didn't know how radically GBD I must be until now....

[grandmama]

I went to a homeschooling conference over the weekend and was responsible to introduce one of the speakers. I did not stay for the entire workshop but did stay long enough to hear her talk about teaching 3 and 4 year old children to read. She acted as if this were the norm and my heart really went out to the moms in the room. How many of them are going to feel like complete failures when their little pre-schoolers still want to play instead of read?

There they were, those moms, taking notes, and then hearing this woman talk about some dad she witnessed throwing cold water on his child who was laying on the floor having a tantrum. She acted as if this were normal treatment of children. I knew there were moms taking note on that attitude as well and I wanted to scream. :banghead

Later, I was telling this story to a woman who said "Don't you think a tantrum should be disciplined?" I responded this way,
suppose you were having a terrible day and you were mad and frustrated or you didn't feel good or you had had a terrible disappointment and you were ranting to your husband and he threw cold water in your face? How would you respond? And what if you cried even harder and then he spanked you? Wouldn't you respond to him quite differently if he held you close in his arms and whispered encouraging words to you?" She said "well, yes" so I asked her why is should be different for a child.

I had the same conversation with another woman in the church nursery this morning and she, too, reacted as though she had never thought of another option for children.

I have purposed that I am going to open doors for conversation with young moms wherever I am and plant some seeds....

I guess I didn't realize how radical I am until this weekend when I was so surrounded with authoritarian principles on relating to our children! I think you all are turning me into a radical....

[MarynMunchkins]

I think it is SO cool that you are here, and promoting GBD to younger moms! :tu It's nice to see how this parenting approach turns out with adults, and we all know that Mollie turned out great! :D

[grandmama]

Mary, I only wish poor Mollie hadn't have had to be the guinea pig! I had way too much Dobson influence back in those days!

Seriously, I believe that it has only been in the last couple years, after my husband and I went through a terrible church situation where there was horrible spiritual abuse that I have come to understand grace, as best as any of us can understand it. I am thankful for that experience because of what the Lord taught me, but am resolved that abuse will not come from my hand toward anyone. I keep coming back to the Scripture where Jesus tells us that as we do it unto the least of these, we do it unto Him....

[schoolofmom]

I have purposed that I am going to open doors for conversation with young moms wherever I am and plant some seeds....


Oh, yes! Way to fulfill your Titus mandate. :mrgreen I pray God uses you mightily.

[sadie]

I think you all are turning me into a radical....

turning...or releasing the inner hippie? :lol

[MarynMunchkins]

Mary, I only wish poor Mollie hadn't have had to be the guinea pig! I had way too much Dobson influence back in those days!

Seriously, I believe that it has only been in the last couple years, after my husband and I went through a terrible church situation where there was horrible spiritual abuse that I have come to understand grace, as best as any of us can understand it. I am thankful for that experience because of what the Lord taught me, but am resolved that abuse will not come from my hand toward anyone. I keep coming back to the Scripture where Jesus tells us that as we do it unto the least of these, we do it unto Him....


Well, believe it or not, that makes me feel better! ;) I'm converted from an Ezzo/Pearl mindset :eek :(, so I'm hoping I haven't damaged my older kids too much. :P They seem okay to me. :mrgreen

[milkmommy]

Hey Grandma will you adopt my DH :lol he needs a new mom! Hes just shy of his 41 birthday a spring chicken LOL
Your so right on the tantrum. Now sure we handle some some hands on (as in cuddlng talking) like when a tantrum is the result of frustration a fall illiness and just yucky feelings. We also do more "hands off" validating and giving a allternitive choice but them letting her work it out we do this whe tantrums result in not getting our ways. What we never did was spank for one. Amazingly DD started the big throw self on floor tantrums around 15 months by 18 months they were totally gone. Now if shes gotton to the frustrated point all we need to say is. Would you like me to hold you or do you need to go cuddle with your blanket on the couch and she knows. Its okay I'm sad and It doesn't make me a bad person but I need to help my self calm down.
Deanna

[ArmsOfLove]

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA the transformation is almost complete :monster

:mrgreen

[domesticzookeeper]

Oh, Grandmama...I know a little boy who would love to have you as his grandma :( I know his parents fairly well (our old youth leaders), and they Ezzo (regulated feedings, c.i.o., etc.). My friend is one of his primary babysitters, and she was told to spank him if he threw "tantrums" (at less than 1 yo :eek) :cry :cry

You articulated your thoughts very well, nice job! :tu :highfive

[mom2threePKs]

:clap I wish youwere in my young mom's Bible study!!! We need the voice of wisdom and expereince in there so much sometimes! It is scary when I am the one everyone comes to with discipline questions because with kids 3, 5, and 8 I've got a lot of "experience".

magan

[Wonder Woman]

:nak will you be my ds's grandmama too? please? :highfive

[greenemama]

she's pretty much the best grandmama evuh!

:heart

[Wonder Woman]

she's pretty much the best grandmama evuh!

:heart


But does she go to the dunes with her boyfriend? :mrgreen

[greenemama]

apparently there's a lot you don't know. :D

[akmyilee]

All I can say is Thank you Thank you SO much :)

[cklewis]

I think it is SO cool that you are here, and promoting GBD to younger moms! :tu It's nice to see how this parenting approach turns out with adults, and we all know that Mollie turned out great! :D


ITA!! :clap It is cool. It's so neat to hear from someone who can see the whole forest and not just a couple of trees.

:hug

C

[UltraMother]

Hurray for radical grandmas!

[Kaz]

Yes. Its so shocking how children are treated like animals (or worse than)..why on earth shouldn't they be treated with the same respect and consideration as adults - if not more seeing as they're so new to everything???

So, way to go grandmama :tu We need more like you.

[Katherine]

Hugs and CHEERS for Grandmama!

Bless you and Thank you for sharing with those young Moms; I hope God will give you the opportunity to share with many more.

I think the mothering community desparately needs the voice of women who have walked before us and have already raised their children. It's easy for young Moms to brush aside the opinions of other young Moms who are still in the same stage of raising children. Too many of the Moms from past generations (at least in my area of the country) were punitive and support/encourage their younger counterparts in the same vein. Thank God for Grandmamas like you who have been open to learning new ideas and are becoming the voice of experience and wisdom for today's gentle mothers. :grouphug :hearts

[grandmama]

Well, I am not taking opportunities...I am making opportunities.

I am so thankfull that God is teaching me more about His grace every single day. Consequently, it is my mission to create opportunities to talk about that grace....the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. I think if we only talk about God's grace to us and we ignore the importance of our extending that grace to others, we have not fulfilled the law of God.

Anyway, you guys are so encouraging...

gotta go feed Tina now.....