PDA

View Full Version : 3 week old, cosleeping is great... when to move him?


zak
04-19-2005, 04:26 PM
So DH is okay with co-sleeping. He likes knowing that our boy is being taken care of at first root so to speak :) When DH has 'day shifts' I've been sleeping in another room so he can rest enough to get up early. When DH has 'swing shifts' we all sleep in our King bed and just sleep in late.

Jackson doesn't have his own room - we just have all of his stuff in our room. I have a Graco Pack n Play (I think that's what it's called) set up next to the bed (not butted up against - but only a foot away) and I also have one of those co-sleepers that you can lay in your bed (currently taking up room in the Pack N Play).

HERE'S THE QUESTION:

Right now Jackson sleeps facing me and we nurse and go to sleep every 2-3 hours at night. We nap like this too - on the couch. Anyhow - I'm wondering if establishing this kind of sleep habit now is okay... and how will we transition to another sleep situation in the future? Once Jackson is aware enough of us - I'm sure DH and I won't want to be intimate with him in our bed. (Right now I nurse him to sleep, put some pillows around him so he doesn't roll). Should I be putting him down for naps in the co-sleeper in the Pack N Play to try to get him used to it? I don't want to have to lay with him to get him to sleep when he's 5... KWIM?

Anyhow... just wondering if what I'm doing now is okay? What should I do differently? When? We both like the current situation, but I don't want to be setting us up for a hard time in the future.

Thanks!!!

ArmsOfLove
04-19-2005, 04:52 PM
Are you opposed to having him in bed with you long term?

It is kind of hard to answer the question flat out because how you would transition him would depend on what age you do it :) My recommendation is to take it one day at a time, don't make any decisions on a bad day, and when it's time you will all know it :)

As for intimacy . . . we go to other rooms! Nothing like being creative and fun ;)

zak
04-19-2005, 04:56 PM
LOL! I'm not sure how 'long term' DH and I are comfortable with. Like you said... one day at a time! :)

I think 'long term' until we're threw nursing - and I anticipate doing that a minimum of 14-16 months... I want to get past the 12 month mark. :) DH has said he's fine with that, he agrees. He doesn't want me to have to get up to nurse.

I'll be creative and I'll definitely take it one day at a time... I was just wondering if we were going to be making this hard on ourselves in the future when we're 'done' with co-sleeping on our end... how tough it will be to get him to his own bed.

Crystal - another question... how old is 'too old' to be co-sleeping? What are your thoughts on that?

boonpnutsmom
04-19-2005, 05:01 PM
Our 7 year old, 5 year old and 2 year old sleep with us!!! Not sure if there is a set time to stop but this is what works for us.

ArmsOfLove
04-19-2005, 05:06 PM
Well, we cosleep with all of our children and the oldest is 7.5. You have to remember that in our Western Culture people seem to equate sleep and bed with sexual things and they really are not :shrug At this point our family has grown to the point that we have a mattress on the floor that we slide under the bed during the day and usually two kids sleep down there with their heads at opposite ends. Whoever falls asleep in the bed or on the mattress gets to sleep there :)

I know that not everyone would be comfortable with this set up. I lived in Japan as a child and that's where my mom learned about family bedding. AT the time the highest suicide rate in Japan was among late teen boys who were in the years that they were moved out of the family bed before leaving for college. I coslept until about age 7 and then wanted my own room. With all of our changes in the last year I'm not surprised it's taking my kids a little longer. And the kids do have their own beds for sleepovers and such.

When we were teens my brother would sometimes crawl into bed with my parents if he watched a too scary movie with his friends. I would come home from college and cuddle up with my mom and sleep. She still sleeps in the bed with the kids and I and dh sleeps on the couch if she stays the night. Or sometimes she sleeps on the couch.

I guess the answer of personal comfort level really has to do with how you view nighttime. Different people will have different personal comfort levels. One thing we've found is that as we grow our family it helps that no one is displaced for a new baby. We moved all of the kids out of our room when the twins came home because I was pumping and feeding and watching tv during both of those, etc. The kids came to us and said they really wanted to be back with us and didn't mind all that was going on. They slept through it so we let them stay :)

MarynMunchkins
04-19-2005, 05:23 PM
Well, I personally don't like co-sleeping. :neutral I do it because it's easier for me than getting in the middle of the night to nurse. :)

I started getting Colin (the only one who exclusively co-slept from the beginning) used to the crib/pack&play at about 4-5 months. I usually wore him to sleep in a sling, and than kept him wrapped in it while I laid him down. By 8-9 months, he napped exclusively in the crib.

He's 17 months now, and starts off in the crib at night. When he wakes up, he joins us in bed. I'm hoping to have him out of our bed and sleeping through by 2. :)

Just another POV from someone who isn't into the family bed...:D

kris10s
04-19-2005, 05:43 PM
I always laid Kate down for naps in her pack and play bassinet, snug in her sling. Starting at about 9 or 10 weeks, she started off the night in her crib and then slept with us after she woke up the first time, which at first was 2 or 3 hours, but then got longer. That let DH and I have some time and also made sure she had a safe place to nap. I really feared letting her nap alone on the big bed.

Mamatoto
04-19-2005, 06:20 PM
We started out with our mattress on the floor and ds in bed with us. Now that he is bigger we have a crib without the one side on, up next to our bed. Ds nurses at night then rolls back onto his mattress and pillow which he prefers to sleep on. It works really great for us. :tu

Wholly Mama
04-19-2005, 08:35 PM
Angela,
My boys transitioned into their own beds (well, they share a bed) at around 2 years old, though my oldest will still come into our bed at some point during the night, and my younger one will call for us to come to him in the middle of the night. Sometimes I wish we all were in the same room with more mattresses! It would be easier!
When we had a cradle/crib, we only really used for times of intimacy. We also liked the side-car set-up when baby got bigger - gives everyone a little bit of their own space.
It sounds like you're doing well. I wouldn't worry about what to do in the future. It will happen when it needs to happen. Like Crystal said, take it one day at a time. I never thought I'd nurse past 18 months, but when that time came, I couldn't imagine stopping!! So, I never put a set time on things like that anymore!

mom2_AthruZ
04-21-2005, 02:41 PM
how old is 'too old' to be co-sleeping? What are your thoughts on that?

Well, two nights this week all of our girls were in the bed with us and our oldest will be 10 in June. This isn't an all the time occurance. In fact last night the two older girls laid down with us and were just too giggly so they opted to go sleep in the 9yos room. We haven't alway co-slept but have always made it clear that the girls were welcome to come in with us if they were scared etc. Our two oldest have shared a bed since the second one was about 18mo. Even though they have their own rooms, they still share a bed. I think it is every families preference. For us it works because we ALL get sleep and everyone feels safe. :)

Soliloquy
04-25-2005, 07:11 PM
When my DD was a newborn I had all the same concerns. We started co-sleeping out of necessity. I never planned to do it. DD would wake up screaming within 5 minutes of being placed in her bassinet--even that first night in the hospital! After 2 days of getting no sleep, I decided to listen to her newborn wisdom and bring her into bed with us.

We bought a Snuggle Nest and a Co-Sleeper. We got a lot of use out of the Snuggle Nest but the Co-Sleeper hardly got used.

I, too, kept saying "By the time she's 3 months (then 6 months, then 9 months, then CERTAINLY by 1 year!!) she'll be sleeping in her crib. She's now almost 15 months and sleeping right next to me in our king size bed. She's only slept through the night 4 times, but I've always felt well rested. I never went through that dazed zombie phase that most moms tell you about. I credit that to co-sleeping. If you have a firm mattress that's big enough, it can be an awesome arrangement. But, like all the previous posters wrote, every family is different. Some babies don't mind being in their own bed at a young age.

As far as intimacy, I know not everyone is comfortable doing this, but as long as DD is sound asleep we have s*x with her in the room. She's never woken up during.

HTH!

zak
04-25-2005, 08:51 PM
I never went through that dazed zombie phase that most moms tell you about. I credit that to co-sleeping. If you have a firm mattress that's big enough, it can be an awesome arrangement.

Thanks! Yep, I can already agree about not being a zombie! My best friend just had a baby Friday - she asked me about this a week or two ago... I told her I didn't feel really, any different than I did before he came. Granted - I'm 'tired'... I normally got 8 hours of sleep in one stretch... but by no means 'zombie'.

Co-sleeping is working well for us. He's 4 weeks today... wow time flies! He's slept with us every night since he was born... starting night one at the birth center... in bed with DH and I! :)

Thanks for your input! I know I just need to take it one day at a time and enjoy these moments!

salt_light
04-28-2005, 07:03 AM
My 7.5 yo ds still comes in some nights. Just recently its been a lot less & that is sad for us. I never thought we would be doing this for this long either. In fact we had tried a couple of times to break him of the habit because of family & friends disapproval. But in the end we had to keep on doing what was right for us. With this ds (7.5 weeks) we reaaly never entertained the idea of him sleeping all alone in his big crib at night... But the crib is a good safe place to put him for a bit when I've got to go :blush

zak
04-28-2005, 07:18 AM
Yeah, I hate the idea of him being alone in a crib - we didn't even buy one :) I did put him in the pack n play inside the little co-sleeper holder thing (the kind you can lay on your bed) for a little while so we could have some alone time. He slept right through it... I was surprised... seems like when I lay him down (asleep or awake) he wakes up and starts to fuss... so that was good for us last night :)

I like having him in the bed. Especially like on nights like last night... he was spitting up all night :(

luvinmykidz
05-02-2005, 03:03 PM
Well my DS still co sleeps with us and he will be 3 this summer!! DH and I love having him in there with us and aren't in a hurry to move him out. Sometimes he tells us he wants to sleep on the little bed on the floor and he does, when he says I wanna sleep in my big boy bed we will be happy to let him transition when he desires!! As for intimacy, there are plenty of other rooms in the house :lol Our bed has only been for sleeping!! DH and I leave DS in our King bed and head on out to the spare room, the living room, the shower.... :O You get the idea??? LOL I think you just have to do what feels right for you!! We love co sleeping and are in no hurry to move him out to his own bed :heart