running, running away, running anywhere!

[mrsramjet]

hi there,
just looking for some ideas / scripts / strategies to use with my 4yr old boy.
he is an intense person and reacts in a big way to nearly everything.

now, when i approach him for just about anything - good or not so good - he runs away from me.
sometimes i manage to move towards him before i broach whatever it is and can get a hand on to him before he manages it. then we have to sit with him on my lap freaking out until he calms down to hear whatever it is....
he also is doing it to be 'funny' when i need him for something.
particularly if he has just hurt or been mean to his little brother or broken something belonging to his older sister.

i am feeling infuriated at the time that my words seem to mean nothing to him. to 'make' them mean something seems to involve me getting into a game of chasey. this isn't always ideal. my dh witnessed me doing this and was so disdainful of the gentle process in that instance. he sent him to his room and banned him from computer time that night. (sigh). dh has never spanked but he is very much into big voices (never actually yells though..... how do men manage that??) and time outs (punitive) etc.
the other option i follow is to 'not engage' in the chase, but that leaves me with "what now?" i'm here and he's over the other side of the yard.

any one????

[ArmsOfLove]

with a 4 yo I'd recommend reading Playful Parenting by Cohen and Bailey's I Love You Rituals and work on connecting. I'd also play games like Mother May I and Red Light, Green Light that cause the child to move towards you in a playful and trusting way.

[Blue Aurora]

I'm reading I Love You Rituals right now and that might be helpful. She talks about why children play games such as hide and seek, chase at inappropriate times, what it means and hwo to handle it. HTH a little.

[mrsramjet]

thanks for those recommendations.

i have just recently ordered "siblings without rivalry" and am waiting it's arrival.
so i need to wait for another book purchase!
is there a site with some of these ideas until i can do that.
we played 'red light/green light' yesterday and he absolutely loved it.

i have also taken the plunge and taken him to a naturopath. we are taking him off gluten and juice (gradually) and treating his encopresis and ear infections, so hopefully this will be a huge piece of the puzzle.

are there any 'i love you rituals' that can be easily understood without buying the book? we are into that kind of thing and can probalby incorporate quite easily........

thanks