Really disappointed with Sonlight...

[Sara]

I am so disappointed in Sonlight! I receive their email newsletter, "The Beam," and today's issue recommended the "Trip to the Woodshed" website. :(

Why don't they just stick to homescholing!?! Argh! :rolleyes

[Mother of Sons]

nt

[ArmsOfLove]

:cry

[Sara]

I wrote a little email. I would encourage anyone else who uses Sonlight to do the same. Their newsletter reaches many, many people and I can just see a few more babies getting spanked tomorrow after parents read the sickening advice on that website. :sick

I can say for certain that they just lost my order for this year.

[Mother of Sons]

nt

[lenswyf]

Yes, but I think you'd find that anywhere. I have been browsing their forums for ideas and one day, I was reading about someone who wanted alternatives to "saucing" their child because the kid likes hot sauce. I was very pleased to see that there were some mamas with gentler minds that chimed in to suggest there were better (gentler) ways to discipline for mouthy behavior. The forums do seem to have a wide range of views represented.

[hearttender4]

Grrr! :mad What does the Christian faith and homeschooling have to do with treating children that way!? :banghead

[Sara]

Lenswyf,

I've read the forums and I know that there are a wide range of parents who use Sonlight. I think that recommending the website in their newsletter implies official endorsement of those types of parenting materials and I'm just not comfortable with that. If I found out that the Holzmans were Pearl users it would annoy me but I probably wouldn't give it much thought. However, if they start *recommending* the Pearls, I would have a much bigger issue with that. Which is exactly what is going on here. The Woodshed seems to be pretty close in philosophy to the Pearls and Sonlight is basically endorsing it. :shrug

[Piper2]

Well, I don't want to generalize, but I've found that punitive discipline seems to be pretty much the expected norm in many homeschooling circles. I remember reading an article once in a homeschooling magazine about some town somewhere that had this wonderful "homeschool building" where they could have their co-op classes, band, ball teams, etc. and thinking, "Oh, I'd love to live there and be a part of that group." Until I read further that they were "blessed" to have the Pearls come speak at some point...I don't remember exactly when. :doh

At our local homeschool convention, there's a vendor there every year (I think they're Mennonites, from the way they dress) that sells...well, I honestly don't know what all they sell, but I do know some of it is the Pearl's stuff. I used to get "bad vibes" from them even before I knew what they sold, and Terri and I avoid that area of the curriculum fair like the plague. :eek But I guess they do good business -- like I said, they're there every year -- and there's always a sample "No Greater Joy" newsletter in every attendee's packet. :rolleyes I guess that one good thing about their not allowing people to bring their kids to our convention is that we aren't having to witness anybody "training up" their children using those methods. :rolleyes

[Quietspirit]

That is disappointing, Sara. I don't think they have any business reccomending discipline sites in their newsletter.

:hug

[Leslie]

Well, I don't want to generalize, but I've found that punitive discipline seems to be pretty much the expected norm in many homeschooling circles.


Clay and Sally Clarkson (eclectic/Charlotte Mason homeschoolers) aren't punitive. (All in all, CM'ers seems to be half and half, some punitive, some gentle.) And then, there's unschoolers. Maybe some others.

Sara, if you really like Sonlight, it might be hasty to reject them wholesale for something not really directly related to homeschooling. Would you use a mediocre homeschool method that you weren't crazy about because the people who created it publicly propogated gentle discipline?

[Piper2]

Well, I don't want to generalize, but I've found that punitive discipline seems to be pretty much the expected norm in many homeschooling circles.


Clay and Sally Clarkson (eclectic/Charlotte Mason homeschoolers) aren't punitive. (All in all, CM'ers seems to be half and half, some punitive, some gentle.) And then, there's unschoolers. Maybe some others.

Yeah, that's what I meant when I said I didn't want to generalize. :) But so far, I don't know any CM'ers or unschoolers (except for Teribear), so all the homeschoolers I've encountered are pretty much "school at home", boxed curriculum (not that there's anything wrong with that), mainstream Bible Belt Christians who spank. I'm feeling quite the "odd duck" just because I'm using Weaver next year and don't know anything IRL who's using it, never mind my parenting philosophy. ;)

[erinee]

I was going to get a subscription to Old Schoolhouse magazine, but then I saw that they recommended TTUAC in their top picks list (I can't remember exactly what they were recommending it for or what it said, and I was so disgusted I threw away the magazine, so I'm afraid I can't quote it). And I'm using MOTH, and I see that she has it listed as recommended reading in the back. :cry I"m afraid HSing is going to be really frustrating for me if I keep seeing this stuff *recommended*. I can understand advertising -- they have to make money -- but I don't like to see them actively recommending it. But I'm afraid if I boycott all hsing stuff that gives recommendations like that, there won't be much left to use.

[Piper2]

IAnd I'm using MOTH, and I see that she has it listed as recommended reading in the back. :cry

Yeah, that's one reason I haven't bothered with MOTH (I heard one of the moms in my hs group last week recommending it to another, and I had to fight to keep from saying something :/). That and the fact that I simply can not be that regimented (even though I can stand to use a lot more organization) and I honestly don't know if I can whittle down her method for handling 6-8 kids down for just my one. ;)

[Leslie]

I don't know any CM'ers or unschoolers (except for Teribear), so all the homeschoolers I've encountered are pretty much "school at home", boxed curriculum (not that there's anything wrong with that), mainstream Bible Belt Christians who spank. I'm feeling quite the "odd duck" just because I'm using Weaver next year and don't know anything IRL who's using it, never mind my parenting philosophy. ;)


I guess it's the same for me, so I've dealt with it by relying on online groups for support. When I think of all the gentle CM'ers I know, I have to remind myself that those are online friends because I tend to forget. :)

[erinee]

Like Lisa, most of the IRL HSers I know are into Pearl and that. When I went to my first curriculum fair a few weeks ago, that stuff was pretty prevalent. I think that's why I'm so drawn to CM. I'm on the ambleside list, and so far there have been no mentions of anything punitive on either the list or the website. I need to try and surround myself as much as possible with the gentle ones and try to ignore the rest.

[DogwoodMama]

I'm sad to hear this, but not surprised. :( But hopefully as the homeschooling community grows there will continue to be more moms who use positive discipline! :)

[Leslie]

I'm on the ambleside list, and so far there have been no mentions of anything punitive on either the list or the website.


Horrors! I can assure you, there will never be anything like that on Ambleside's website!

[erinee]

I'm on the ambleside list, and so far there have been no mentions of anything punitive on either the list or the website.


Horrors! I can assure you, there will never be anything like that on Ambleside's website!


That is good to know! Thanks! :)

[Sara]

Lisa, I agree that this seems to be a fairly common thing with homeschoolers. IRL, I know only two kinds of HSers. Very conservative Christian, school-at-home, punitive HSers or very politically liberal (mostly non-Christian) unschoolers. Although we won't always agree on political issues (or religious issues), I prefer to hang out with the liberal crowd because our child-rearing philosophies more closely match. :)

Leslie, I was leaning away from Sonlight and this was the deciding factor for me. It didn't totally change my opinion. It just helped me make a decision. But I totally understand what you mean. If I was already using and loving Sonlight, I wouldn't reject it based on this one thing. :) Actually, your comments about CM were very interesting to me because I am becoming more and more interested in CM. Reading "Pocketful of Pinecones" has really piqued my interest. But maybe I'll start a new thread about CM. :type

[LikeADimMirror]

Someone posted their dismay at Sonlight's "recommendation"
http://www.sonlight-forums.com/showthread.php?t=99791
Someone from here must have already found that thread, because GCM is linked on it.

[Leslie]

I just read the thread and it was reassuring. Sonlight says they don't officially advocate any one parenting method, but had posted the woodshed site as a reference to something called 'tomato staking' that was mentioned in their newsletter or something. And it sounds like they're open to posting links to various parenting sites as a service to parents, to let them choose among them for themselves.

Anyone know what tomato staking is??

[LikeADimMirror]

Anyone know what tomato staking is??


Tomato staking is what "Elizabeth" does with her kids to train them. The idea is they have to stay right next to her all day (the kid is the tomato, and "Elizabeth" is the stake.) The goal is to try to catch the child starting to do something wrong, so you can smack them before they do the wrong thing.

Tomato staking IS actually a good idea, I just don't smack my kid's hand or spank them everytime I think they might be starting to do something wrong.

[Mama Bird]

Ugh...I was seriously considering Sonlight until I researched their forums and came across so much of this junk. Those moms are downright mean to those gentle mamas who have the temerity to say that spanking a child isn't a good thing.

No way I'll use Sonlight now. Their support system is too adversarial...and their curriculum is too expensive. :mad

[Quietspirit]

I am disappointed with Sonlight as well in this issue. I think it should have been recognized that promoting a spanking infants website in an official newsletter was not a good idea.

[Maggie]

Sara, that *is* disappointing! :(

Is Elizabeth not her real name?

[TillSuper6]

I just wanted to chime in and say how this website has been "The way, the truth', and the lighjt to my family" we are ex mainstream cirriculum punitive turned gentle CM/ unschoolers. I lurked and lurked here or the other boards for so long. I struggled with letting go the punitive way the wronging the rights or getting their flesh under control :idea BUt I laid down the belt and started to give more bear hugs than hits. You ladies are so right about being with like minded people. Just some of us are slow but Praise God we finally get here. This is the first school year out of three that I have had peace and joy because I am about apprenticeship as oppose to book knowledge. JUst keep shining you all's beautiful spirits. And know that many are out here lurking trying to come to peace about raising these beutiful blessing :grouphug

[Quietspirit]

:hug :grouphug I am so thrilled to hear you post that!

[Maggie]

TillSuper6, :mrgreen :jump :hug