question, dh is interested in what I'm doing b/c he is my husband & wants to support me AND he may be evaluating his own diet as well but wouldn't admit it. :O

So rather than view dh's comments & questions as intrusive, I need to reframe them as genuine curiousity & interest, not that he's judging me that I;m going to fail (b/c of course I have a fear of failure :O). I need to focus on calmly answering them... his interest & support will help me in the long-run & he might even be inspired to make some positive changes himself. :)

[crunchymum]

it's like everything is magnified now that we are studying this book. like i'm really supposed to be learning it.


yep. :rolleyes it always works like that for me......

[MidnightCafe]

Yeah, today has been a testy day for DD. She's tired but won't nap. She's a "spirited" kid & I know she had a rough morning because we went to the fabric store & she couldn't run around. She was helpful & cooperative there...not so much now. I don't blame her. And I've kept my frustration in check.

On a postive note, I think I actually do well reflecting feelings & taking responsibility for my own when I'm around her. I noticed that she doesn't say that something is making her feel a certain way, she says, "I feel...." When we got home today she said, "Mama I am so frustrated that I can't splash in the bathtub. I am so angry that it makes the bathroom all wet!" :laughtears Pretty articulate for a 3yr old!!

[crunchymum]

I noticed that she doesn't say that something is making her feel a certain way, she says, "I feel...." When we got home today she said, "Mama I am so frustrated that I can't splash in the bathtub. I am so angry that it makes the bathroom all wet!" Pretty articulate for a 3yr old!!

oh my gosh, that's awesome! :wow

[Irene]

it's like everything is magnified now that we are studying this book. like i'm really supposed to be learning it.

yes yes yes!!!

I just wanted to quote something from the book about resistance

when you become aware of resistance tell yourself "resistance is your friend" resistance acts as the brakes in your life. without resistance, change might come too fast. sometimes we do need to slow down , doing so can be wise. notice that when your children are changing the fastest because of their natural develpment, they are most resistant to you. they must use their brakes, just as you must

I think I need to remind myself of this daily because I get so "geez, Im learning this and I should know better and blah blah blah" beating myself up about it.
anyway, change is hard, we arent going to turn into super awesome parents overnight :mrgreen but can you imagine, at the end of the seven weeks, looking back at these first few post, and where we might be? Im looking forward to that. :D

[LoveToReadMommy]

I like where the author said that self control is a moment by moment decision. That we do blow it, but we can regain it back the next instant. Something like that. Because I totally struggle with "allowing" dd to "make" me angry, I can only take so much, then I blow and spew all over her. :blush I really loved the book, and really like focusing on this one week at a time. I typed up the focus of week one and have it on my fridge so I can be reminded constantly on what I am trying to change.

I really enjoy reading these posts too, it's helpful. :)