taming the tv & computer monster

[Robersonlass]

We were doing well with 1 tv show a day and a 1/2 hour of computer time. DS 5 has been demanding his computer time, " because it is the only thing that will make me happy" when I tell him no (empathetically) he gets mad, has a huge tantrum and the rest of the day will whine and complain about it.
I am ready to pull the plug all together.
How do you tame the tv & computer monster? Ideas, routines you use or strategies for dealing with this?
Help........ :banghead :/ :cry

[MarynMunchkins]

Do you reflect feelings when you tell him no? Doug is 5.5, and restricting computer is a big deal to him too. :/ Telling him "I understand that you are disappointed. It's hard to wait until tomorrow." helps quite a bit.

If he pitches a fit about it, I point out that he isn't handling the responsibility of having the computer very well. I remove the privilege until he can show me that he is disappointed without screaming at me. :)

[snlmama]

I do *exactly* what Mary said. We've had this problem many, many times w/ my 5 year old. We limit his computer time and we don't have time for it every day. If he has a fit about not getting to do it or not playing long enough he's just not going to be allowed to use it for awhile until he shows that he can be respectful about asking and graceful about accepting no for an answer. :shrug It's hard, I know. :heart

[apbfmom]

I don't want this to come across the wrong way, so please read it with an open mind. What does a 5 year old do on the computer? I ask this partially out of ignorance (my dd is just over 1 year old).

[snlmama]

I don't want this to come across the wrong way, so please read it with an open mind. What does a 5 year old do on the computer? I ask this partially out of ignorance (my dd is just over 1 year old).


No problem. There is a lot of "educational" software out there. Their dads buy it for them. There is also stuff for kids on websites like this:

http://www.pbskids.org
and
http://www.starfall.com

So, I guess they do about what we do - goof around and act like they're "working." :shifty

[MarynMunchkins]

Doug and Ana like www.nickjr.com (http://www.nickjr.com). Doug loves the Thomas the Tank Engine site, and Ana likes Angelina Ballerina and My Little Pony. :)

[Beyond Blessed]

My dss are both technology addicts!!!! And it is definately mine and dh's fault. Slowly but surely we are taming the monsters (the technological stuff, not our boys :lol ). We got rid of the Nintendo 64 and replaced it with a VSmile (completely educational game cartridges). There are to be no cartoons before school and no computer or video games on school days. When they get home from school they play outside or in the basement for about an hour and then get cleaned up. They can then watch some TV while I prepare dinner. If there is a homework sheet to be done they do it at that time. On the weekends they earn 1/2 hour of computer time by reading to me (this is in addition to the 15 minutes we spend reading together). Depending on the difficulty of the book(s), they will read 2-3 to earn some time. Dss are 7 and almost 6 though, and are no longer homeschooled (my adjusting to baby issues :O ). I am not sure how I would handle it if they were home all day. Maybe offer painting/play-doh instead of computer time?

[Micah]

If my child starts throwing fits about his 'limits' (and mine does sometimes with his 'movie time') be it tv or computer. I simply pull the plug period for about 2-3 days and simply tell him that he needs a break from it.

My 3.11 year old is allowed to use the computer for time at starfall.com for about 30 mins twice a week, it's very educational. I don't allow 'twaddle' websites at all...same for movies we don't do cartoon movies (except Max Lucado ones-Hermie, Webster etc) they are only non animated ole classics like Old Yeller, The Yearling, Black Beauty. I've found that they become much less addicted to these.

.02 :hug

[apbfmom]

So now that you have some hindsight, would you recommend waiting until a child is older to introduce these "toys" since they can be addictive?

[Micah]

So now that you have some hindsight, would you recommend waiting until a child is older to introduce these "toys" since they can be addictive?


Honestly the same rule applies for all my kids ages 1-10.
Now that said every now and then we might have a family movie night etc where we do watch a more cartoonish movie or what have you...or every so often they may get some extra computer time etc...but as a general rule we plan to keep the reins tight on this one for quite a few years. It's easier to not start something than to start something then try to break a bad habit later IMO. ;)

We had a real problem with my oldest son and his gameboy (he bought himself etc) he became obsessed/addicted to it, and now that he is on limited time his attitude is so much better! I wish we would have placed limits at the beginning...it would have saved alot of frustration for him (and us :))

My 2nd daughter was allowed to watch movies quite often when very young so that 'mom' could get things done...it was an easy babysitter and became a horrible habit! Same as above I wish we would have limited in the beginning it would have saved her (and us) alot of frustration.

Bad habits are very hard to break, we as adults know that, it's certainly even harder for children, especially when breaking it, frankly is not their choice.

So yes I am a HUGE advocate of very limited tv, computer etc...and even in the limits further limits of exposure.

Does that clarify better?

[LoveToReadMommy]

So weird to hear it being such a big deal to 5ish year olds, I've been having a hard time with mine lately, CONSTANTLY asking to watch and or play. I allow 1/2 hour a day, they choose it to be a video or the computer game. Except the first day they got their new computer game, I let them play it longer. Their media time is suppose to be at the same time everyday, after they take 1/2 hour breaks on their beds with books. dd #2 always falls asleep. Being pregnant, I've been a little laid back, and have let them watch more than usual when I'm really tired. So I guess if I was her, I'd keep asking too, because I do sometimes say yes. Today I warned her so many times to stop asking, and finally I took away her media time for tomorrow. But this is an issue in other areas too, I'm trying to get her to learn to stop asking for things over and over, or asking one parent when the other says no. I've adopted Crystal's "asked and answered" line. I'm tired of engaging in debates with my persistant spirited almost 6 year old. I'm just tired period.

[snlmama]

So now that you have some hindsight, would you recommend waiting until a child is older to introduce these "toys" since they can be addictive?


Not really. I think it wouldn't matter when I choose to introduce it, it's something in our house that the kids are going to be curious about and want to "play" with. My dh works for a computer company, we use computers all the time. So, I think there would be some issues over the computer whether we let him play games or not. :shrug I do think it's important to start out w/ limits and then they know there are rules to using the computer. I believe that about TV also.

But, irl, I actually hear as much concern from the parents who aren't "into" computers worrying that their kids don't have "computer skills" as I do from those worrying about too much computer time. I never gave much thought to that being an issue until recently, but I know at least 2 parents who aren't computer savvy who put their kids in private school partially b/c they get more computer time than at the public schools. :shrug And our local rec. center is offering computer skills classes for 2-4 year old this summer. :wow It's just an issue of balance.

[ArmsOfLove]

We have things that are done at a certain time and there are other thigns that must be done first. Before Liam can play his Nintendo game he must have his room cleaned and practice his piano and recorder.