What's a natural consequence for lying?

[julbug]

DS knows the proper way to show affection to our pets, but sometimes when he plays outside and our two dogs are outside too, he gets excited and/or feels the need to "take care of them" and his exuberance can get out of hand. We've spoken to him about this several times and he understands how he is supposed to behave with the dogs but he doesn't always do it. :rolleyes

Well he came inside this afternoon with one of our dogs' collar in his hand, saying "Look what I found." Now since I have seen him "lead" the dog by his collar "so he wouldn't go too far", I suspected this is what had occurred and the collar had come off in the process. DH and I asked him if that was the way it happened and he admitted it and apologized for behaving inappropriately with the dog. We discussed it and DH and I agreed that the natural consequence is that he is not allowed to play outside at the same time as the dogs, and explained to DS that he was showing us that he could not handle the responsibility of playing outside at the same time as our dogs. :(

So, that's the consequence for breaking the rule about how to behave with the dog, but what's a natural consequence for lying to us about it? Or telling a lie at all for that matter?

[MarynMunchkins]

Honestly, I think that since he told you the truth, the lie shouldn't be addressed. Just like I don't expect "first time obedience", I don't expect "first time truth" - especially from a kid where it's perfectly age-appropriate to tell a lie to get out of trouble. :think

I'd praise him for telling you the truth, and encourage him to do it more quickly. :)

[Mothering by Heart]

Honestly, I think that since he told you the truth, the lie shouldn't be addressed. Just like I don't expect "first time obedience", I don't expect "first time truth" - especially from a kid where it's perfectly age-appropriate to tell a lie to get out of trouble. :think

I'd praise him for telling you the truth, and encourage him to do it more quickly. :)




We do the same here.

[ArmsOfLove]

I agree. I consider honesty within the course of the conversation to be honesty. They might need some encouragement or reminders to be honest but when they are then I want to reinforce that :)

Technically, what you're doing with him not going outside with the dogs is a logical consequence. It's respectful, related, relevant, and should stop the problem behavior so I say :tu

The natural consequence for lying is that they lose our trust. That's why I find it much more helpful to focus on helping them be successful truth tellers :D